Saw Boon San in school today.
Was good to talk with him again, haha also interesting exchanging info and updating each other on the rest of the old batch.
Then he posed a question which slapped me back to reality somewhat.
It sounded good at first,
But then their training days are on tues and thursday, sat and sun. Which means I won't be able to see the team on land training anymore.
Stupid Reu, are you so arrogant to think that they cannot manage without you?
Maybe there's more to pass down to him, maybe he's not ready yet.... maybe I'm not ready yet.
Its hard to think that after all this time of careful planning, no one will be there to move the chess pieces in place for them anymore.
I know that the girls will be alright, Jo, Za, and the future one.
But bugger's concerns about the silent killer, and the new one is so enthusiastic, with so much potential, but am worried that he will get careless.
Bugger said to teach them as much as possible.
There was an evening that under a barrage of heated sms he insisted that we teach them how to fish and not feed them. I hate it when he's right.
Heh, its already happening, the past preventing one from moving on.
I need to let go.
Wednesday, December 29, 2004
Whats with the auntie security guard near the swimming pool?!
I find it downright ridiculous that she doesn't allow ppl to swim in the pool when its raining.
I mean, doesn't she know the difference between a normal shower, and a thunderstorm?
Doesn't she know that if there is no collision in the wind paths, no friction between the water molecules will occur = no static electricity = NO LIGHTNING!!!
And the wind was clearly moving in a linear path.
Anyway, in a way she cares lah. So love wins. And good behaviour on my part. Doh.
The recruitment drive is really killing my canoeing and music programmes!
Haiz... in a way, still want to help Jo, Za, Louis and Dennis out I guess. Idiotic rite.... still not letting go. Maybe until I secure myself with the other team I can still help out lah, yeah.
Did HIIT in the pool with Dennis, Jonathan and PC today.
Haha Jonathan complained dizzy after that, Dennis said felt like throwing up.
Was quite challenging. Did pullups after that, then weights.
Saw the big head and the PHD. The big breasted was supposed to come but was late so didn't get to see him haha.
I find it downright ridiculous that she doesn't allow ppl to swim in the pool when its raining.
I mean, doesn't she know the difference between a normal shower, and a thunderstorm?
Doesn't she know that if there is no collision in the wind paths, no friction between the water molecules will occur = no static electricity = NO LIGHTNING!!!
And the wind was clearly moving in a linear path.
Anyway, in a way she cares lah. So love wins. And good behaviour on my part. Doh.
The recruitment drive is really killing my canoeing and music programmes!
Haiz... in a way, still want to help Jo, Za, Louis and Dennis out I guess. Idiotic rite.... still not letting go. Maybe until I secure myself with the other team I can still help out lah, yeah.
Did HIIT in the pool with Dennis, Jonathan and PC today.
Haha Jonathan complained dizzy after that, Dennis said felt like throwing up.
Was quite challenging. Did pullups after that, then weights.
Saw the big head and the PHD. The big breasted was supposed to come but was late so didn't get to see him haha.
Rowed yesterday....
Capsized for the first time since... national championships. The resistance caught the wave at a funny angle and I tilted.... usually would be able to swerve back but... dunno what happened. Maybe I didn't think it would be possible for me to capsize in Jaguar... since haven't tasted kallang water in so long. But then anyway I did. And was like "OMG! I CAPSIZED!" haha.
First day of the recruitment drive today. Can't help but feel abit sad and worried for the team. Then again some of them are taking it seriously.
I wonder if this team will fall again to what happened last time. I hope not. It really is going to be a huge waste of time and potential if that happens. Then again, perhaps the only way for people to relish what they have otherwise take forgranted, and strive for more, is to be put in a situation where they are forced to see what they have taken forgranted.
Running today was more tiring than usual.... during cool down I realized that I had not changed into my silvershoes! Argh...
Didn't think that the difference would be so great. Bowerman's shoes really help with form and in turn make running less tiring somehow. haha. Seriously, will only buy that brand of running shoes from now on.
After training we played waterpolo in the pool. Was damn farny lah....
People just calling out the name of whoever had the ball... and people passing the ball to the wrong team.
Then the water splashing... hahahaha, damn retarded.
And the funniest part was when louis had the ball at one time, then everyone started chanting his name very quickly to try to get him to pass to them.
Capsized for the first time since... national championships. The resistance caught the wave at a funny angle and I tilted.... usually would be able to swerve back but... dunno what happened. Maybe I didn't think it would be possible for me to capsize in Jaguar... since haven't tasted kallang water in so long. But then anyway I did. And was like "OMG! I CAPSIZED!" haha.
First day of the recruitment drive today. Can't help but feel abit sad and worried for the team. Then again some of them are taking it seriously.
I wonder if this team will fall again to what happened last time. I hope not. It really is going to be a huge waste of time and potential if that happens. Then again, perhaps the only way for people to relish what they have otherwise take forgranted, and strive for more, is to be put in a situation where they are forced to see what they have taken forgranted.
Running today was more tiring than usual.... during cool down I realized that I had not changed into my silvershoes! Argh...
Didn't think that the difference would be so great. Bowerman's shoes really help with form and in turn make running less tiring somehow. haha. Seriously, will only buy that brand of running shoes from now on.
After training we played waterpolo in the pool. Was damn farny lah....
People just calling out the name of whoever had the ball... and people passing the ball to the wrong team.
Then the water splashing... hahahaha, damn retarded.
And the funniest part was when louis had the ball at one time, then everyone started chanting his name very quickly to try to get him to pass to them.
Thursday, December 23, 2004
Had initiation for the new guys exco yesterday haha.
Brought them to make their tags yesterday.
Still remember Hong and I hunted for the bloody place for so long. Quite nostalgic, looking for the underground hidden passage to the place all over again.
Then showed them Chung Sing.. crap forgot the spelling again. To look at the specs for the shirt and find out pricing.
Then Louis went off with his missus, and heeedaryarhg asked about dinner so met her and Jas with Dennis.
Met hong today for secret training before db training.
Still amazing what I can learn from him. In a way, some things never change, his predictions and advises got me where I am now, this also makes me worry about his future prediction for me. I wonder if I will be able to cope.
I just love living a care free life, and he just loves slapping me back to reality. Hahaha.
DB training went well. They did well, proud of em. Ohhh Melvin's birthday too. Managed to errr... congratulate him ahuahuahuahuahau.
And I find my recollections of the days are getting more and more summarized. Wonder if that means anything.
Oh well.
Brought them to make their tags yesterday.
Still remember Hong and I hunted for the bloody place for so long. Quite nostalgic, looking for the underground hidden passage to the place all over again.
Then showed them Chung Sing.. crap forgot the spelling again. To look at the specs for the shirt and find out pricing.
Then Louis went off with his missus, and heeedaryarhg asked about dinner so met her and Jas with Dennis.
Met hong today for secret training before db training.
Still amazing what I can learn from him. In a way, some things never change, his predictions and advises got me where I am now, this also makes me worry about his future prediction for me. I wonder if I will be able to cope.
I just love living a care free life, and he just loves slapping me back to reality. Hahaha.
DB training went well. They did well, proud of em. Ohhh Melvin's birthday too. Managed to errr... congratulate him ahuahuahuahuahau.
And I find my recollections of the days are getting more and more summarized. Wonder if that means anything.
Oh well.
Tuesday, December 21, 2004
Its finally over.
The promise fulfilled.
Everything worked out as expected and planned. I didn't even have to call up the auxilliary plans.
Was smiling with pride when he went up. Yesterday was the biggest test. There at the fitness corner near the school track. In the face of the impossible challenge, he didn't give up. But in the end, it was completed. I believe it was a success.
I wonder if the other one was dissapointed? His journey, although longer in preperation has the greatest potential.
Alot of mixed feelings today.
Telling them about what happened last time. I almost couldn't continue, because some of it was too sad. And some of it too painful to relive in those few seconds. I remembered Seb and Louie... Jingwei, Roy, James, Chunyi, Joseph.... Hong.... Steph.
And now, although it may seem hard... it would be ironic if I didn't let go. Because these last few months of hard preperation was, just to make sure that this new exco will be a success.
Maybe now I can kick back and enjoy training again :)
The promise fulfilled.
Everything worked out as expected and planned. I didn't even have to call up the auxilliary plans.
Was smiling with pride when he went up. Yesterday was the biggest test. There at the fitness corner near the school track. In the face of the impossible challenge, he didn't give up. But in the end, it was completed. I believe it was a success.
I wonder if the other one was dissapointed? His journey, although longer in preperation has the greatest potential.
Alot of mixed feelings today.
Telling them about what happened last time. I almost couldn't continue, because some of it was too sad. And some of it too painful to relive in those few seconds. I remembered Seb and Louie... Jingwei, Roy, James, Chunyi, Joseph.... Hong.... Steph.
And now, although it may seem hard... it would be ironic if I didn't let go. Because these last few months of hard preperation was, just to make sure that this new exco will be a success.
Maybe now I can kick back and enjoy training again :)
Sunday, December 19, 2004
Went for a run just now.
Yes, I'm supposed to be on break, holiday, off-season rest, whatever. But... feel like shit lah... late get fat then die.
Anyway ran 4k. Yeah, damn slack right, used to do 5k.
Was talking to him on friday. The more I talked to him, the more I knew that this was the one that would take up that position in an awesome manner, and I could foresee him leading them in much like I would like to.
I look at my wallet nowadays, and am constantly reminded that so soon, that burden shall be liften off and passed to another. The half broken dragon keychain will be carried by another. But ironically, the work doesn't end so soon for me. There is yet some amount of guidance and support I must give before I sum up my role in the team.
Mixed feeling, really.
At the start of the semester, I was sad that I had to give up that dream, in order to fulfill my promise to Ben, and to Hong.
Then came the endless nights of worrying, about how we could help the team to climb up slowly from its rock-bottom state.
And that's no exaggeration. We had a mere handful of seniors, there was conflict among them, and the last race had left many demoralized and many had thought of leaving.
In a way, the worrying never stops, maybe it won't until I finally leave.
Discipline, morale, team spirit, the camp, fellowship, conflicts, respect, the race preperations, the race... It seemed like it would never end.
I remembered a time when I grew so tired. Then, it subsided.
And now, although part of me would like things to continue, I know that its better this way.
Soon, I will be able to pursue that dream which I had given up previously.
And although I know it will hurt to severe my ties with them.
I know all too well the consequences of holding on to the past.
It prevents you from moving on - Too many times I have seen it affect the people around me.
Well, there's yet some work to do before that anyway.
Tomorrow I will put him through 'that' program.
Just as Hong did to me two years ago.
I hope that the memories of it will provide him with the courage as it did for me at times.
Yes, I'm supposed to be on break, holiday, off-season rest, whatever. But... feel like shit lah... late get fat then die.
Anyway ran 4k. Yeah, damn slack right, used to do 5k.
Was talking to him on friday. The more I talked to him, the more I knew that this was the one that would take up that position in an awesome manner, and I could foresee him leading them in much like I would like to.
I look at my wallet nowadays, and am constantly reminded that so soon, that burden shall be liften off and passed to another. The half broken dragon keychain will be carried by another. But ironically, the work doesn't end so soon for me. There is yet some amount of guidance and support I must give before I sum up my role in the team.
Mixed feeling, really.
At the start of the semester, I was sad that I had to give up that dream, in order to fulfill my promise to Ben, and to Hong.
Then came the endless nights of worrying, about how we could help the team to climb up slowly from its rock-bottom state.
And that's no exaggeration. We had a mere handful of seniors, there was conflict among them, and the last race had left many demoralized and many had thought of leaving.
In a way, the worrying never stops, maybe it won't until I finally leave.
Discipline, morale, team spirit, the camp, fellowship, conflicts, respect, the race preperations, the race... It seemed like it would never end.
I remembered a time when I grew so tired. Then, it subsided.
And now, although part of me would like things to continue, I know that its better this way.
Soon, I will be able to pursue that dream which I had given up previously.
And although I know it will hurt to severe my ties with them.
I know all too well the consequences of holding on to the past.
It prevents you from moving on - Too many times I have seen it affect the people around me.
Well, there's yet some work to do before that anyway.
Tomorrow I will put him through 'that' program.
Just as Hong did to me two years ago.
I hope that the memories of it will provide him with the courage as it did for me at times.
Friday, December 17, 2004
A few late nights later......
http://www.reubenkee.com/music/remixes/Legend%20of%20the%20Snake.mp3
Finished at last.
Hooray.
http://www.reubenkee.com/music/remixes/Legend%20of%20the%20Snake.mp3
Finished at last.
Hooray.
Thursday, December 09, 2004
Wonder why guys are so dumb sometimes.
Some childish feelings or egoism make some people want to fight.
Maybe people are right to say that games and tv promote violence in the wrong way. They think that its heroic, or will make people respect them.
And perhaps it is natural instinct, testosterone, or the high of adrenaline that can be the persuasive factors as well.
This also makes me worry about myself. I'm also affected by the mediums as well. And i know that I too sometimes have had thoughts about disabling someone with violence.
"Whoever fights, doesn't matter who started it - loses". Someone once told me. True. You don't need to know where to hit to injure someone badly, but you don't have god mode on either, dumbass. If its in school, instant suspension. If its outside and its reported, you're going to court, and in most cases, end up in the boys home. Maybe that will help them? I've seen it calm a few of my friends down. But its a real waste of time and life.
Perhaps unlike the average guy, I know where to strike. So many points whereby the quickest poke can do more damage then a full blown punch to the chest.
Which is also probably why I am afraid of what could happen, should I ever lose control.
Maybe I'm finding my balance between heart and mind more and more each day. The heart wishes to do something, but the mind must filter it first. But if the mind wants to do something that the heart does not, then it cannot be accomplished.
Sometimes I wonder why I learnt this crap in the first place. Probably tv and games again, eh? I guess until I find out, I can use it to quell any fight before someone gets seriously hurt.
I saw them walk back and go into the toilet after him.
Immediately called for YX and JW to come with me into the toilet, in the hopes that they won't do anything funny if they see me or a large group of us around.
I prayed that I would not see any blood tonight.
Managed to cool off the other side abit. This time.
But I also wonder if the only way that some people will learn, is if they get what they want and end up hurt.
Sad.
Some childish feelings or egoism make some people want to fight.
Maybe people are right to say that games and tv promote violence in the wrong way. They think that its heroic, or will make people respect them.
And perhaps it is natural instinct, testosterone, or the high of adrenaline that can be the persuasive factors as well.
This also makes me worry about myself. I'm also affected by the mediums as well. And i know that I too sometimes have had thoughts about disabling someone with violence.
"Whoever fights, doesn't matter who started it - loses". Someone once told me. True. You don't need to know where to hit to injure someone badly, but you don't have god mode on either, dumbass. If its in school, instant suspension. If its outside and its reported, you're going to court, and in most cases, end up in the boys home. Maybe that will help them? I've seen it calm a few of my friends down. But its a real waste of time and life.
Perhaps unlike the average guy, I know where to strike. So many points whereby the quickest poke can do more damage then a full blown punch to the chest.
Which is also probably why I am afraid of what could happen, should I ever lose control.
Maybe I'm finding my balance between heart and mind more and more each day. The heart wishes to do something, but the mind must filter it first. But if the mind wants to do something that the heart does not, then it cannot be accomplished.
Sometimes I wonder why I learnt this crap in the first place. Probably tv and games again, eh? I guess until I find out, I can use it to quell any fight before someone gets seriously hurt.
I saw them walk back and go into the toilet after him.
Immediately called for YX and JW to come with me into the toilet, in the hopes that they won't do anything funny if they see me or a large group of us around.
I prayed that I would not see any blood tonight.
Managed to cool off the other side abit. This time.
But I also wonder if the only way that some people will learn, is if they get what they want and end up hurt.
Sad.
Monday, December 06, 2004
Shit lah....
Went to the basketball court to shoot some hoops just now...
No one around, so did shooting drills.
Sunk about 40 balls, then the lights went *OUT*
Wtf? So I went to the other court near dome.
And the blardy lights were out also. Went nearer in disbelief, and turns out the whole court got barrier around it... upgrading again.
I swear, I've never come across a court that gets upgraded/repaired THAT many times.
That has got to be the 2nd-3rd time this year already! Why the chao bengs like to destroy the court so much?!
Anyway was damn dissapointed. One court was supposed to lights out at 12 midnight, the other at 11pm. But one's lighting cocked up, and the other had to be upgraded.
Frick lah.
Came home and did 100 pullups.
I think I'm quite slacked.... the last set of 20 can't do standard one...
Today was just a really slacked and lazy day. I shall do weights to compensate now.
Went to the basketball court to shoot some hoops just now...
No one around, so did shooting drills.
Sunk about 40 balls, then the lights went *OUT*
Wtf? So I went to the other court near dome.
And the blardy lights were out also. Went nearer in disbelief, and turns out the whole court got barrier around it... upgrading again.
I swear, I've never come across a court that gets upgraded/repaired THAT many times.
That has got to be the 2nd-3rd time this year already! Why the chao bengs like to destroy the court so much?!
Anyway was damn dissapointed. One court was supposed to lights out at 12 midnight, the other at 11pm. But one's lighting cocked up, and the other had to be upgraded.
Frick lah.
Came home and did 100 pullups.
I think I'm quite slacked.... the last set of 20 can't do standard one...
Today was just a really slacked and lazy day. I shall do weights to compensate now.
Lets see... what's new....
Did a Metal Gear Solid 1-3 orchestral fusion remix....
http://www.reubenkee.com/music/remixes/Legend%20of%20the%20Snake.mp3
And am playing: Lord of the Rings: The third age.
Presentation of the game is awesome, and the music is just awesomer because its lord of the rings music! haha.
Pacing is kinda fast though.....
Did a Metal Gear Solid 1-3 orchestral fusion remix....
http://www.reubenkee.com/music/remixes/Legend%20of%20the%20Snake.mp3
And am playing: Lord of the Rings: The third age.
Presentation of the game is awesome, and the music is just awesomer because its lord of the rings music! haha.
Pacing is kinda fast though.....
Thursday, December 02, 2004
I know I was supposed to recap the final day of the race.
But perhaps some things are better left remembered as memories.
Its december already.
How time does fly.
I guess I'm sort of in limbo now.
Waiting for the blardy enlistment letter to come.
Till it does I don't know how to plan out anything.
Haiz.
But perhaps some things are better left remembered as memories.
Its december already.
How time does fly.
I guess I'm sort of in limbo now.
Waiting for the blardy enlistment letter to come.
Till it does I don't know how to plan out anything.
Haiz.
Monday, November 22, 2004
Recap of the race.....
Bugger really stresses me out sometimes....
He took a big risk by not putting our best rowers down for the mixed and opens set, just to try and give more of the team exposure.
But I guess.... looking at the lanes and current.... I wonder if it would have made a big difference anyway.
Everyone's talking about luck in this race. Lanes, collisions, high tide, low tide, in flow, out flow.
Overheard one team talking while waiting for our event:
"Shit man, lane one is like cursed."
"Yah, see the blardy scoreboard.... all got same pattern one."
"I don't care... next time we come here, our new goal will be nothing more than - to prove that lane one is cursed."
Just found that so amusing.
Alot of crap to keep track of at the race site. Are the guys psyched up or down properly, is everyone around basecamp, when is our event, is it going to rain, what lane we are in, what time our event is, how the current will be at that time, who are our opponents.
I guess at every competition I just have a serious face. Why the hell not? Its a serious matter. Yet every now and then someone would try to 'relax' me. I don't need to frickin relax loh :p
Though it was nice to talk to the grand seniors again. Even if they were with safsa or ntu.
Weiwen talking about the current and lanes and luck with me.
Roy asking me not to push too hard.
Boon telling me the guys look too stressed out :p
Sensei explaining the tides and flow, and tempting me with beer :p
Then came the ivp mens heats.
I knew it would be not an easy race. The teams I respect the most were in our heats, and we were in the worst lane and current combination.
Rowed like hell, screamed/sounded off for the end charge. Wasn't our best set, thought we were screwed as saw the uni boat slightly infront of us at the finish line.
Then looked around and saw no other boats and thought: "wtf?".
So I looked behind and saw two boats in great turmoil and thought "WTF?!".
Ok tired, I guess recap of the finals tomorrow.
Bugger really stresses me out sometimes....
He took a big risk by not putting our best rowers down for the mixed and opens set, just to try and give more of the team exposure.
But I guess.... looking at the lanes and current.... I wonder if it would have made a big difference anyway.
Everyone's talking about luck in this race. Lanes, collisions, high tide, low tide, in flow, out flow.
Overheard one team talking while waiting for our event:
"Shit man, lane one is like cursed."
"Yah, see the blardy scoreboard.... all got same pattern one."
"I don't care... next time we come here, our new goal will be nothing more than - to prove that lane one is cursed."
Just found that so amusing.
Alot of crap to keep track of at the race site. Are the guys psyched up or down properly, is everyone around basecamp, when is our event, is it going to rain, what lane we are in, what time our event is, how the current will be at that time, who are our opponents.
I guess at every competition I just have a serious face. Why the hell not? Its a serious matter. Yet every now and then someone would try to 'relax' me. I don't need to frickin relax loh :p
Though it was nice to talk to the grand seniors again. Even if they were with safsa or ntu.
Weiwen talking about the current and lanes and luck with me.
Roy asking me not to push too hard.
Boon telling me the guys look too stressed out :p
Sensei explaining the tides and flow, and tempting me with beer :p
Then came the ivp mens heats.
I knew it would be not an easy race. The teams I respect the most were in our heats, and we were in the worst lane and current combination.
Rowed like hell, screamed/sounded off for the end charge. Wasn't our best set, thought we were screwed as saw the uni boat slightly infront of us at the finish line.
Then looked around and saw no other boats and thought: "wtf?".
So I looked behind and saw two boats in great turmoil and thought "WTF?!".
Ok tired, I guess recap of the finals tomorrow.
Wednesday, November 17, 2004
http://www.reubenkee.com/music/remixes/Ascension%20to%20Cosmo%20Canyon.mp3
Yeah, jackpot in the inspiration department!
Yeah, jackpot in the inspiration department!
Monday, November 15, 2004
Got my hands on two final fantasy concerts.
;_;
So beautiful.... these symphony orchestra arrangements.... the movements.... so fluid.
I need to simulate the emotion in my arrangements. Its difficult to emulate the extreme crescendos with software sometimes. Its not as simple as people as just making sure everything is in timing or quantizing the notes.... not even slowing or accelerating the speed of the song can properly convey the emotions or subtle pauses or holds that a real life conductor can pull off almost unnoticably.
Amazing.
I'm so demoralized right now haha.
Ah well, this'll help me improve.
The race is this weekend.
Quite sad, in a way. Last happenings....
Soon, only memories.
And as Hong left me, I shall inevitably have to leave them.
;_;
So beautiful.... these symphony orchestra arrangements.... the movements.... so fluid.
I need to simulate the emotion in my arrangements. Its difficult to emulate the extreme crescendos with software sometimes. Its not as simple as people as just making sure everything is in timing or quantizing the notes.... not even slowing or accelerating the speed of the song can properly convey the emotions or subtle pauses or holds that a real life conductor can pull off almost unnoticably.
Amazing.
I'm so demoralized right now haha.
Ah well, this'll help me improve.
The race is this weekend.
Quite sad, in a way. Last happenings....
Soon, only memories.
And as Hong left me, I shall inevitably have to leave them.
Thursday, November 11, 2004
DB Training is getting more challenging, but the team constantly suprises me by persevering on.
Perhaps what is more suprising is how so many individuals which I initially did not notice have proven to become stronger, and shown determination which I would not have expected. And those whom I had high hopes for have somehow dissapointed in some aspects.
Thus is human nature, it seems. Never take anything for face value. Never think highly of someone just because others do.
Maybe bugger was right in his warning not putting too high hopes. But in a way, it has paid off so far, regardless. I'm sure Jo would agree.
Went for the kayaking chalet yesterday. I realize that its quite difficult for me to just try and relax sometimes. Always have to do something, always must have a plan, a course of action in effect.
Saw Stephen. Again reminded of the dissapointment. But, happy that at least he's doing what he wants.
Went out with the Alumni guys to watch Taxi at J8. Wonder why people like to reminisce so much... me included. The sadness, the resentment, but also the motivation was invoked once again. Sometimes its sad. Sometimes the past can prevent one from moving on. But I always remind myself to only study the past only to learn from it for future benefit.
In a way the greatest thing that Hong gave me was not expecting anything of me in this team.
Or at least not letting me know about it.
Perhaps what is more suprising is how so many individuals which I initially did not notice have proven to become stronger, and shown determination which I would not have expected. And those whom I had high hopes for have somehow dissapointed in some aspects.
Thus is human nature, it seems. Never take anything for face value. Never think highly of someone just because others do.
Maybe bugger was right in his warning not putting too high hopes. But in a way, it has paid off so far, regardless. I'm sure Jo would agree.
Went for the kayaking chalet yesterday. I realize that its quite difficult for me to just try and relax sometimes. Always have to do something, always must have a plan, a course of action in effect.
Saw Stephen. Again reminded of the dissapointment. But, happy that at least he's doing what he wants.
Went out with the Alumni guys to watch Taxi at J8. Wonder why people like to reminisce so much... me included. The sadness, the resentment, but also the motivation was invoked once again. Sometimes its sad. Sometimes the past can prevent one from moving on. But I always remind myself to only study the past only to learn from it for future benefit.
In a way the greatest thing that Hong gave me was not expecting anything of me in this team.
Or at least not letting me know about it.
Saturday, November 06, 2004
Hmmm have an interesting story to tell today....
Was at the coffee shop eating dinner with parents just now... when I felt this irritating sensation in my right eye and nose. Immediately turned behind and stared a some man in his 60-70s who was sitting at an adjacent table and inconsiderately blowing smoke in our direction. It already ticks me off when total strangers don't care for their own health and hygiene, but happily try to infiltrate other people's lungs with tar.... but such an act near the parents was highly disrespectful.
So I stared.... not a "Oi, you wanna fight issit?" stare, but a polite "Hey that's annoying" stare. Yes yes, I always remember uncle's words to never abuse what we have learnt to go and look for a fight and bully other people... although I pity the poor foo who tries to pick something with me....
And, he soon stopped puffing our way. What a gentleman he was. Truly. And so the rest of the meal was undisturbed.
Later when we were leaving and walking out of the place the man got up and gestured to my mother for her attention as he approached her.
And I thought. "Wtf? Does this guy really want to die?"
But his tempo was not erratic nor violent, and as he approached he said "excuse me".
"huh?" I thought.
Apparantly he and his friend were making a bet as to what sport I was in... because he said I had a good build and broad chest and bet that I was in swimming.
"WTF?"
Why some old men got nothing better to do.....
I wonder what his friend bet.... anyway there goes his money.
Was at the coffee shop eating dinner with parents just now... when I felt this irritating sensation in my right eye and nose. Immediately turned behind and stared a some man in his 60-70s who was sitting at an adjacent table and inconsiderately blowing smoke in our direction. It already ticks me off when total strangers don't care for their own health and hygiene, but happily try to infiltrate other people's lungs with tar.... but such an act near the parents was highly disrespectful.
So I stared.... not a "Oi, you wanna fight issit?" stare, but a polite "Hey that's annoying" stare. Yes yes, I always remember uncle's words to never abuse what we have learnt to go and look for a fight and bully other people... although I pity the poor foo who tries to pick something with me....
And, he soon stopped puffing our way. What a gentleman he was. Truly. And so the rest of the meal was undisturbed.
Later when we were leaving and walking out of the place the man got up and gestured to my mother for her attention as he approached her.
And I thought. "Wtf? Does this guy really want to die?"
But his tempo was not erratic nor violent, and as he approached he said "excuse me".
"huh?" I thought.
Apparantly he and his friend were making a bet as to what sport I was in... because he said I had a good build and broad chest and bet that I was in swimming.
"WTF?"
Why some old men got nothing better to do.....
I wonder what his friend bet.... anyway there goes his money.
Wednesday, October 27, 2004
Finally did the "forbidden training" yesterday.
Went pretty well. Al was a little worried about telling me about because he was afraid shifu would think he's a bad influence haha.
Well he can safely say he tried to persuade me out of it.
So this month my max pullups hit 30. Which is a slight improvement I guess.
Need to push up to 35 next.
Just redownloaded windows media player, cuz some godamned spyware corrupted it previously... and updated icq and msn messnger. Changed messenger's message beep to a very pleasant chord, instead of the usual "BI DI DING!" Sounds so pleasant every time someone msgs me now hahaha not like last time... so irritating.
Went pretty well. Al was a little worried about telling me about because he was afraid shifu would think he's a bad influence haha.
Well he can safely say he tried to persuade me out of it.
So this month my max pullups hit 30. Which is a slight improvement I guess.
Need to push up to 35 next.
Just redownloaded windows media player, cuz some godamned spyware corrupted it previously... and updated icq and msn messnger. Changed messenger's message beep to a very pleasant chord, instead of the usual "BI DI DING!" Sounds so pleasant every time someone msgs me now hahaha not like last time... so irritating.
Monday, October 25, 2004
I had a weird dream just now....
Dreamt that suddenly it was my time to go...
Was abit scared at first.... didn't know what to tell bugger, didn't know how to leave the team so suddenly.
I guess in a few months time, this will inevitably become a reality.
Just wish that damned letter would arrive so I would finally know where the hell I am posted to.
Dreamt that suddenly it was my time to go...
Was abit scared at first.... didn't know what to tell bugger, didn't know how to leave the team so suddenly.
I guess in a few months time, this will inevitably become a reality.
Just wish that damned letter would arrive so I would finally know where the hell I am posted to.
I can't remember when the last time I felt.... was
the last time I laughed at a joke,
the last time I felt sad,
the last time I felt excited,
the last time I felt angry....
Maybe somewhere along the line I found out that if I dealt with these feelings after setbacks, or losses, I could pick myself up so fast, and go again. But getting numb.... wonder if its worth it.
I would never put myself in the victim's position. Some people say fate has put them in a bad place, or god is playing a cruel game on them. I could never accept anything associated with the fact that there's something out there that does something to do you that you cannot do anything about.
These people mourn and bask in their self pity, in their terrible predicament, that they cannot see the positive or the opportunities presented to them where they are. They are the real 'losers' in life.
But maybe sometimes you can get so caught up in "winning" or "losing", that you forget to just "live".
the last time I laughed at a joke,
the last time I felt sad,
the last time I felt excited,
the last time I felt angry....
Maybe somewhere along the line I found out that if I dealt with these feelings after setbacks, or losses, I could pick myself up so fast, and go again. But getting numb.... wonder if its worth it.
I would never put myself in the victim's position. Some people say fate has put them in a bad place, or god is playing a cruel game on them. I could never accept anything associated with the fact that there's something out there that does something to do you that you cannot do anything about.
These people mourn and bask in their self pity, in their terrible predicament, that they cannot see the positive or the opportunities presented to them where they are. They are the real 'losers' in life.
But maybe sometimes you can get so caught up in "winning" or "losing", that you forget to just "live".
Saturday, October 23, 2004
Tiring day....
After yesterday's training I was really looking forward to some slightly more relaxed training... but sensei had other plans for us...
4km warmup then 6 sets of 1km sprint then 1km long pull.
Was bloody irritated today cuz its like almost impossible to catch up with the bloody advantage mold k2. And stupid butt kept cramping.
But kept telling myself that if you push on in shitty conditions I will become stronger both mentally and physically.
Was damn tired after training.... was supposed to go to the gerber's house but.... came home, fell on my bed and took a nap till 7pm plus.
Haiz....
After yesterday's training I was really looking forward to some slightly more relaxed training... but sensei had other plans for us...
4km warmup then 6 sets of 1km sprint then 1km long pull.
Was bloody irritated today cuz its like almost impossible to catch up with the bloody advantage mold k2. And stupid butt kept cramping.
But kept telling myself that if you push on in shitty conditions I will become stronger both mentally and physically.
Was damn tired after training.... was supposed to go to the gerber's house but.... came home, fell on my bed and took a nap till 7pm plus.
Haiz....
Friday, October 22, 2004
I can't remember when was the last time I sat down and watched the tv for more than 10-20 minutes....
Last night I watched... As my own or something like that....
Damn nice show ah... I like the woman who played the mother alot ;_;
Then there was an actor's workshop with john travolta on arts central... which was... kinda abstract but interesting nevertheless.
Haha but I guess that's that. TV makes you lazy.... :p
Last night I watched... As my own or something like that....
Damn nice show ah... I like the woman who played the mother alot ;_;
Then there was an actor's workshop with john travolta on arts central... which was... kinda abstract but interesting nevertheless.
Haha but I guess that's that. TV makes you lazy.... :p
Wednesday, October 20, 2004
Argh.... definately overtrained over these past 2 days....
Rowing in the morning with Al yesterday, then again with YX in the evening.... did 120 pullups altogether...
Then today.... followed sis to gym for fun... plus training.... did 168 pullups... wtf?
My arms really felt like crap during the last few sets.
Worrying about the team again these few days.... exam and test weeks.... attendance like crap. Some who don't even have papers can even go out instead of coming for training.
Maybe they don't know.... some people they just can't fool.
When they give you their "reasons" or "excuses".... some people can read.
The extent of the smile, the shortened sentences, the tilt of the head, the hands movement, the body movement. You can try your best to bluff other people, but in the end not everyone can fool themselves. Sometimes I wish I couldn't read them.... it would be less painful that way.
I wonder if its even possible for me to affect such people? But the greatest irony is those who come out of national service....
Teach you how to become a man? Maybe for some. For some it will teach you how to chao keng, how to be a slacker, how to be irresponsible when possible. Well done, SAF.
Okok enough ranting.... maybe just needed to blow off some steam.... back to the positive :p
Rowing in the morning with Al yesterday, then again with YX in the evening.... did 120 pullups altogether...
Then today.... followed sis to gym for fun... plus training.... did 168 pullups... wtf?
My arms really felt like crap during the last few sets.
Worrying about the team again these few days.... exam and test weeks.... attendance like crap. Some who don't even have papers can even go out instead of coming for training.
Maybe they don't know.... some people they just can't fool.
When they give you their "reasons" or "excuses".... some people can read.
The extent of the smile, the shortened sentences, the tilt of the head, the hands movement, the body movement. You can try your best to bluff other people, but in the end not everyone can fool themselves. Sometimes I wish I couldn't read them.... it would be less painful that way.
I wonder if its even possible for me to affect such people? But the greatest irony is those who come out of national service....
Teach you how to become a man? Maybe for some. For some it will teach you how to chao keng, how to be a slacker, how to be irresponsible when possible. Well done, SAF.
Okok enough ranting.... maybe just needed to blow off some steam.... back to the positive :p
Sunday, October 17, 2004
Last week's rowing with Al was a real wake up call for me....
I would never have expected the gap in terms of water sense, technique, and fitness to be so drastically apart.
He's a monster... kicked till my legs cramped and pulled till I thought I was going to die just to try to catch up with him for the short 6km that we did.
But the most scary part was at the end... when he asked me to do pullups.
I now know that I've gotten too comfortable during training. I guess you need to see someone who's better then you can slap yourself and say what the heck are you doing.
Been doing 6 sets of 15 pullups during training ever since. Slowly working towards 6 sets of 20.
Then there was the k2 race today at bedok reservoir.
Firstly I had high hopes partnering Kenny. Then having so many balancing problems in that blue boat which is firstly hard to balance in, secondly, I had to adjust my stroke so that the damned thing wouldn't go usntable. wtf?
So yeah, second thoughts. Thought we were screwed... but I still knew that we were going to give them one hell of a fight if we were going to go down.
But today's race set.... was lucky/fantastic in some ways, although we could have done better in others.
Balance was... suprisingly good... and the traingle stroke which I had to do so that th boat would not flip over and which I thought was just plain retarded worked out in the end. In the end it was Kenny who cocked up the balance abit at the end haha, but no worries, we both did our best. Although the starting sucked, and the ending sucked....
Which if we had done better for, that 0.25 seconds behind the NUS k2 pair and the 0.5 seconds behind the team singapore/hcjc pair would have been in our favour instead.
Things are looking up.
Oh yeah, sensei said that they may be starting a safsa canoeing team.
I may just get to be in the "pioneer" batch.
First things first, regetta.
Probably my last stand against the unis with the team. This one's the big one. I don't care about the simple pleasures of victory or the drive of the fight. This race will mark the end of my vow to make an underdog emerge victorious and end the bitter feud between some factions.
I would never have expected the gap in terms of water sense, technique, and fitness to be so drastically apart.
He's a monster... kicked till my legs cramped and pulled till I thought I was going to die just to try to catch up with him for the short 6km that we did.
But the most scary part was at the end... when he asked me to do pullups.
I now know that I've gotten too comfortable during training. I guess you need to see someone who's better then you can slap yourself and say what the heck are you doing.
Been doing 6 sets of 15 pullups during training ever since. Slowly working towards 6 sets of 20.
Then there was the k2 race today at bedok reservoir.
Firstly I had high hopes partnering Kenny. Then having so many balancing problems in that blue boat which is firstly hard to balance in, secondly, I had to adjust my stroke so that the damned thing wouldn't go usntable. wtf?
So yeah, second thoughts. Thought we were screwed... but I still knew that we were going to give them one hell of a fight if we were going to go down.
But today's race set.... was lucky/fantastic in some ways, although we could have done better in others.
Balance was... suprisingly good... and the traingle stroke which I had to do so that th boat would not flip over and which I thought was just plain retarded worked out in the end. In the end it was Kenny who cocked up the balance abit at the end haha, but no worries, we both did our best. Although the starting sucked, and the ending sucked....
Which if we had done better for, that 0.25 seconds behind the NUS k2 pair and the 0.5 seconds behind the team singapore/hcjc pair would have been in our favour instead.
Things are looking up.
Oh yeah, sensei said that they may be starting a safsa canoeing team.
I may just get to be in the "pioneer" batch.
First things first, regetta.
Probably my last stand against the unis with the team. This one's the big one. I don't care about the simple pleasures of victory or the drive of the fight. This race will mark the end of my vow to make an underdog emerge victorious and end the bitter feud between some factions.
Sunday, October 10, 2004
Sat morning's sea training was ok.
I didn't get to leisure row. Damnit.
Instead sensei made us do sprinting sets.
He let me use Jaguar too haha yay.
1st set we were supposed to do pickup, then "just finish the rest". So went easy after that.
2nd set onward was all out. Tied with Kenny.
3rd set -6th set 1st. Kenny dropped out at the 5-6th set cuz of his asthma or something.
Beat sensei a couple of sets... then saw him lagging behind for the 4th set and suspected something was up....
Sure enough the bugger was resting to attack for the next set.
Grrr.... he even said that he hadn't rowed for 1 month yet I couldn't beat him argh. Very irritated.
Then tried the new boats. Nice...
But I still prefer Jaguar.
Today's pacing with CD went... moderately ok.
Bugger put me at the exact same position as sensei was in his boat. Could see his cocky smile between sets. argh.
Anyway, seems I forgot to take an off day from training last week. Shit. Training 9 times a week, my legs and arms wanna die liao.
I think I'm just going to lie down for the rest of today.
.... and torture the dog abit hahahah
I didn't get to leisure row. Damnit.
Instead sensei made us do sprinting sets.
He let me use Jaguar too haha yay.
1st set we were supposed to do pickup, then "just finish the rest". So went easy after that.
2nd set onward was all out. Tied with Kenny.
3rd set -6th set 1st. Kenny dropped out at the 5-6th set cuz of his asthma or something.
Beat sensei a couple of sets... then saw him lagging behind for the 4th set and suspected something was up....
Sure enough the bugger was resting to attack for the next set.
Grrr.... he even said that he hadn't rowed for 1 month yet I couldn't beat him argh. Very irritated.
Then tried the new boats. Nice...
But I still prefer Jaguar.
Today's pacing with CD went... moderately ok.
Bugger put me at the exact same position as sensei was in his boat. Could see his cocky smile between sets. argh.
Anyway, seems I forgot to take an off day from training last week. Shit. Training 9 times a week, my legs and arms wanna die liao.
I think I'm just going to lie down for the rest of today.
.... and torture the dog abit hahahah
Friday, October 08, 2004
HISIT program exercises yesterday morning was killer....
I've never walked home from any training so slowly and energyless before. Walking out for lunch was a pain in the ass haha.
Went rowing in the evening. Did 3km warmup then sprints. Met my PB easily at 2:15minutes for 500 metres. The new technique rocks.
Training today was fun. Did sprinting, although felt my right ham very tight... abit scared haha. Statics was fast and we did weights, yay.
Haiz... training tomorrow morning... sunday morning. I think I'll just leisure row tomorrow or something haha.
I've never walked home from any training so slowly and energyless before. Walking out for lunch was a pain in the ass haha.
Went rowing in the evening. Did 3km warmup then sprints. Met my PB easily at 2:15minutes for 500 metres. The new technique rocks.
Training today was fun. Did sprinting, although felt my right ham very tight... abit scared haha. Statics was fast and we did weights, yay.
Haiz... training tomorrow morning... sunday morning. I think I'll just leisure row tomorrow or something haha.
Thursday, October 07, 2004
Shit... my training log for this week haven't type out yet. die liao...
Did 6 sets of 12 pullups during training today, yesterdays pullups didn't affect so much, conditioning is good now.... circuits was fun too. Weights was fun too.
Had to talk about that during debrief today with the guys...
I hate being a downer.
Although its for a good reason. Maybe Bugger's better at it due to experience?
Maybe I just don't believe in that sort of course of action.
Once is enough. Let things go better from now on.
Did 6 sets of 12 pullups during training today, yesterdays pullups didn't affect so much, conditioning is good now.... circuits was fun too. Weights was fun too.
Had to talk about that during debrief today with the guys...
I hate being a downer.
Although its for a good reason. Maybe Bugger's better at it due to experience?
Maybe I just don't believe in that sort of course of action.
Once is enough. Let things go better from now on.
Tuesday, October 05, 2004
Monday's performance for Prince Edward went well.
I really like the acoustics there. When the whole lounge went silent during the performance you could hear the very slight reverb.
We had to address him as "your royal highness". Which felt kinda lame at first... like I was in some sort of movie or game or something... but after that was ok lah.
During his walk around the panels I was happily chatting with Joyce and Lyuina, then suddenly I heard my name being echoed out almost in tandem by some staff.... then the crowd immediately parted into two neat sections for me to approach him and everyone STARED.... wtf? Haha couldn't really answer his questions too well... he said that I was really good haha. Can't really remember alot of the stuff he asked... I just kept going... thanks and yeah. XD
Today had another performance for the PE as a guest player. Getting abit numb of the song.... this year's lunch time concert publicity wasn't too good... well. The exco is learning...
Makes me worry abit about the team tho... seeing how things coked up so much after we left.
I really like the acoustics there. When the whole lounge went silent during the performance you could hear the very slight reverb.
We had to address him as "your royal highness". Which felt kinda lame at first... like I was in some sort of movie or game or something... but after that was ok lah.
During his walk around the panels I was happily chatting with Joyce and Lyuina, then suddenly I heard my name being echoed out almost in tandem by some staff.... then the crowd immediately parted into two neat sections for me to approach him and everyone STARED.... wtf? Haha couldn't really answer his questions too well... he said that I was really good haha. Can't really remember alot of the stuff he asked... I just kept going... thanks and yeah. XD
Today had another performance for the PE as a guest player. Getting abit numb of the song.... this year's lunch time concert publicity wasn't too good... well. The exco is learning...
Makes me worry abit about the team tho... seeing how things coked up so much after we left.
Saturday, October 02, 2004
Coughing worse and worse today. Its irritating me abit during running now. If I don't lose focus and regulate breathing I'll confirm KO into a coughing fit.
Did a light warmup before training today called "NAPFA". Haha. Stupid mindef... want me to take again.
Scored full points for every station except 2.4. My hamstrings aching like hell from t3h s3cr3t tr41n1ng, plus cough, plus have to run again during training later = no mood to run liao. So in the end took it easy and did 11mins = 3 points haha.
I think I would have done badly for sit and reach... if jeremy had not taught me the secret method. I, who can not even touch my toes with straight knees unless I hold the stretch for more than 8 seconds, scored 57 for sit and reach. Rank A is like... 51cm. The secret method rocks... and its 100% legit.
I can't imagine doing 30 pullups for napfa when rank A is only... 11. Stopped at 12. I guess its a sort of consideration to those struggling to do even a few... afterall, a couple of years ago I couldn't even do one. I guess I'm not the sort to show off and leave those struggling in the dust? During the 2.4 tried to encourage those I overtook too... haha wtf.
Anyway, need to get the successor and melodies of life ready for monday... school wants me to play for Prince Edward during his visit. Its so weird such an old guy is still being called a "prince" anyway.
Tuesday will be playing for the PE.... haha special guest performance? Shenmue.
Did a light warmup before training today called "NAPFA". Haha. Stupid mindef... want me to take again.
Scored full points for every station except 2.4. My hamstrings aching like hell from t3h s3cr3t tr41n1ng, plus cough, plus have to run again during training later = no mood to run liao. So in the end took it easy and did 11mins = 3 points haha.
I think I would have done badly for sit and reach... if jeremy had not taught me the secret method. I, who can not even touch my toes with straight knees unless I hold the stretch for more than 8 seconds, scored 57 for sit and reach. Rank A is like... 51cm. The secret method rocks... and its 100% legit.
I can't imagine doing 30 pullups for napfa when rank A is only... 11. Stopped at 12. I guess its a sort of consideration to those struggling to do even a few... afterall, a couple of years ago I couldn't even do one. I guess I'm not the sort to show off and leave those struggling in the dust? During the 2.4 tried to encourage those I overtook too... haha wtf.
Anyway, need to get the successor and melodies of life ready for monday... school wants me to play for Prince Edward during his visit. Its so weird such an old guy is still being called a "prince" anyway.
Tuesday will be playing for the PE.... haha special guest performance? Shenmue.
Friday, October 01, 2004
Wednesday, September 29, 2004
Whew... alots been happening this week...
The infection has cleared out of my lungs hoorah.
But now have a throat infection.
And the cough is worse.
But can still manage. Hell, managed to do circuit today with relative breathing ease. I notice during training I don't feel like coughing, but relaxing or standing doing nothing then it comes.
Upon further analysis my conclusion is that when I am exerting myself and breathing heavily the pressure of air entering and exiting is relatively higher. In contrast to the low pressure which would allow by throat to get irritated.
I can't believe I left my damn PT at home today! Had to use my super secret emergency backup auxilliary secondary singlet which is.... damn tight. And borrowed delvin's shorts.. which I had to change out of during weights for fear of ripping them whilst doing squats.
Piang....
I'm going to plant more super secret emergency backup auxilliary secondary PT in my secret place on friday just in case.
Oh we did circuit today. Haha fun!
Bugger complained about my situps, then he also never come up fully bwahahahaha. :X
Then alot of the guys studies are in turmoil.... I've never seen such a large majority of the guys having problems with studies. So, good news is, ITS A NEW LANDMARK!! Bad news is, well, thats just not healthy.
Time management and discipline needs to be checked I guess. But, have faith that they'll sort it out. Plus its a little known fact that alot of lecturers/teachers like to give SHOCK therapy to their students to fail on a large majority and WAKE UP THEIR IDEA so that they do better for the examinations.
Well, on tuesday after rowing got a call.
The school wants me to play for Prince Edward during his visit next monday. Err... whats such an old guy still doing as a "prince"? Haiz....
Picked "The Successor" and "Melodies of Life".
Its amazing how my style has evolved somewhat since year one. I played "The Successor" For my very first concert in my first year. Yimei also asked if I could play for the piano ensemble concert next tuesday. So I guess I might as well play those too as well.
The infection has cleared out of my lungs hoorah.
But now have a throat infection.
And the cough is worse.
But can still manage. Hell, managed to do circuit today with relative breathing ease. I notice during training I don't feel like coughing, but relaxing or standing doing nothing then it comes.
Upon further analysis my conclusion is that when I am exerting myself and breathing heavily the pressure of air entering and exiting is relatively higher. In contrast to the low pressure which would allow by throat to get irritated.
I can't believe I left my damn PT at home today! Had to use my super secret emergency backup auxilliary secondary singlet which is.... damn tight. And borrowed delvin's shorts.. which I had to change out of during weights for fear of ripping them whilst doing squats.
Piang....
I'm going to plant more super secret emergency backup auxilliary secondary PT in my secret place on friday just in case.
Oh we did circuit today. Haha fun!
Bugger complained about my situps, then he also never come up fully bwahahahaha. :X
Then alot of the guys studies are in turmoil.... I've never seen such a large majority of the guys having problems with studies. So, good news is, ITS A NEW LANDMARK!! Bad news is, well, thats just not healthy.
Time management and discipline needs to be checked I guess. But, have faith that they'll sort it out. Plus its a little known fact that alot of lecturers/teachers like to give SHOCK therapy to their students to fail on a large majority and WAKE UP THEIR IDEA so that they do better for the examinations.
Well, on tuesday after rowing got a call.
The school wants me to play for Prince Edward during his visit next monday. Err... whats such an old guy still doing as a "prince"? Haiz....
Picked "The Successor" and "Melodies of Life".
Its amazing how my style has evolved somewhat since year one. I played "The Successor" For my very first concert in my first year. Yimei also asked if I could play for the piano ensemble concert next tuesday. So I guess I might as well play those too as well.
Sunday, September 26, 2004
This entry will be abit messed up because I'm not looking at the screen right now to type this.
Stupid monitor went crazy on friday.... really retarded.... the resolution constantly changes everytime something new ppears on screen.
Right now its fricking blur and making me dizzy just to look at it. I suppose its about time the damned thing went bust anyway, its ancient and has been through extreme conditioning testing thanks to me.....
So anyway this minor lung infection is more or less ok.... it just gets irritated for no reason every now and then. I suppose the whole pot of herbal soup which mom cokoed for me on fri helped somewhat.... But I wonder if drinking the whole pot is overdoing it....
I rock, I think I've made only a few typing mistakes so far without looking at the screen. Met up with the dwarf and bilbo yesterday. We went to watch resident evil: apocalypse. Even though I was having a headache and was coughing. Then the dwarf was coughing worse haha. Poor dwarf.
RE: Apocalypse rocks! It was nice seeing Jill in her trademark blue tube top, and alice is really cool. Only thing is those poor girls look like they haven't eaten anything in days.... So sad how things turned out with Max and Nemisis.
Went to bishan gym before that with the dwarf. His gym is still very scary.. but still can qie haha.
Training today was ok, viola! The coughing didn't act up too badly during training! Hahaha only when I got home. doh.
Now I wonder if I should continue playing star ocean on this POS monitor and kill my eyes or find something else to do.
Anyway, tomorrow morning marks the start of my new secret training programme hahaha.
Woooo scaaary....
Stupid monitor went crazy on friday.... really retarded.... the resolution constantly changes everytime something new ppears on screen.
Right now its fricking blur and making me dizzy just to look at it. I suppose its about time the damned thing went bust anyway, its ancient and has been through extreme conditioning testing thanks to me.....
So anyway this minor lung infection is more or less ok.... it just gets irritated for no reason every now and then. I suppose the whole pot of herbal soup which mom cokoed for me on fri helped somewhat.... But I wonder if drinking the whole pot is overdoing it....
I rock, I think I've made only a few typing mistakes so far without looking at the screen. Met up with the dwarf and bilbo yesterday. We went to watch resident evil: apocalypse. Even though I was having a headache and was coughing. Then the dwarf was coughing worse haha. Poor dwarf.
RE: Apocalypse rocks! It was nice seeing Jill in her trademark blue tube top, and alice is really cool. Only thing is those poor girls look like they haven't eaten anything in days.... So sad how things turned out with Max and Nemisis.
Went to bishan gym before that with the dwarf. His gym is still very scary.. but still can qie haha.
Training today was ok, viola! The coughing didn't act up too badly during training! Hahaha only when I got home. doh.
Now I wonder if I should continue playing star ocean on this POS monitor and kill my eyes or find something else to do.
Anyway, tomorrow morning marks the start of my new secret training programme hahaha.
Woooo scaaary....
Thursday, September 23, 2004
Wednesday, September 22, 2004
Star ocean rocks.
Rowed 13km yesterday....
And....
I CAN PLAY CHINESE!!! hahahaha
http://www.reubenkee.com/music/singles/A%20Hero%20Enters.mp3
Rowed 13km yesterday....
And....
I CAN PLAY CHINESE!!! hahahaha
http://www.reubenkee.com/music/singles/A%20Hero%20Enters.mp3
Tuesday, September 21, 2004
Star Ocean is awesome so far. Its been so long since I've actually been able to get involved in an rpg. Battles are awesome simply due to the fact that moving and attacking are completely simultaneous, which is something new that tri-ace introduced to the first few rpgs it produced and it works really well.
Not like almost every other rpg since Final Fantasy I which uses turn based monotonous pacing.
Went to school to do weights, then went to watch Kitaro live.
Saw the Prime Minister and his wife during the interlude walking over and queing up to buy the dvd/programme booklet with the body guards.
Had such a weird thought....
3 Body guards close to the PM, another 2 ghosting somewhere from the exterior, 2 policemen guarding the west exit, 3 policemen on patrol... sensed another body guard but didn't manage to see... probably trailing them.
If an assasination attempt were made the culprit could have easily, attempted it right there and made for the east exit which was unguarded. Or, roped down from the centre balcony drop.
Anyway Kitaro plays with... such emotion.... its as if it is almost religious to him, or probably some listeners. HIS BAND is pretty awesome. The female violinist wore a outfit, and the female keyboardist.... but the female percussionist... omgomgomg.... she wore this black dress.... exposing her upper chest and shoulders.... it was so gu niang.... like what gu niangs wear to party's and the only exertive action they would do is take a drink from a pricey glass.
BUT when she started to WACK the timpanis!!!
Holy shit.
I have never ever seen a GUY hit the timpanis and xylophones at that speed and force, and the crescendos.... all in that little dress... and with such grace...
Anyway what I've learnt today is that it must feel damn good to WACK a timpani.
yeah.
Not like almost every other rpg since Final Fantasy I which uses turn based monotonous pacing.
Went to school to do weights, then went to watch Kitaro live.
Saw the Prime Minister and his wife during the interlude walking over and queing up to buy the dvd/programme booklet with the body guards.
Had such a weird thought....
3 Body guards close to the PM, another 2 ghosting somewhere from the exterior, 2 policemen guarding the west exit, 3 policemen on patrol... sensed another body guard but didn't manage to see... probably trailing them.
If an assasination attempt were made the culprit could have easily, attempted it right there and made for the east exit which was unguarded. Or, roped down from the centre balcony drop.
Anyway Kitaro plays with... such emotion.... its as if it is almost religious to him, or probably some listeners. HIS BAND is pretty awesome. The female violinist wore a outfit, and the female keyboardist.... but the female percussionist... omgomgomg.... she wore this black dress.... exposing her upper chest and shoulders.... it was so gu niang.... like what gu niangs wear to party's and the only exertive action they would do is take a drink from a pricey glass.
BUT when she started to WACK the timpanis!!!
Holy shit.
I have never ever seen a GUY hit the timpanis and xylophones at that speed and force, and the crescendos.... all in that little dress... and with such grace...
Anyway what I've learnt today is that it must feel damn good to WACK a timpani.
yeah.
Sunday, September 19, 2004
Mom's been too free this morning....
and she's been in my room.........
and everything is disgustingly neat and tidy now......
and I can't find my stuff ;_;
Sun was bloody hot today during training ah. Poor Mike was stoning throughout rowing. I wonder what made him drag himself down after the drinking session when the rest of them were mia.
Finally bought star ocean: till the end of time.
The rest of today will be devoted to the appreciation of square enix's masterpiece.
and she's been in my room.........
and everything is disgustingly neat and tidy now......
and I can't find my stuff ;_;
Sun was bloody hot today during training ah. Poor Mike was stoning throughout rowing. I wonder what made him drag himself down after the drinking session when the rest of them were mia.
Finally bought star ocean: till the end of time.
The rest of today will be devoted to the appreciation of square enix's masterpiece.
Saturday, September 18, 2004
Went to watch The great challenge just now with the alumni gang....
All I can say after watching that show is.... wtf?
Everyone's bouncing the hell everywhere and falling here and there but landing lightly....
Some parts of the plot are just really lame....
Don't feel like logging much nowadays. I suppose its childish to expect everyone to behave in a proper manner or understand things from another perspective.
Ran 5km at midnight on friday. Now I know why the heck my right shin hurt when I ran along the canal last time....
The bloody canal is tilted at a 10 degree angle!!!! That means that if you are running to bishan park, the ground on your right will be higher than the ground on your left.
Wth? Its supposed to be a favourite running spot also loh.... whatever it is, I'm not running along there again.
All I can say after watching that show is.... wtf?
Everyone's bouncing the hell everywhere and falling here and there but landing lightly....
Some parts of the plot are just really lame....
Don't feel like logging much nowadays. I suppose its childish to expect everyone to behave in a proper manner or understand things from another perspective.
Ran 5km at midnight on friday. Now I know why the heck my right shin hurt when I ran along the canal last time....
The bloody canal is tilted at a 10 degree angle!!!! That means that if you are running to bishan park, the ground on your right will be higher than the ground on your left.
Wth? Its supposed to be a favourite running spot also loh.... whatever it is, I'm not running along there again.
Friday, September 17, 2004
Learning to multitask....
Sometimes I wonder if I can really cover all bases.
Trying to come up with ways to add some fun into training, or help coordination, while maintaining the standard. Then pulling the energy together to execute.
Trying to motivate and encourage. Trying to be a friend.
Trying to make peace between groups.
But then I found out that some of them aren't getting along. And some of them don't click and feel left out. And some of them are so unobservant/insensitive that they don't know that they ostracize, and some of them do not see the others who are just like them.
And then bugger won't reply sms or email. But found out he's on mc doh.
And then I find out some people have reservations for the next exco addition. And i found out that some people actually look down on other people to such an extent.
Why do I even bother trying to make things right. When they don't respect each other. When they think that they are better. When they do not respect this team.
What shortcoming is blinding them and drowning out their own self awareness and is making them afraid to show humility.
I REALLY want to know.
Sometimes I wonder if I can really cover all bases.
Trying to come up with ways to add some fun into training, or help coordination, while maintaining the standard. Then pulling the energy together to execute.
Trying to motivate and encourage. Trying to be a friend.
Trying to make peace between groups.
But then I found out that some of them aren't getting along. And some of them don't click and feel left out. And some of them are so unobservant/insensitive that they don't know that they ostracize, and some of them do not see the others who are just like them.
And then bugger won't reply sms or email. But found out he's on mc doh.
And then I find out some people have reservations for the next exco addition. And i found out that some people actually look down on other people to such an extent.
Why do I even bother trying to make things right. When they don't respect each other. When they think that they are better. When they do not respect this team.
What shortcoming is blinding them and drowning out their own self awareness and is making them afraid to show humility.
I REALLY want to know.
Monday, September 13, 2004
I'm about ready to get back to doing some creative work after a nice break to UO.
Had "fun" training today. Yeap, quite fun lah haha, did circuit and paddle drills. The guys came up with yet another cheer about me.... dunno if I should be glad or lay the smackdown on them haha.
Went to yoshinoya for dinner after that with them haha. MMmmmm........
The shoes really are awesome, fascilitates for better running form somehow.
Saw Jackson today. I guess a part of me still resents him for that race. But in the end it is through other people's weaknesses, or strengths that the observer learns from. Nevertheless it was still nice to see him and Jem.
Had "fun" training today. Yeap, quite fun lah haha, did circuit and paddle drills. The guys came up with yet another cheer about me.... dunno if I should be glad or lay the smackdown on them haha.
Went to yoshinoya for dinner after that with them haha. MMmmmm........
The shoes really are awesome, fascilitates for better running form somehow.
Saw Jackson today. I guess a part of me still resents him for that race. But in the end it is through other people's weaknesses, or strengths that the observer learns from. Nevertheless it was still nice to see him and Jem.
I find 3d games kinda put me off a little....
Hate it when companies go for the "in" thing. 2D graphics can rock too, you know?
Saturday:
Wake up, play Ultima online, chat, eat, nap, play, eat sleep.
Vunderbar!
Today was a pretty tiring day.
Tried to skip breakfast in the morning and oh boy, shouldn't have done that...
Firstly during canoeing went to chase dragonboats again, and one ntu k1 tried to chase me haha. Damn funny lah that guy, must pace with him again soon.
Then felt really drained, knew I'd be in trouble during dragonboat later so I chugged down my endurox right before dragonboat.
And woohoo, hit a sugar wall soon after. Actually it didn't help, because it may help to recover, but doesn't give much energy at all.
So training today was extra challenging haha.
Right now i just feel like going to my bed, hugging my pillow, taking a deep breath in and slowly letting it out....
Hate it when companies go for the "in" thing. 2D graphics can rock too, you know?
Saturday:
Wake up, play Ultima online, chat, eat, nap, play, eat sleep.
Vunderbar!
Today was a pretty tiring day.
Tried to skip breakfast in the morning and oh boy, shouldn't have done that...
Firstly during canoeing went to chase dragonboats again, and one ntu k1 tried to chase me haha. Damn funny lah that guy, must pace with him again soon.
Then felt really drained, knew I'd be in trouble during dragonboat later so I chugged down my endurox right before dragonboat.
And woohoo, hit a sugar wall soon after. Actually it didn't help, because it may help to recover, but doesn't give much energy at all.
So training today was extra challenging haha.
Right now i just feel like going to my bed, hugging my pillow, taking a deep breath in and slowly letting it out....
Saturday, September 11, 2004
Wore Mr Bowerman's "state of the art" running shoes today. Supposedly the "best running shoes" on the market now, but salespersons like to bs alot haha.
This co-founder of Nike is supposedly some genious coach or something.. but haha I've never wore anything like this before.
Firstly, due to the front breathable mesh my feet felt damn cold when I was walking around... until I got stomache ache haha wtf? Or maybe it was the fish...
This card has alot of interesting stuff... lemme log this down:
1. Breathable mesh and synthetic leather overlays to enhance support and flexibility with internal midfoot radial band quarter straps for extra midfoot support.
2. Anatomically molded sockliner for footbed support.
3. Blow-molded heel Air-Sole and flexible forefoot Air-Sole units for optimal cushioning plus softer Phylon in the forefoot and Poron in the heel above the Air-Sole units for additinoal cushioning.
4. Dual density polyurethane heel for added support and Phylon forefoot contributes to overall cushioning and flexibility.
5. TPU shank for midfoot rigidity and support.
6. BRS1000 carbon rubber in the heel for durability. Duralon rubber with flex grooves in the forefoot to encourage a smooth, more natural footstrike motion.
Poron is a registered trademark of Rogers Corporation.
Have you ever come across a shoe with that much crap behind it? If 10% of it was true I'm in good hands already hahaha. I can't believe I typed all that out this is lame...
This co-founder of Nike is supposedly some genious coach or something.. but haha I've never wore anything like this before.
Firstly, due to the front breathable mesh my feet felt damn cold when I was walking around... until I got stomache ache haha wtf? Or maybe it was the fish...
This card has alot of interesting stuff... lemme log this down:
1. Breathable mesh and synthetic leather overlays to enhance support and flexibility with internal midfoot radial band quarter straps for extra midfoot support.
2. Anatomically molded sockliner for footbed support.
3. Blow-molded heel Air-Sole and flexible forefoot Air-Sole units for optimal cushioning plus softer Phylon in the forefoot and Poron in the heel above the Air-Sole units for additinoal cushioning.
4. Dual density polyurethane heel for added support and Phylon forefoot contributes to overall cushioning and flexibility.
5. TPU shank for midfoot rigidity and support.
6. BRS1000 carbon rubber in the heel for durability. Duralon rubber with flex grooves in the forefoot to encourage a smooth, more natural footstrike motion.
Poron is a registered trademark of Rogers Corporation.
Have you ever come across a shoe with that much crap behind it? If 10% of it was true I'm in good hands already hahaha. I can't believe I typed all that out this is lame...
Friday, September 10, 2004
Wore Mr Bowerman's "state of the art" running shoes today. Supposedly the "best running shoes" on the market now, but salespersons like to bs alot haha.
This co-founder of Nike is supposedly some genious coach or something.. but haha I've never wore anything like this before.
Firstly, due to the front breathable mesh my feet felt damn cold when I was walking around... until I got stomache ache haha wtf? Or maybe it was the fish...
This card has alot of interesting stuff... lemme log this down:
1. Breathable mesh and synthetic leather overlays to enhance support and flexibility with internal midfoot radial band quarter straps for extra midfoot support.
2. Anatomically molded sockliner for footbed support.
3. Blow-molded heel Air-Sole and flexible forefoot Air-Sole units for optimal cushioning plus softer Phylon in the forefoot and Poron in the heel above the Air-Sole units for additinoal cushioning.
4. Dual density polyurethane heel for added support and Phylon forefoot contributes to overall cushioning and flexibility.
5. TPU shank for midfoot rigidity and support.
6. BRS1000 carbon rubber in the heel for durability. Duralon rubber with flex grooves in the forefoot to encourage a smooth, more natural footstrike motion.
Poron is a registered trademark of Rogers Corporation.
Have you ever come across a shoe with that much crap behind it? If 10% of it was true I'm in good hands already hahaha. I can't believe I typed all that out this is lame...
This co-founder of Nike is supposedly some genious coach or something.. but haha I've never wore anything like this before.
Firstly, due to the front breathable mesh my feet felt damn cold when I was walking around... until I got stomache ache haha wtf? Or maybe it was the fish...
This card has alot of interesting stuff... lemme log this down:
1. Breathable mesh and synthetic leather overlays to enhance support and flexibility with internal midfoot radial band quarter straps for extra midfoot support.
2. Anatomically molded sockliner for footbed support.
3. Blow-molded heel Air-Sole and flexible forefoot Air-Sole units for optimal cushioning plus softer Phylon in the forefoot and Poron in the heel above the Air-Sole units for additinoal cushioning.
4. Dual density polyurethane heel for added support and Phylon forefoot contributes to overall cushioning and flexibility.
5. TPU shank for midfoot rigidity and support.
6. BRS1000 carbon rubber in the heel for durability. Duralon rubber with flex grooves in the forefoot to encourage a smooth, more natural footstrike motion.
Poron is a registered trademark of Rogers Corporation.
Have you ever come across a shoe with that much crap behind it? If 10% of it was true I'm in good hands already hahaha. I can't believe I typed all that out this is lame...
Eargh... at last.
http://www.reubenkee.com/music/singles/Tides%20That%20Bind.mp3
Now to see what the client says about this.
http://www.reubenkee.com/music/singles/Tides%20That%20Bind.mp3
Now to see what the client says about this.
Wednesday, September 08, 2004
Hohohoh Kimchi tastes best when its past the expiration date!
Finished the bottle liao... shit, no more. 1am, still wide awake.
I really need to kick myself the next time I want to take an afternoon nap... I should play Suikoden.... always fall asleep within 20 minutes of playing that game for some reason.
Finished the bottle liao... shit, no more. 1am, still wide awake.
I really need to kick myself the next time I want to take an afternoon nap... I should play Suikoden.... always fall asleep within 20 minutes of playing that game for some reason.
Tuesday, September 07, 2004
Musical block....
I find that when I look at a script and try to think of music to accentuate the desired moods I get stumped.... very often. Or come up with shitty crappy ideas.
Haiz.... mind wrecking... trying to come up with the theme sequence for the GCC, which is supposed to be some big event in singapore... stress.... Finally decided on a melody, reusing reminiscence, because it sounds empowering, which is what the whole trailer is about, actually.
Went to school to train with Yixue, did 10 sets of 10 pullups + 20 situps + 10 jack-knives, for a nice 100 pullups, 200 situps and 100 jack-knives. Supported him for the last 3-4 sets only.
Then did weights.
The bugger complained at first haha, saying I'm crazy making us do stuff tougher than NJ's training. But can see he's trying harder than last time for some reason.... I wonder why.
After training he went to shower, then I saw the tag, heh. I miss the days when I was trying to catch up with Hong during extra training somehow. I remember the day that we decided to head down to beach road to look for the tag and chain... we thought it was pretty cool haha. Searched all over beach road and golden mile complex and got countless redirects from building to building to get that special smooth edged rectangle shape, not the circular one the SAF gives out. We wanted to get the tags to show the team, then maybe we all would get it.
I wonder why the plan wasn't carried out fully in the end. Maybe the new exco wasn't so on about the sort of thing. But we still wore it everyday back then, hahaha.
Now that he's not around anymore there's no point wearing it actually, I just keep it around close. He still checks in on occasionally, a couple of weeks back he gave me some books to make sure I'm leading our team right, haha. Si dunbai.
I find that when I look at a script and try to think of music to accentuate the desired moods I get stumped.... very often. Or come up with shitty crappy ideas.
Haiz.... mind wrecking... trying to come up with the theme sequence for the GCC, which is supposed to be some big event in singapore... stress.... Finally decided on a melody, reusing reminiscence, because it sounds empowering, which is what the whole trailer is about, actually.
Went to school to train with Yixue, did 10 sets of 10 pullups + 20 situps + 10 jack-knives, for a nice 100 pullups, 200 situps and 100 jack-knives. Supported him for the last 3-4 sets only.
Then did weights.
The bugger complained at first haha, saying I'm crazy making us do stuff tougher than NJ's training. But can see he's trying harder than last time for some reason.... I wonder why.
After training he went to shower, then I saw the tag, heh. I miss the days when I was trying to catch up with Hong during extra training somehow. I remember the day that we decided to head down to beach road to look for the tag and chain... we thought it was pretty cool haha. Searched all over beach road and golden mile complex and got countless redirects from building to building to get that special smooth edged rectangle shape, not the circular one the SAF gives out. We wanted to get the tags to show the team, then maybe we all would get it.
I wonder why the plan wasn't carried out fully in the end. Maybe the new exco wasn't so on about the sort of thing. But we still wore it everyday back then, hahaha.
Now that he's not around anymore there's no point wearing it actually, I just keep it around close. He still checks in on occasionally, a couple of weeks back he gave me some books to make sure I'm leading our team right, haha. Si dunbai.
Sunday, September 05, 2004
Went rowing in the morning today, paced around with a couple of boats.
My stroke has changed drastically over the past few weeks. I suppose once the stress of having to train for nationals was alleviated I've found more freedom to take my time and work on my technique.
Sensei said it improved too, will be entering the power phase soon, whew... that's the hardest, but still fun haha.
Had DB training after that... guys response was alot better today. Focus improving, still need to work on the stroke though.
Went to GMEC for lunch, alot of us eating more healthily after the camp hahahahaha. Thomas jr still went and ate laksa though, doh!
Went home and slacked around till we went to uncle ron's place for dinner.
BBQ'd steak. Haha, damn unhealthy... but nice.
In future, food gatherings at my house will consist of a large pot of soup instead of a fire pit, whereby people could dump their delicious chicken/fish slices, fishballs and sausages in. The food would then not burn, and fill with many cancer causing agents, instead it will be nicely boiled or steamed perfectly, adding to the wonderful soup which we would partake in later.
Speaking of beef, the family ate at some supposedly fine dining western place or something the other day. My god! The beef and salmon portions were so friggin tiny!
And they say such culinary habits originated from the westerners!? I thought that they ate alot! Only old men and women would get full on something like that...
Maybe thats why only really rich people go for stuff like that? And actually order.... several main courses, like a course of chicken, then beef, then salmon. Ahhh that would be somewhat filling.
My stroke has changed drastically over the past few weeks. I suppose once the stress of having to train for nationals was alleviated I've found more freedom to take my time and work on my technique.
Sensei said it improved too, will be entering the power phase soon, whew... that's the hardest, but still fun haha.
Had DB training after that... guys response was alot better today. Focus improving, still need to work on the stroke though.
Went to GMEC for lunch, alot of us eating more healthily after the camp hahahahaha. Thomas jr still went and ate laksa though, doh!
Went home and slacked around till we went to uncle ron's place for dinner.
BBQ'd steak. Haha, damn unhealthy... but nice.
In future, food gatherings at my house will consist of a large pot of soup instead of a fire pit, whereby people could dump their delicious chicken/fish slices, fishballs and sausages in. The food would then not burn, and fill with many cancer causing agents, instead it will be nicely boiled or steamed perfectly, adding to the wonderful soup which we would partake in later.
Speaking of beef, the family ate at some supposedly fine dining western place or something the other day. My god! The beef and salmon portions were so friggin tiny!
And they say such culinary habits originated from the westerners!? I thought that they ate alot! Only old men and women would get full on something like that...
Maybe thats why only really rich people go for stuff like that? And actually order.... several main courses, like a course of chicken, then beef, then salmon. Ahhh that would be somewhat filling.
Saturday, September 04, 2004
Ling thought I was feeling sad... haha.
I don't know when was the last time I ever confided or shared any problems with anyone. Perhaps somewhere along the line I've seen to many people telling of their problems or thoughts, but not doing a damned thing about it.
If there's a problem, they feel bad at first, then they tell someone about it, hooray, they feel better. But guess what? The problem is still there. Or even better, they try to console themselves, whether through "religious" acceptance or simply classifying themselves to be what they are.
So yeah, I've learnt to think about things myself. The best person who knows you, is you, afterall. To see things in different perspectives, to decide on what is the best course of action to take. Sometimes its hard, sometimes its gotten so easy that an analysis of the situation is carried out by the subconscious, and only the solution presented to the whole mind.
Went down to kallang late today.... Thought that samantha would be using Cougar, so I'd take over late, in the end she had a sore throat and didn't go down doh...
Managed to do some data collection on the other teams too. Very interesting...
I've got high hopes for that team...
In a way their situation is very similar to ours. So a part of my hope for us also goes out to that team.
I don't know when was the last time I ever confided or shared any problems with anyone. Perhaps somewhere along the line I've seen to many people telling of their problems or thoughts, but not doing a damned thing about it.
If there's a problem, they feel bad at first, then they tell someone about it, hooray, they feel better. But guess what? The problem is still there. Or even better, they try to console themselves, whether through "religious" acceptance or simply classifying themselves to be what they are.
So yeah, I've learnt to think about things myself. The best person who knows you, is you, afterall. To see things in different perspectives, to decide on what is the best course of action to take. Sometimes its hard, sometimes its gotten so easy that an analysis of the situation is carried out by the subconscious, and only the solution presented to the whole mind.
Went down to kallang late today.... Thought that samantha would be using Cougar, so I'd take over late, in the end she had a sore throat and didn't go down doh...
Managed to do some data collection on the other teams too. Very interesting...
I've got high hopes for that team...
In a way their situation is very similar to ours. So a part of my hope for us also goes out to that team.
Friday, September 03, 2004
Wednesday and thursday was the first time I had attempted to run a camp with Jo. The time spent planning with the exco paid off, although some improvisation had to be made.
Well, I think we all got to know each other a little better. Perhaps the camp gave me some new insights as to what it means to be where I am too. One would think that leading a team would be all about courage, strength, fire, and all the heroic nonsense they would make you believe on tv...
But I've felt worry, when I see them unable to keep a clear mind.
And I've felt pain, when they come up and tell me that they feel ostracized from the group, when they feel like they don't belong, and don't fit in.
Its sad that we need to feel accepted. Even if sometimes we need to accept ourselves first.
Its sad that those in their own groups do not see the pain in that individual who is looking at them.
Perhaps I understand how they feel, in more ways than one. I had always flown solo, I have never confided my worries or thoughts to anyone, ever since secondary school. If Hong hadn't decided to guide me and train me during my second year, perhaps I would have left? Ahhh but I remember now. I stayed because I wanted to beat them. But yet he helped me. We're all in this team for our own reasons. They change over time. Sometimes you want to be with other people, sometimes you just want to beat them and show that you're better. Sometimes you wish they'd just work as a team.
And seeing him that day, that over-competitiveness... it looked oh so familiar. I remember the times that I had played a game and didn't think of anything else except to win. Except to get that point. It tore me up inside when I lost. I felt angry, I felt hate. But now I wonder if I had actually grown up and became a more thoughtful player, or did I let my fighting spirit die down somewhat inside of me.
The heart and mind are forever in conflict. When the heart takes too much lead, we become reckless, we become a danger to ourselves and others. When the mind takes too much lead, we become complacent, we second guess ourselves and others. Once again I am reminded that everything requires a balance, to concentrate and yield that power. To give if focus and direction.
I knew once the decision was made, that I would not be able to train as often as I wanted in the k1 to make it for that goal. Sometimes I dare not think if it was worth it or not.
But when they are getting along, it eases my heart a little.
Monday, August 30, 2004
Well, this weekend has been a wild ride.
First, on sat morning, was the osim triathlon. Did a mini sprint relay team event with Thomas and Daryl.
200m swim sprint followed immediately by 200m running sprint was.... much more than I had anticipated. Coming up from the beach, and running through the shower station, my legs already were about to give way... plus everything was blurry because I wore my goggles super tight during the swim in the sea to prevent sea water from getting trapped inside and me to have a smashing good time.
Then had to run up the damned slope... across the bridge and back down... hit the field, saw Thomas yelling and clapping... passed the chip to Daryl and collapsed onto the grass.
On retrospect the feeling that came over me right after that was damn fun! But at that moment I felt like I was going to die and my legs were going to explode. Couldn't even stand up till about 5 minutes of recovery and breathe controlling.
So in the end we got a silver medal. Kinda funny how I train like hell for my k1 and only get into the top 10 for nationals, yet get a silver for something we just chiong for.
Went home and rested for the performance in the evening.
Let the makeup artists do my hair.... hahaha. Pretty cool... and I didn't get a headache XD
The performance went pretty well... had to wait awhile for the applause and cheers to quiet abit so that the SOOPA SLOW SOFT TOUCHING AND EMOTIONAL intro could be heard. hahas.
Oh yeah my godamn fly wouldn't work.... so had to resort to masking tape to tape the inside up.... and right before our scene the damned fly was open with the masking tape staring up at me. Lucky I remembered Karen reminding me to check my fly every now and then or else what a wonderful memory that would have been.... whew.
Then this morning sent sis off to changi.
There's so many places I want to eat around there now!!!! Shit, hungry again.
First, on sat morning, was the osim triathlon. Did a mini sprint relay team event with Thomas and Daryl.
200m swim sprint followed immediately by 200m running sprint was.... much more than I had anticipated. Coming up from the beach, and running through the shower station, my legs already were about to give way... plus everything was blurry because I wore my goggles super tight during the swim in the sea to prevent sea water from getting trapped inside and me to have a smashing good time.
Then had to run up the damned slope... across the bridge and back down... hit the field, saw Thomas yelling and clapping... passed the chip to Daryl and collapsed onto the grass.
On retrospect the feeling that came over me right after that was damn fun! But at that moment I felt like I was going to die and my legs were going to explode. Couldn't even stand up till about 5 minutes of recovery and breathe controlling.
So in the end we got a silver medal. Kinda funny how I train like hell for my k1 and only get into the top 10 for nationals, yet get a silver for something we just chiong for.
Went home and rested for the performance in the evening.
Let the makeup artists do my hair.... hahaha. Pretty cool... and I didn't get a headache XD
The performance went pretty well... had to wait awhile for the applause and cheers to quiet abit so that the SOOPA SLOW SOFT TOUCHING AND EMOTIONAL intro could be heard. hahas.
Oh yeah my godamn fly wouldn't work.... so had to resort to masking tape to tape the inside up.... and right before our scene the damned fly was open with the masking tape staring up at me. Lucky I remembered Karen reminding me to check my fly every now and then or else what a wonderful memory that would have been.... whew.
Then this morning sent sis off to changi.
There's so many places I want to eat around there now!!!! Shit, hungry again.
Friday, August 27, 2004
Well... I knew I would be cutting it very close by going to training right before today's performance, but haha almost didn't make it ah...
Running like mad then 150 pushups, then chiong to auditorium, change and sit at the piano. Then felt damn lightheaded haha.
Luckily I managed to subside it 10 minutes before the scene.
Playing went well I guess, tried a funny stunt at the end and I guess it worked too.
Tired, triathlon tomorrow then another show... >_<
Running like mad then 150 pushups, then chiong to auditorium, change and sit at the piano. Then felt damn lightheaded haha.
Luckily I managed to subside it 10 minutes before the scene.
Playing went well I guess, tried a funny stunt at the end and I guess it worked too.
Tired, triathlon tomorrow then another show... >_<
Sunday, August 22, 2004
Friday's training went well. Hoorah, leg didn't act up.
Did a little bonus to training... see how the guys handled it....
They're tough :)
Sat presentation. That's the end of that. I'm a free man now. Skipped rehearsal because I had a headache and worked on heart of strength. yay.
Did k1 in the morning. Sensei let me use Jaguar. Err.... thrillingly light and unstable. But still fast.
Then db training. Wah.... melvin got smelly mouth hahaah, but he's trying lah.
Went to watch avp with some of the guys after that.
Predator's 360 staff thrust is hella cool. I wanna do that! :)
But... nothing to stab :(
Now quite tired... but manager called... some audition... sians......
o well
Did a little bonus to training... see how the guys handled it....
They're tough :)
Sat presentation. That's the end of that. I'm a free man now. Skipped rehearsal because I had a headache and worked on heart of strength. yay.
Did k1 in the morning. Sensei let me use Jaguar. Err.... thrillingly light and unstable. But still fast.
Then db training. Wah.... melvin got smelly mouth hahaah, but he's trying lah.
Went to watch avp with some of the guys after that.
Predator's 360 staff thrust is hella cool. I wanna do that! :)
But... nothing to stab :(
Now quite tired... but manager called... some audition... sians......
o well
Saturday, August 21, 2004
Its finished!
My symphony of triumph.
http://www.reubenkee.com/music/singles/Heart%20Of%20Strength.mp3
My symphony of triumph.
http://www.reubenkee.com/music/singles/Heart%20Of%20Strength.mp3
Thursday, August 19, 2004
Hahaha yes! I spent the whole morning slacking and playing spiderman 2!!!!!!!!
HAHAHAHAHAHA!
I'm convinced that if I really was spiderman, and I couldn't "magically" alter my X and Z accelerations, I'd spend most of my time peeling myself off walls or the ground.
Then again, I'd have faster reflexes so I could estimate each swing better though...
Meeting Yixue and Junwen to row later. Fun fun fun!
Ben not going training tomorrow... which means, need to lead running.
I hope these damned legs are better by tomorrow. I really should take chan or cid up on that offer for a massage >_< trigger points suck.
Anyway, I'll take the Xbakuretsu just in case... hahahaah.
HAHAHAHAHAHA!
I'm convinced that if I really was spiderman, and I couldn't "magically" alter my X and Z accelerations, I'd spend most of my time peeling myself off walls or the ground.
Then again, I'd have faster reflexes so I could estimate each swing better though...
Meeting Yixue and Junwen to row later. Fun fun fun!
Ben not going training tomorrow... which means, need to lead running.
I hope these damned legs are better by tomorrow. I really should take chan or cid up on that offer for a massage >_< trigger points suck.
Anyway, I'll take the Xbakuretsu just in case... hahahaah.
And behold, yet another senseless fill-em-outers.
10 OF YOUR CLOSEST FRIENDS (in any order)
Cougar
Jaguar
My Brasca IV
handphone
pullup bar
Piano
pc
ps2
barbells
food.
9 THINGS THAT U REALLY WANT RIGHT NOW
Move faster in the k1
Run faster
Do more pullups
Do more situps
Do heavier weights
Compose music faster
Work on MUGEN faster
Relax
Sleep. No need for money haha
8 IMPORTANT THINGS IN YOUR BAG
Singlet
Shorts
underwear
Goggles
Towel
Shaker
handphone
wallet.
7 OF YOUR FAVORITE FOOD
Tom yum soup
Salted vege soup
Chicken Ginseng soup
Chilli kang kong
Prata
Nasi Briyani
YOSHINOYA!
6 OF YOUR FAVE MOVIES
Matrix
Matrix reloaded
Matrix revolutios
Star wars EP 1
Star wars EP 2
Star wars EP 5
5 THINGS IN YOUR ROOM
Dumbell
Piano
PC
PS2
Pillow
4 THINGS YOU ATE/DRINK TODAY
Rice
Chicken
Fish
100 plus
3 THINGS YOU COULDN'T LIVE WITHOUT
Food
Water
Air
2 THINGS YOU USUALLY READ
"Welcome to windows"
"Now loading data"
1 PERSON YOU CANT LIVE WITHOUT
Life is too short to live for some other person.
Wednesday, August 18, 2004
Damnit... so hectic today and its supposed to be holiday for me!
(&*@$@$(Y($*Y@
Worked on the oath in the morning, cleared my stupid room, went for lunch, came home, worked on arrangement for the school's musical... rushing... burn to cd, ran down to school, changed to formal wear, indoor photoshoot at the piano, rush down to training, ran, statics, rushed down to auditorium for rehearsal at 7:25, rehearse with zhiwei, rush back down to training for debrief, got call spammed by SA staff.. told them I was in toilet hahas, then edelweis called, have to rush back doh, right when ben was debriefing... so rush loh, then play with zhiwei in the run through, then rush back to catch the team for dinner.
Argh.
I need to kage bunshin no jutsu.
(&*@$@$(Y($*Y@
Worked on the oath in the morning, cleared my stupid room, went for lunch, came home, worked on arrangement for the school's musical... rushing... burn to cd, ran down to school, changed to formal wear, indoor photoshoot at the piano, rush down to training, ran, statics, rushed down to auditorium for rehearsal at 7:25, rehearse with zhiwei, rush back down to training for debrief, got call spammed by SA staff.. told them I was in toilet hahas, then edelweis called, have to rush back doh, right when ben was debriefing... so rush loh, then play with zhiwei in the run through, then rush back to catch the team for dinner.
Argh.
I need to kage bunshin no jutsu.
Tuesday, August 17, 2004
Blardi mindef always putting me at the earliest slot for checkup....
So I'm Pes A+.... again haha. Managed to score perfect on the eyesight test this time instead of the one error last time.
The doc commented that I'm "super fit", and that "this country needs more men like you to defend the country." Little does he know that it is not that I am super fit, but it is that most guys in singapore are "girly men" ahuahuahua.
Ohh there was this really fun mental stability test!
So tempted to give funny answers when they're asking questions like...
"Do you often feel that someone is trying to hurt you, or poison you?"
"Do you believe that you have supernatural powers?"
"Do you believe that people can read your thoughts?"
I kept remembering Al's "advises" on how to chao keng and downgrade... but didn't haha.
Went home and remembered I forgot to update passport so couldn't join the ER team for outing at johor doh. So took a much needed nap then rushed down to school to meet Jo.
Then practiced with Zhihui, then went to train.
Tried max sets today. 27 pullups. That really sucks. I need to hit 40.
Did gym then swam 0.5km.
And now I'm damn shacked hahahaha.
So I'm Pes A+.... again haha. Managed to score perfect on the eyesight test this time instead of the one error last time.
The doc commented that I'm "super fit", and that "this country needs more men like you to defend the country." Little does he know that it is not that I am super fit, but it is that most guys in singapore are "girly men" ahuahuahua.
Ohh there was this really fun mental stability test!
So tempted to give funny answers when they're asking questions like...
"Do you often feel that someone is trying to hurt you, or poison you?"
"Do you believe that you have supernatural powers?"
"Do you believe that people can read your thoughts?"
I kept remembering Al's "advises" on how to chao keng and downgrade... but didn't haha.
Went home and remembered I forgot to update passport so couldn't join the ER team for outing at johor doh. So took a much needed nap then rushed down to school to meet Jo.
Then practiced with Zhihui, then went to train.
Tried max sets today. 27 pullups. That really sucks. I need to hit 40.
Did gym then swam 0.5km.
And now I'm damn shacked hahahaha.
Monday, August 16, 2004
Idiotic SAF... want me to go checkup again tomorrow. I'll just get a bloody pes A again and cheat on your lame iq tests this time lah.
First day of holidays so far quite good. Managed to work on a piece of music. Hoorah. Went to school to meet Jo and see Lina for the camp... and got bombarded by SA staff haha.
Haiz... what to say except that I'm being pulled here and there again. Rehearsals for the musical are on wednesday, and Mr Wee is threatening to cancel all db trainings until the musical is over because I've been skipping rehearsals to go for training.
But skipping training is like an impossibility... so I'm going to go training first, then run off at 7pm hahaha. Even Ivan is shooing me to go for rehearsals argh.
Had a talk with Ivan at the track after that, you know, all NYP students are real lucky to have SA officers like we do.
Haiz.
Met Chan at the track and ran with him before going to swim then do weights with the juniors. Omigod, I felt the knee act up for awhile during running doh. Time to up glucosamin intake again.
First day of holidays so far quite good. Managed to work on a piece of music. Hoorah. Went to school to meet Jo and see Lina for the camp... and got bombarded by SA staff haha.
Haiz... what to say except that I'm being pulled here and there again. Rehearsals for the musical are on wednesday, and Mr Wee is threatening to cancel all db trainings until the musical is over because I've been skipping rehearsals to go for training.
But skipping training is like an impossibility... so I'm going to go training first, then run off at 7pm hahaha. Even Ivan is shooing me to go for rehearsals argh.
Had a talk with Ivan at the track after that, you know, all NYP students are real lucky to have SA officers like we do.
Haiz.
Met Chan at the track and ran with him before going to swim then do weights with the juniors. Omigod, I felt the knee act up for awhile during running doh. Time to up glucosamin intake again.
Sunday, August 15, 2004
So it only occured to me when I started packing my headphones, windbreaker, water bottles, that I wasn't going to be coming back here anymore.
Last day of work is supposed to be a happy time. But in a way I couldn't bear to leave it a little.
Will miss helping Ling finish her food at Yoshinoya and drinking her miso soup for her,
Will miss Jean's friendly nagging :D
Will miss Ivan's bioing of girls hahaha.
And they got me a card and water bottle as a farewell persent ;_;
Haiz..... well, now to work on all the things I've been dying to... only problem is where to start argh....
Training on friday was pretty good, cept for a few minor hiccups. Think I accidentally rubbed my eyes during situps as this was right before pushups and I felt a strong stinging and itchy feeling in my eyes argh.... Thought I was going to daiiiiii and kept squinting tears out. Stupid dirty school track.....
Lugged myself to canoeing training on sat. Holiday mood liaos... paddled around kallang basin aimlessly, shoulders damn pain ah....
Sun was very hot today.... stupid sun. Boat very heavy, stupid boat. Shoulders more pani, stupid shoulders....
Last day of work is supposed to be a happy time. But in a way I couldn't bear to leave it a little.
Will miss helping Ling finish her food at Yoshinoya and drinking her miso soup for her,
Will miss Jean's friendly nagging :D
Will miss Ivan's bioing of girls hahaha.
And they got me a card and water bottle as a farewell persent ;_;
Haiz..... well, now to work on all the things I've been dying to... only problem is where to start argh....
Training on friday was pretty good, cept for a few minor hiccups. Think I accidentally rubbed my eyes during situps as this was right before pushups and I felt a strong stinging and itchy feeling in my eyes argh.... Thought I was going to daiiiiii and kept squinting tears out. Stupid dirty school track.....
Lugged myself to canoeing training on sat. Holiday mood liaos... paddled around kallang basin aimlessly, shoulders damn pain ah....
Sun was very hot today.... stupid sun. Boat very heavy, stupid boat. Shoulders more pani, stupid shoulders....
Thursday, August 12, 2004
Jem came for training yesterday. Was nice to see the bugger again, although I didn't get to talk to him much :(
Haha managed to get out of rehearsal yesterday thanks to the cd I cut and get back to training in record time.
Had some difficulty during pushups yesterday..... that means I was affected by the weights session on monday and tuesday, which means I've lost some conditioning shit! And I went for a race like this? Walau eh.....
The guys are doing alot better now. Particularly impressed by Mike... who would've thought such conviction would surface from one such as him? His stroke and technique is the best yet.
Pool rowing was uh... *slaps forehead*
We need to work on timing....
Went to YCK to eat after that. Argh I seriously am beginning to hate the food there... this fri, S-11 yay.
Seeing Kenny like that makes me a little thankful that I'm not in a relationship sometimes?
Played the penang clapping game with him at the station. Managed to read him for 5 steps... heeheehee. I remember I was laughing like an idiot the first time I played that game too. We have too much in common.
Tomorrow's my last day here then freedom.
HAHAHAHAHHAHAHHA>
OWF H_@#(*FNM_#@(*F&M_#@!()R
Haha managed to get out of rehearsal yesterday thanks to the cd I cut and get back to training in record time.
Had some difficulty during pushups yesterday..... that means I was affected by the weights session on monday and tuesday, which means I've lost some conditioning shit! And I went for a race like this? Walau eh.....
The guys are doing alot better now. Particularly impressed by Mike... who would've thought such conviction would surface from one such as him? His stroke and technique is the best yet.
Pool rowing was uh... *slaps forehead*
We need to work on timing....
Went to YCK to eat after that. Argh I seriously am beginning to hate the food there... this fri, S-11 yay.
Seeing Kenny like that makes me a little thankful that I'm not in a relationship sometimes?
Played the penang clapping game with him at the station. Managed to read him for 5 steps... heeheehee. I remember I was laughing like an idiot the first time I played that game too. We have too much in common.
Tomorrow's my last day here then freedom.
HAHAHAHAHHAHAHHA>
OWF H_@#(*FNM_#@(*F&M_#@!()R
Wednesday, August 11, 2004
Well I guess I should recap nationals...
The extremely unstable k4 races...
The good lucks, jia yous, all the bests exchanged between rowers while waiting for the event to start.
The sighting of Francis clan in action.
The capsizing of the nyp k4 boat just 5 metres from the finish line.
Blacking out and capsizing at the finish line for my first race. What a way to start, huh.
I guess I'm dissapointed that none of the sets came even close to my pb timing in macritchie which wasn't even in a boat I was familiar with. White sting rocks. It was thrilling to be leading the other boats, and it sucked seeing another boat infront of you. Perhaps the suprise come back on sunday didn't help either. Psychologically I summoned the will to go down into the water again after I had already admitted defeat in the heats. I didn't get as far as I wanted with this short time in canoeing, but I know given more time.... which I will train for. I'm going to get so much faster.
Al told me, 'there's no point rushing to go for races. When it comes, it comes.'I suppose I'm lucky to have to have "seniors" like Al and Wee.
Thanks to Jo and Jazz for being there on the first day and helping to ease my mind, thanks to Kenny for our awesome celebration at kfc and ps2 hahaha.
Thus the end of one struggle marks the beginning of a new one. And as usual, after every race comes that spirit.
The extremely unstable k4 races...
The good lucks, jia yous, all the bests exchanged between rowers while waiting for the event to start.
The sighting of Francis clan in action.
The capsizing of the nyp k4 boat just 5 metres from the finish line.
Blacking out and capsizing at the finish line for my first race. What a way to start, huh.
I guess I'm dissapointed that none of the sets came even close to my pb timing in macritchie which wasn't even in a boat I was familiar with. White sting rocks. It was thrilling to be leading the other boats, and it sucked seeing another boat infront of you. Perhaps the suprise come back on sunday didn't help either. Psychologically I summoned the will to go down into the water again after I had already admitted defeat in the heats. I didn't get as far as I wanted with this short time in canoeing, but I know given more time.... which I will train for. I'm going to get so much faster.
Al told me, 'there's no point rushing to go for races. When it comes, it comes.'I suppose I'm lucky to have to have "seniors" like Al and Wee.
Thanks to Jo and Jazz for being there on the first day and helping to ease my mind, thanks to Kenny for our awesome celebration at kfc and ps2 hahaha.
Thus the end of one struggle marks the beginning of a new one. And as usual, after every race comes that spirit.
Tuesday, August 10, 2004
I used to think their silence and solemness after winning a race was due to discipline. But after hearing a certain teacher in charge's explaination, I guess there is some spirit in ettique, humility and honor in sportsmanship in singapore after all:
"results speak for themselves. if u haf won, u noe u're gd. there's no need to boast abt it n rub it in for ur other competitors since they alr haf to deal with their own disappointment. besides, u nv noe if u're even competing with the best in the event since every sch has diff strategies. most of all, the person who came in last may haf gone thru much more hardship than urself to jus get to the starting line. so performance shld not be the most impt judging criteria. n the emphasis on humility is cos there will always be someone better than u in this world. as it is, when u do well n is outstanding, there'll alr be ppl trying to get u down. wat more if u go ard showing off??"
"results speak for themselves. if u haf won, u noe u're gd. there's no need to boast abt it n rub it in for ur other competitors since they alr haf to deal with their own disappointment. besides, u nv noe if u're even competing with the best in the event since every sch has diff strategies. most of all, the person who came in last may haf gone thru much more hardship than urself to jus get to the starting line. so performance shld not be the most impt judging criteria. n the emphasis on humility is cos there will always be someone better than u in this world. as it is, when u do well n is outstanding, there'll alr be ppl trying to get u down. wat more if u go ard showing off??"
Monday, August 09, 2004
Went school to to do gym today with melv and yixue. Damn shiok...
Tried the lat pulldown machine... I think deproved abit? Stacked the whole machine's weights and could only do 3/4 the way down. Maybe it was because finished 3 sets already hahaha.
Then went to play handball... tiring ahhh..... then basketball. Played 1 on 2 with melv and yixue and was losing 2 to 4 to them then did a super comeback and beat the game at 5 points ahuahuaha :p
Came home to watch ndp on tv...
Iskandar's orchestrated arrangements rock. But those modern/techy arrangements really suck lah... sounded like default cakewalk samples or something.... geez.
And what is a violin solo that goes c, d, c, d, c, d, c, d, c, d, c, d, c, c, c, a, c, a, c, a, c, a supposed to be doh.
Walau then the tribute to mr goh so sad....
Ok... getting spammed on msn....
Tried the lat pulldown machine... I think deproved abit? Stacked the whole machine's weights and could only do 3/4 the way down. Maybe it was because finished 3 sets already hahaha.
Then went to play handball... tiring ahhh..... then basketball. Played 1 on 2 with melv and yixue and was losing 2 to 4 to them then did a super comeback and beat the game at 5 points ahuahuaha :p
Came home to watch ndp on tv...
Iskandar's orchestrated arrangements rock. But those modern/techy arrangements really suck lah... sounded like default cakewalk samples or something.... geez.
And what is a violin solo that goes c, d, c, d, c, d, c, d, c, d, c, d, c, c, c, a, c, a, c, a, c, a supposed to be doh.
Walau then the tribute to mr goh so sad....
Ok... getting spammed on msn....
Sunday, August 08, 2004
At last, canoeing season is over.
Kenny and I got knocked out in the semis....
I wasn't that dissapointed this time. Because I got to compete against SG's fastest. Hahaha.
And oh boy is he fast.
Kenny and I felt so free, as if a huge burden had been lifted up from us. We sent to KFC to celebrate hahaha. Yeah, K-F-C. The one place I haven't stepped in in... years? Ate 4 pieces of chicken, 2 sides of mashed potatos and 2 sides of coleslaw hell yeah! Then we proceeded to my place for a ps2 marathon.
This friday... last day of attachement.
Then I can train properly again. I can't wait :)
Kenny and I got knocked out in the semis....
I wasn't that dissapointed this time. Because I got to compete against SG's fastest. Hahaha.
And oh boy is he fast.
Kenny and I felt so free, as if a huge burden had been lifted up from us. We sent to KFC to celebrate hahaha. Yeah, K-F-C. The one place I haven't stepped in in... years? Ate 4 pieces of chicken, 2 sides of mashed potatos and 2 sides of coleslaw hell yeah! Then we proceeded to my place for a ps2 marathon.
This friday... last day of attachement.
Then I can train properly again. I can't wait :)
Saturday, August 07, 2004
Well, I guess I'm quite pissed...... quite sad...
I knew that there was something wrong with the direction for the 500m set.... how could the sidewinds have been pulling me to the left?
Later when Samantha said the rudder was loose I knew I had missed the estimation in my directioning. If only I had looked up more, surely I would have noticed something was wrong... Instead I was so bent on kicking harder on right, pulling harder on right. I didn't listen to cougar again... didn't listen to the waters...
At the 250 mark I know I was leading the NTU and the NJC boat... swerved out 3 times and made macdonalds proud with 3 frigging curves... pulling harder on right.... last 100 metres... breathing and heartrate in red zones.... the 2 boats pulling away slowly..... tried in vain to activate kuzuraisen...
I heard the team scream my name from the hill... right before I passed the bouy I looked far ahead to see if I could spot them......
Everything dimming... getting darker then the next thing I knew... I was in the water. Then I knew I had froze up and capsized... quickly looked around and back and thank god made it through the bouys, he cold water shocked me back to my sucky reality.
I had never felt so glad to have a lifevest on in my life.... almost blacked out again but clung on to cougar for dear life as the NTU and NJC boat helped me back in.
250m was just play stupid on my part. Real stupid to try something I had just thought off. If only I had stuck to the original race plan.
I wanted so much to prove them wrong. I wanted to prove sensei wrong. I didn't want to be "the new guy who's coming up". I wanted to be the miraculous newbie who trained only 3 months in the k1 and beat those buggers.
Back on land I knew those looks... so afraid to do something or say something to make me hurt...
But I'm so good at putting up that face. Crying or feeling sorry for yourself is for the weak. But inside, sucks.
Maybe that's why I like to play the piano sometimes.
Is it possible to cry without tears, without making a sound?
Maybe sometimes, when people hear, they know.
Then they just think "Oh, he's good at expression."
Heh, bluffed them again. Aren't I great?
I knew that there was something wrong with the direction for the 500m set.... how could the sidewinds have been pulling me to the left?
Later when Samantha said the rudder was loose I knew I had missed the estimation in my directioning. If only I had looked up more, surely I would have noticed something was wrong... Instead I was so bent on kicking harder on right, pulling harder on right. I didn't listen to cougar again... didn't listen to the waters...
At the 250 mark I know I was leading the NTU and the NJC boat... swerved out 3 times and made macdonalds proud with 3 frigging curves... pulling harder on right.... last 100 metres... breathing and heartrate in red zones.... the 2 boats pulling away slowly..... tried in vain to activate kuzuraisen...
I heard the team scream my name from the hill... right before I passed the bouy I looked far ahead to see if I could spot them......
Everything dimming... getting darker then the next thing I knew... I was in the water. Then I knew I had froze up and capsized... quickly looked around and back and thank god made it through the bouys, he cold water shocked me back to my sucky reality.
I had never felt so glad to have a lifevest on in my life.... almost blacked out again but clung on to cougar for dear life as the NTU and NJC boat helped me back in.
250m was just play stupid on my part. Real stupid to try something I had just thought off. If only I had stuck to the original race plan.
I wanted so much to prove them wrong. I wanted to prove sensei wrong. I didn't want to be "the new guy who's coming up". I wanted to be the miraculous newbie who trained only 3 months in the k1 and beat those buggers.
Back on land I knew those looks... so afraid to do something or say something to make me hurt...
But I'm so good at putting up that face. Crying or feeling sorry for yourself is for the weak. But inside, sucks.
Maybe that's why I like to play the piano sometimes.
Is it possible to cry without tears, without making a sound?
Maybe sometimes, when people hear, they know.
Then they just think "Oh, he's good at expression."
Heh, bluffed them again. Aren't I great?
Friday, August 06, 2004
Thursday, August 05, 2004
Been lugging my wife around cuz had to transfer from kallang to macritchie for trial paddles today. Got alot of stares ahh... irritating. Obviously alot of people never seen something so tall, beautiful and slender before.
Had to finish up some stupid scripting changes to the sony project because the dumb client suddenly had a "bright" idea...... as a result had to go to training late... haiz..
Looks like ben suprised them with a PFT.... hahaha. Shucks man.
So went up to do circuits, then we played some game. Errr... Melv got alot of things to say hahas..... notice got alot of comical characters in the guys team.
Tried to sleep, but was looking at the race programme for sat...
Went to macritchie today for trial runs... sheesh.... its a little different alright. Used some stupid cramped boat for awhile then Wee let me use the team singapore boat. Damn cool sia, got singapore flag at the front and back of the boat, and the extruded shape of a "sai" at the front (the weapon not excretion damnit). Australian model..... super light, hard to balance, but pretty fun.
Did a crappy timing of 2:25 mins.... if I were in cougar we'd go so much faster....
Tonight's my last water session at kallang with cougar before the race.
....
Yeah... damn sad.
Been analyzing the race program and begun topo level research on opponents.
I guess I'm lucky? I must make it through my heats and meet Wee and JY in the finals for 500m.
250m is a tough call....
Had to finish up some stupid scripting changes to the sony project because the dumb client suddenly had a "bright" idea...... as a result had to go to training late... haiz..
Looks like ben suprised them with a PFT.... hahaha. Shucks man.
So went up to do circuits, then we played some game. Errr... Melv got alot of things to say hahas..... notice got alot of comical characters in the guys team.
Tried to sleep, but was looking at the race programme for sat...
Went to macritchie today for trial runs... sheesh.... its a little different alright. Used some stupid cramped boat for awhile then Wee let me use the team singapore boat. Damn cool sia, got singapore flag at the front and back of the boat, and the extruded shape of a "sai" at the front (the weapon not excretion damnit). Australian model..... super light, hard to balance, but pretty fun.
Did a crappy timing of 2:25 mins.... if I were in cougar we'd go so much faster....
Tonight's my last water session at kallang with cougar before the race.
....
Yeah... damn sad.
Been analyzing the race program and begun topo level research on opponents.
I guess I'm lucky? I must make it through my heats and meet Wee and JY in the finals for 500m.
250m is a tough call....
Wednesday, August 04, 2004
Tuesday, August 03, 2004
Monday, August 02, 2004
Just did a virtual survey of the macritchie area where the national canoeing championships are going to be held in 5 days time.
All I can say is... I feel sick in the stomach.
It looks so different from kallang basin... so calm, so serene, not like the kaopeh waters of kallang basin.
The red bouys, imagining the starters....
Had a small talk with sensei on sat:
Sensei: All I can say is.... its difficult. You are trying to master something that takes people at least 1 year in such a small amount of time.
Me: So?
Sensei: You think its possible?
Me: Yeah.
Sensei: Oh. *grins*
Stupid geezer!
On sat, I'll know if its enough.
Its hard training alone sometimes. Going down in the early mornings or late evenings to row. Watching the sunrise or sunset. Pushing, pushing yourself to pull harder. Racing with other schools when they are doing sets.
A team like NJC can be strong, because they have each other. They are a team, they push each other and trust each other.
I'm out there alone. Trying to beat them. Trying to beat everyone else. Trying to be number one.
Maybe some day I'll find a strong team to be with too.
Maybe its possible for someone to train 3 months in a k1 and beat someone whos been training for years.
Just found out that next friday is my last day at work here. Instead of the 24th, its the 14th.
Everything around me is signalling the end of a cycle.
I just wonder if the next cycle will be better?
All I can say is... I feel sick in the stomach.
It looks so different from kallang basin... so calm, so serene, not like the kaopeh waters of kallang basin.
The red bouys, imagining the starters....
Had a small talk with sensei on sat:
Sensei: All I can say is.... its difficult. You are trying to master something that takes people at least 1 year in such a small amount of time.
Me: So?
Sensei: You think its possible?
Me: Yeah.
Sensei: Oh. *grins*
Stupid geezer!
On sat, I'll know if its enough.
Its hard training alone sometimes. Going down in the early mornings or late evenings to row. Watching the sunrise or sunset. Pushing, pushing yourself to pull harder. Racing with other schools when they are doing sets.
A team like NJC can be strong, because they have each other. They are a team, they push each other and trust each other.
I'm out there alone. Trying to beat them. Trying to beat everyone else. Trying to be number one.
Maybe some day I'll find a strong team to be with too.
Maybe its possible for someone to train 3 months in a k1 and beat someone whos been training for years.
Just found out that next friday is my last day at work here. Instead of the 24th, its the 14th.
Everything around me is signalling the end of a cycle.
I just wonder if the next cycle will be better?
Sunday, August 01, 2004
Sun very hot today ah....
Took at break from canoeing today.
6 days left.
3 rowing sessions left.
Still have yet to break my 2:18 timing.
Once this weekend is done..... maybe I will be more free?
Or maybe not?
Can't wait fo september. Extra attachment will be over, more time to train, to do music.
Yessss......
Took at break from canoeing today.
6 days left.
3 rowing sessions left.
Still have yet to break my 2:18 timing.
Once this weekend is done..... maybe I will be more free?
Or maybe not?
Can't wait fo september. Extra attachment will be over, more time to train, to do music.
Yessss......
Saturday, July 31, 2004
Rowing in the morning was pretty good. The water was slightly calmer for some parts of the training.
Tested out Reppaden and Kuzuraisen against Sensei and Kenny.
Reppaden seemed to be quite useful, since I can push for almost 40% of the 500 meter race, so I can catch up to sensei after he pulls away. Drawback is its too slow... so I'll be counting on catching up.
Kuzuraisen on the other hand is almost on par with his starting burst. However, it can't last for as long.
So now I can either try to:
Issen-Reppaden start, and hope to catch up.
or
Issen-Kuzuraisen start, and hope to not die out.
or I'm thinking of trying something really insane and
Issen-Kuzuraisen-Reppaden start.
Which is totally insane, but it may just work to cut my timing down by alot if I can focus on relaxing myself for as much as possible during Reppaden.
Shall try it out this week.
Quite shacked, went for the dragonboating outing to sentosa.
Jo is scary... she made so much food. Ahhh and the steamed chicken breasts was damn good although looked abit scary XD.
Ben's sushi rocked. Although kenah the wasabi booby-trapped sushi. Damn sway.... the inside of my nose suddenly became damn hot and that hot sensation...
Za's beehoon rocked too. Should've opened up both tubs tho... and Louis' green tea was finished damn fast.... only left coke and pepsi after awhile, argh sugar.
And seeing the amount of food jo brought made me worry if the group could finish it... so I didn't get the fruits afterall....
I guess we had alot of fun, traumatizing palawan's floating pontoons too haha. Even got the guys to hand row and go in circles hahaha.
Ok tired, sleepy time.
Tested out Reppaden and Kuzuraisen against Sensei and Kenny.
Reppaden seemed to be quite useful, since I can push for almost 40% of the 500 meter race, so I can catch up to sensei after he pulls away. Drawback is its too slow... so I'll be counting on catching up.
Kuzuraisen on the other hand is almost on par with his starting burst. However, it can't last for as long.
So now I can either try to:
Issen-Reppaden start, and hope to catch up.
or
Issen-Kuzuraisen start, and hope to not die out.
or I'm thinking of trying something really insane and
Issen-Kuzuraisen-Reppaden start.
Which is totally insane, but it may just work to cut my timing down by alot if I can focus on relaxing myself for as much as possible during Reppaden.
Shall try it out this week.
Quite shacked, went for the dragonboating outing to sentosa.
Jo is scary... she made so much food. Ahhh and the steamed chicken breasts was damn good although looked abit scary XD.
Ben's sushi rocked. Although kenah the wasabi booby-trapped sushi. Damn sway.... the inside of my nose suddenly became damn hot and that hot sensation...
Za's beehoon rocked too. Should've opened up both tubs tho... and Louis' green tea was finished damn fast.... only left coke and pepsi after awhile, argh sugar.
And seeing the amount of food jo brought made me worry if the group could finish it... so I didn't get the fruits afterall....
I guess we had alot of fun, traumatizing palawan's floating pontoons too haha. Even got the guys to hand row and go in circles hahaha.
Ok tired, sleepy time.
Friday, July 30, 2004
I got fished.
Idiotic uncle fisherman cast his line out so far out yesterday evening. All the way out to lane 3! Moron! Then he can still yell and kao peh at me some more! You lucky I was in a peaceful state and one with the universe yesterday or else I would go over pick you up and toss you down into kallang basin.
Irritating......
This morning's timing slightly better... 2:18mins. Almost there.... comon comon... 8 seconds less! Maintenance is crap I think. Other than that Issen to Reppaden transition is good, and I can maintain reppaden for 40 cycles at the start, and activate again at the end.
Only thing is maintanence... and breathing... need to control.
8 days and counting.
Ganbate, Reu!
Idiotic uncle fisherman cast his line out so far out yesterday evening. All the way out to lane 3! Moron! Then he can still yell and kao peh at me some more! You lucky I was in a peaceful state and one with the universe yesterday or else I would go over pick you up and toss you down into kallang basin.
Irritating......
This morning's timing slightly better... 2:18mins. Almost there.... comon comon... 8 seconds less! Maintenance is crap I think. Other than that Issen to Reppaden transition is good, and I can maintain reppaden for 40 cycles at the start, and activate again at the end.
Only thing is maintanence... and breathing... need to control.
8 days and counting.
Ganbate, Reu!
Thursday, July 29, 2004
Was working damn super fast today, or as Paul would say, I was working in GOD MODE hahaha.
Finished up the feature demo and ammended the sony website.
Then could rush down early for training hooray!
Omigod, on the way to training I reached into my bag to get my wallet and noticed its wet... then I thought yesterday's wet clothes were still in there but to my horror it was white and pastey.
Turns out I had accidentally sat on my bag earlier and exploded my carton of low sugar nutrisoy (Which rocks btw, I'm never buying normal nutrisoy again). Unluckily, it was yesterday's nutrisoy, and when they tell you to keep it refridgerated, they aren't kidding. half of it was nutri soya bean curd, and all of it smelt like wet hamster.
Luckily for me there was only 1/8 a carton left when it exploded.
So yeah, tahan the damn smell until reached school then washed my jersey and shorts with soap... 2 times.
Training was argh. Ben really pushed up the running towards the end doh. Then 90 pushups... maybe it was the damned circuit yesterday but almost couldn't tahan the 90. I love situps, so damned easy.
Pullups were ok... jonny said got some slackers behind skipping sets. wth? Why got such thing happening?
Pool rowing was pretty good. Guy's reponse is good, although timing still very cok up at times. Ben saved my voice and lent me his whistle for the single stroking drills. Its damn loud ah, almost deafened myself. I wonder if anyone has gone deaf from blowing a whistle too loud before?
Upon retrospect, I believe I was blowing the whistle upside down.... perhaps that is why it was so loud.
Went to eat. Hrm..... Siva so fast kenah knee ligament problem, darren getting runners knee, daryl kenah ligament problem, damn worrying loh.
Tired, I don't think I'll row tomorrow morning. Going to get a proper almost 8 hours rest. But in the evening Cougar and I will rock the basin.
Finished up the feature demo and ammended the sony website.
Then could rush down early for training hooray!
Omigod, on the way to training I reached into my bag to get my wallet and noticed its wet... then I thought yesterday's wet clothes were still in there but to my horror it was white and pastey.
Turns out I had accidentally sat on my bag earlier and exploded my carton of low sugar nutrisoy (Which rocks btw, I'm never buying normal nutrisoy again). Unluckily, it was yesterday's nutrisoy, and when they tell you to keep it refridgerated, they aren't kidding. half of it was nutri soya bean curd, and all of it smelt like wet hamster.
Luckily for me there was only 1/8 a carton left when it exploded.
So yeah, tahan the damn smell until reached school then washed my jersey and shorts with soap... 2 times.
Training was argh. Ben really pushed up the running towards the end doh. Then 90 pushups... maybe it was the damned circuit yesterday but almost couldn't tahan the 90. I love situps, so damned easy.
Pullups were ok... jonny said got some slackers behind skipping sets. wth? Why got such thing happening?
Pool rowing was pretty good. Guy's reponse is good, although timing still very cok up at times. Ben saved my voice and lent me his whistle for the single stroking drills. Its damn loud ah, almost deafened myself. I wonder if anyone has gone deaf from blowing a whistle too loud before?
Upon retrospect, I believe I was blowing the whistle upside down.... perhaps that is why it was so loud.
Went to eat. Hrm..... Siva so fast kenah knee ligament problem, darren getting runners knee, daryl kenah ligament problem, damn worrying loh.
Tired, I don't think I'll row tomorrow morning. Going to get a proper almost 8 hours rest. But in the evening Cougar and I will rock the basin.
Tuesday, July 27, 2004
Happy!
Water training in the morning was fun. Getting the hang of the stroke and working to perfect reppaden.
Did one set.... 2:20mins.... not my personal best... and gotta cut 10 seconds. Common! 1.5 weeks left!
Relaxed at work, then stressed out when the new project came in argh.
Then went to school and did circuits with melvin and yixue. 3 sets of 12 pullups, then weights circuits.
I prefer when the weights room was outside the sports hall... now that its beside the clubroom, anyone who comes out of the toilet or comes down from the track is so curious...
Got 2 wolf whistles a few "wahs" and other horrified remarks during running to weights transitions for weights circuits. Ok, it amuses me somewhat lah hahaha.
I've never busted my lungs out so many times in a self training session before. Fighting spirit is raising. I'm going to charge my arms out for nationals.
Water training in the morning was fun. Getting the hang of the stroke and working to perfect reppaden.
Did one set.... 2:20mins.... not my personal best... and gotta cut 10 seconds. Common! 1.5 weeks left!
Relaxed at work, then stressed out when the new project came in argh.
Then went to school and did circuits with melvin and yixue. 3 sets of 12 pullups, then weights circuits.
I prefer when the weights room was outside the sports hall... now that its beside the clubroom, anyone who comes out of the toilet or comes down from the track is so curious...
Got 2 wolf whistles a few "wahs" and other horrified remarks during running to weights transitions for weights circuits. Ok, it amuses me somewhat lah hahaha.
I've never busted my lungs out so many times in a self training session before. Fighting spirit is raising. I'm going to charge my arms out for nationals.
Monday, July 26, 2004
Well I must have been an idiot if I thought that this was going to be easy.
If I give up now than I might as well give up on the race.
I WILL make at least a 2:10mins timing in cougar even if I faint at the end of the lap.
Managed to go down to kallang and row abit before Sadu closed SDBA today. All I can say is... my head was too clouded for the past few training sessions. And what Ben told us about learning C but forgetting A and B made alot of sense.
All this time I've tried to master each aspect of the stroke individually, sometimes forgetting the other aspects. The last step was worked on last week. Now all I have to do is combine everything.
Perpendicular entry, upper arm following down, stretch forward, pull close to boat, kick hard, lat and torso twist.
I didn't manage to hit my goal today, 2:25 and 2:35. Was rushing through everything.... tomorrow I shall feel the pull more.
I am a master of analysis and impromptu strategies. No more am I going to blindly row like an idiot. Today I have christened my two techniques; one which I have only managed to do one time before and completely trashed the K2 with, the other based on a mental image of sensei's new stroke.
"Reppagen" and "Kuzuraisen".
These will be my trump cards in the race.
Thing is, right now I can only fit in 2 Reppagen in one 500 metre race before completely dying, and the recovery time is too long.
And Kuzuraisen isn't effective if I don't stretch forward an extra 10%.
2 weeks.
I will do this.
If I give up now than I might as well give up on the race.
I WILL make at least a 2:10mins timing in cougar even if I faint at the end of the lap.
Managed to go down to kallang and row abit before Sadu closed SDBA today. All I can say is... my head was too clouded for the past few training sessions. And what Ben told us about learning C but forgetting A and B made alot of sense.
All this time I've tried to master each aspect of the stroke individually, sometimes forgetting the other aspects. The last step was worked on last week. Now all I have to do is combine everything.
Perpendicular entry, upper arm following down, stretch forward, pull close to boat, kick hard, lat and torso twist.
I didn't manage to hit my goal today, 2:25 and 2:35. Was rushing through everything.... tomorrow I shall feel the pull more.
I am a master of analysis and impromptu strategies. No more am I going to blindly row like an idiot. Today I have christened my two techniques; one which I have only managed to do one time before and completely trashed the K2 with, the other based on a mental image of sensei's new stroke.
"Reppagen" and "Kuzuraisen".
These will be my trump cards in the race.
Thing is, right now I can only fit in 2 Reppagen in one 500 metre race before completely dying, and the recovery time is too long.
And Kuzuraisen isn't effective if I don't stretch forward an extra 10%.
2 weeks.
I will do this.
Sunday, July 25, 2004
Tired.
Stupid kallang water.
Sensei said my right arm rowing well but left arm cok up.
wtf? stupid left arm.
First DB training today. There go my plans on getting fairer. I resign to my fate to be one of the darkness muhahahahaha. Screw the lightside. If I were a jedi I would pick a red crystal cuz its so cool and lightblue is for little boys....
Guys turnup was ok... hahaha cocked up one of ben's instructions again doh, but know I gotta stay super thick skinned although learn from mistakes.
The guys response is quite good in the boat. Shaneroh! Although timing like blargh every now and then.
Girls looked a little lost at start and end when Ben asked me to move and organize the juniors while the rest of the seniors rowed. I realize I'm a little lost as to how to handle the girls when Jo suddenly dissapears? hahahaha. Jialat... all of them got the O_O look, dunno how to yell at them also. Haiz....
Holding positions after canoeing is damn tiring ah.... shoulders burning during pause stroke drills...
Went to eat after that... mmmmmmmmmmmmm... teppanyaki and beef ball soup muhahahaha.
Then went to the arcade with the guys while waiting to watch I,robot... raped the cpu and accidentally Kenny... didn't know he was the one challenging me at the other side hahaha or would have gone easier. Abusing glitches with a large group is fun too.
Its quite difficult trying to keep such a big group together all the time... Melvin gave some problems at the bus stop also... its not that I wanted to walk so much further to the mrt station loh, its just that I wanted the group to stay together and not split up in buses.
haiz.
damn tired. got two episodes of naruto to watch woohoo!
Stupid kallang water.
Sensei said my right arm rowing well but left arm cok up.
wtf? stupid left arm.
First DB training today. There go my plans on getting fairer. I resign to my fate to be one of the darkness muhahahahaha. Screw the lightside. If I were a jedi I would pick a red crystal cuz its so cool and lightblue is for little boys....
Guys turnup was ok... hahaha cocked up one of ben's instructions again doh, but know I gotta stay super thick skinned although learn from mistakes.
The guys response is quite good in the boat. Shaneroh! Although timing like blargh every now and then.
Girls looked a little lost at start and end when Ben asked me to move and organize the juniors while the rest of the seniors rowed. I realize I'm a little lost as to how to handle the girls when Jo suddenly dissapears? hahahaha. Jialat... all of them got the O_O look, dunno how to yell at them also. Haiz....
Holding positions after canoeing is damn tiring ah.... shoulders burning during pause stroke drills...
Went to eat after that... mmmmmmmmmmmmm... teppanyaki and beef ball soup muhahahaha.
Then went to the arcade with the guys while waiting to watch I,robot... raped the cpu and accidentally Kenny... didn't know he was the one challenging me at the other side hahaha or would have gone easier. Abusing glitches with a large group is fun too.
Its quite difficult trying to keep such a big group together all the time... Melvin gave some problems at the bus stop also... its not that I wanted to walk so much further to the mrt station loh, its just that I wanted the group to stay together and not split up in buses.
haiz.
damn tired. got two episodes of naruto to watch woohoo!
Saturday, July 24, 2004
Damn bloody pissed.
Training so hard and my standard in the water is utter crap.
I couldn't even pull away from the nyjc boats just now? wtf.
And all the time spent training in the mornings when the water is always so bloody calm is useless on the weekends when sensei is around because the water is so damned choppy and bouncy and I cant feel or catch the damned water and he keeps suanning me.
Getting damned pissed off when I'm doing all that I can yet my speed in the water still isn't fast enough! I hate work! Sucking up all my bloody time, leaving me with only the calm watered mornings or evenings to train. And I cant even row in the evening cuz once the sun goes down and you cap no one will bloody know!
I'm screwed. The race is in two weeks.
Maybe it isn't possible for someone to catch up with 4 months in the k1. Maybe I'm not doing enough? Maybe I'm not resting enough? Maybe I suck.
Sensei said he was dissapointed in me today.
Can't say I feel indifferently.
Training so hard and my standard in the water is utter crap.
I couldn't even pull away from the nyjc boats just now? wtf.
And all the time spent training in the mornings when the water is always so bloody calm is useless on the weekends when sensei is around because the water is so damned choppy and bouncy and I cant feel or catch the damned water and he keeps suanning me.
Getting damned pissed off when I'm doing all that I can yet my speed in the water still isn't fast enough! I hate work! Sucking up all my bloody time, leaving me with only the calm watered mornings or evenings to train. And I cant even row in the evening cuz once the sun goes down and you cap no one will bloody know!
I'm screwed. The race is in two weeks.
Maybe it isn't possible for someone to catch up with 4 months in the k1. Maybe I'm not doing enough? Maybe I'm not resting enough? Maybe I suck.
Sensei said he was dissapointed in me today.
Can't say I feel indifferently.
Friday, July 23, 2004
Worried again.
Guys numbers dropping.
Luckily this was planned for.
Finished my work early and went home to work on sound effects for the flash movie so could go for training early!
Training went ok, the guys are responding pretty well.
Pool rowing went ok. Haha some guys like... in a perpetually lagged dimension.. 1-2 second lag then cannot follow timing haiz....
Wah, now training got vocal training also sia....
Ben giving alot of freedom, Reu happy.
Went to eat with the team. Helped Kenny errr.... find out abit more about his crush hahahaa.
Brain's not working well... time to sleep.
Guys numbers dropping.
Luckily this was planned for.
Finished my work early and went home to work on sound effects for the flash movie so could go for training early!
Training went ok, the guys are responding pretty well.
Pool rowing went ok. Haha some guys like... in a perpetually lagged dimension.. 1-2 second lag then cannot follow timing haiz....
Wah, now training got vocal training also sia....
Ben giving alot of freedom, Reu happy.
Went to eat with the team. Helped Kenny errr.... find out abit more about his crush hahahaa.
Brain's not working well... time to sleep.
Rowing in the mornings this week has been.... different.
I find much wisdom in Gorri's words.
"I think you have a very good mindset. Every goal you set you do your best to hit. But it can also be your downfall."
"Do you think you're doing enough?"
And so it hit me...
I've been concentrating on trying to hit all these milestones that I have completely ignored other factors which are just as important.
What good is doing 100 pullups on sunday if there are people out there who can do 100 in less than 10 sets, or more.
So instead of focusing on the boat beside, infront or behind me during rowing, its time to feel the water more.
Sensei once told me that I must "be one with the water."
That's exactly what I need to do now.
And now, every time I do something I ask myself if it is enough, look at the strongest, and say "no."
I find much wisdom in Gorri's words.
"I think you have a very good mindset. Every goal you set you do your best to hit. But it can also be your downfall."
"Do you think you're doing enough?"
And so it hit me...
I've been concentrating on trying to hit all these milestones that I have completely ignored other factors which are just as important.
What good is doing 100 pullups on sunday if there are people out there who can do 100 in less than 10 sets, or more.
So instead of focusing on the boat beside, infront or behind me during rowing, its time to feel the water more.
Sensei once told me that I must "be one with the water."
That's exactly what I need to do now.
And now, every time I do something I ask myself if it is enough, look at the strongest, and say "no."
Wednesday, July 21, 2004
So Boss didn't let me go off early for training today.
I was quite fruastrated at first, and really pissed off.
But, it is out of his kindness that I can go off early at all for training in the first place.
And I know Ben is going today, and Jo, Louis and Za can take care of the team.
Ran to the mrt station, then ran to school, to see the team running up the slope to the track, Xue encouraging some of the slower runners.
Wanted to join the team for statics, but Ben asked Willy and me to go for 8 rounds.
*(&^#$. I needed a run anyway, although a little slow.... Willy ah... need to buck up yeah?
Pool rowing after that. Ben asked the guys to go to the small pool to do rowing. Remembered that I didn't drink enough water before training and was silghtly dehydrated when I started feeling light-headed from constantly yelling "in" and "out". But managed to stay cool hahahaha.
I find myself almost yelling "Ia!" and "sheh!".... need to remember this isn't taekwondo....
I'm so proud of the seniors. They're doing a great job mentoring, guiding, and calling the juniors up.
Went to eat dinner with the team after that.
Then one junior asked me:
"So you'll look out for us?"
To which I wasn't sure to respond...
Until later that I found out that he was some ex-beng. And I mean one of those really solemn, quiet, fierce ones haha. I thought he was picking a fight with daryl, and could also sense some uneasiness in darren, but it turned out he was just making conversation lol.
He adds a very interesting perspective to the team, I hope he stays on.
And she keeps looking at me.
Scary hahahaha.
I was quite fruastrated at first, and really pissed off.
But, it is out of his kindness that I can go off early at all for training in the first place.
And I know Ben is going today, and Jo, Louis and Za can take care of the team.
Ran to the mrt station, then ran to school, to see the team running up the slope to the track, Xue encouraging some of the slower runners.
Wanted to join the team for statics, but Ben asked Willy and me to go for 8 rounds.
*(&^#$. I needed a run anyway, although a little slow.... Willy ah... need to buck up yeah?
Pool rowing after that. Ben asked the guys to go to the small pool to do rowing. Remembered that I didn't drink enough water before training and was silghtly dehydrated when I started feeling light-headed from constantly yelling "in" and "out". But managed to stay cool hahahaha.
I find myself almost yelling "Ia!" and "sheh!".... need to remember this isn't taekwondo....
I'm so proud of the seniors. They're doing a great job mentoring, guiding, and calling the juniors up.
Went to eat dinner with the team after that.
Then one junior asked me:
"So you'll look out for us?"
To which I wasn't sure to respond...
Until later that I found out that he was some ex-beng. And I mean one of those really solemn, quiet, fierce ones haha. I thought he was picking a fight with daryl, and could also sense some uneasiness in darren, but it turned out he was just making conversation lol.
He adds a very interesting perspective to the team, I hope he stays on.
And she keeps looking at me.
Scary hahahaha.
Monday, July 19, 2004
Today I was very stressed out at work.
[Function= "Reu's thoughts"]
[Statedef 1]
Thinking about mom sick.
[Statedef 2]
Thinking about project for work.
[Statedef 3]
Thinking about getting project for work done as soon as possible so that I can leave early and be on time for training on wednesday.
[Statedef 4]
Thinking about the dragonboat team and training.
[Statedef 5]
Thinking about the Chakra trailer soundtrack that isn't completed yet.
[Statedef 6]
Thinking about the nyp musical poster that isn't ammended yet.
[Statedef 7]
Thinking about screwed I am for next month's canoeing nationals.
[Statedef 8]
Thinking about having to leave work at 7 to rush down to meet mom for dinner and collect her medicine with her.
[Statedef 9]
Thinking about how that will affect the project tomorrow.
[Statedef 10]
Thinking about how I will be able to finish it tomorrow and make it for training tomorrow.
[stateno 10, 1]
Changestate = stateno = 1
;Infinite state loop!!!
I wonder if I bit off too much than I can chew.... I wonder if that is an excuse for me to take the easy way out. I wonder if I can adapt, if I can balance all this out. I wonder if things are out of perspective.
If I were to die right now, I wonder what all the people who are depending on me would do.
Ivan and his microvault project,
Edelweis and her banners
Ross and her music,
Norvin and his music,
The team,
And I'm saying this as if all this stuff was forced upon me. No, I wanted this.
So yeah, I'll adapt.
This is nothing.
[Function= "Reu's thoughts"]
[Statedef 1]
Thinking about mom sick.
[Statedef 2]
Thinking about project for work.
[Statedef 3]
Thinking about getting project for work done as soon as possible so that I can leave early and be on time for training on wednesday.
[Statedef 4]
Thinking about the dragonboat team and training.
[Statedef 5]
Thinking about the Chakra trailer soundtrack that isn't completed yet.
[Statedef 6]
Thinking about the nyp musical poster that isn't ammended yet.
[Statedef 7]
Thinking about screwed I am for next month's canoeing nationals.
[Statedef 8]
Thinking about having to leave work at 7 to rush down to meet mom for dinner and collect her medicine with her.
[Statedef 9]
Thinking about how that will affect the project tomorrow.
[Statedef 10]
Thinking about how I will be able to finish it tomorrow and make it for training tomorrow.
[stateno 10, 1]
Changestate = stateno = 1
;Infinite state loop!!!
I wonder if I bit off too much than I can chew.... I wonder if that is an excuse for me to take the easy way out. I wonder if I can adapt, if I can balance all this out. I wonder if things are out of perspective.
If I were to die right now, I wonder what all the people who are depending on me would do.
Ivan and his microvault project,
Edelweis and her banners
Ross and her music,
Norvin and his music,
The team,
And I'm saying this as if all this stuff was forced upon me. No, I wanted this.
So yeah, I'll adapt.
This is nothing.
Saturday, July 17, 2004
I lost.
Damn old geezer.
When the water is calm, I can catch, I can pull.
When its choppy, I lose feeling.
Not enough training in choppy water.
And sensei's constant suanings.
Sometimes I feel so retarded. I want to beat these buggers who have been rowing for so many years when I've spent only 3 months in the K1.
And I feel like all I'm doing is not enough.
And I am supposed to lead this team when I am this pathetic?
Met up with Hong in the aft.
It was nice my bro again.
Remembered the time when we would meet up everyday to train. How I said I wanted to beat him.
He was the one who kept me in the team for all these years.
Yet I couldn't beat him by the time he left.
And it seems after he left I had forgotten my promise to him.
But today I remembered.
I still have a target to reach.
Damn old geezer.
When the water is calm, I can catch, I can pull.
When its choppy, I lose feeling.
Not enough training in choppy water.
And sensei's constant suanings.
Sometimes I feel so retarded. I want to beat these buggers who have been rowing for so many years when I've spent only 3 months in the K1.
And I feel like all I'm doing is not enough.
And I am supposed to lead this team when I am this pathetic?
Met up with Hong in the aft.
It was nice my bro again.
Remembered the time when we would meet up everyday to train. How I said I wanted to beat him.
He was the one who kept me in the team for all these years.
Yet I couldn't beat him by the time he left.
And it seems after he left I had forgotten my promise to him.
But today I remembered.
I still have a target to reach.
Friday, July 16, 2004
Was damn stressed out thinking about how to fascilitate training in the early afternoon. Then boss tells me to wait for him to come back from meeting before I leave for training.
That would make me late... and I needed to brief the seniors and talk to the exco so badly. I was damn evil... wanted to just leave at 5 regardless of what would happen.
Then a miracle happened, my small thoughtless plea was heard by him and he let me go off and told me to "better train harder!". And then I felt so bad.
Sometimes we really get what we don't deserve. Boss is great, he understands. Thats why I am willing to do more awesome work haha.
Training went pretty well.
Thankfully it was organized. I see so much hope in so many of the juniors. And I really need to depend on the seniors right now to forge their bonds with their juniors and small groups.
Finally gave a short speech after the rest of the exco did tonight. Alot of thinking into it, and I almost forgot what I wanted to say. But remembered in the end. Given our present situation I hope that it will inspire or challenge some of the guys.
So things are looking up. This Regetta is ours ;)
That would make me late... and I needed to brief the seniors and talk to the exco so badly. I was damn evil... wanted to just leave at 5 regardless of what would happen.
Then a miracle happened, my small thoughtless plea was heard by him and he let me go off and told me to "better train harder!". And then I felt so bad.
Sometimes we really get what we don't deserve. Boss is great, he understands. Thats why I am willing to do more awesome work haha.
Training went pretty well.
Thankfully it was organized. I see so much hope in so many of the juniors. And I really need to depend on the seniors right now to forge their bonds with their juniors and small groups.
Finally gave a short speech after the rest of the exco did tonight. Alot of thinking into it, and I almost forgot what I wanted to say. But remembered in the end. Given our present situation I hope that it will inspire or challenge some of the guys.
So things are looking up. This Regetta is ours ;)
Thursday, July 15, 2004
Spirit of an idiot.
When you wake up in the bus to find it pouring outside.
When some of the team have morning classes and aren't going for training.
When your only partner just called to say shes not coming down.
When you look up and the rain doesn't look like its going to stop anytime soon.
And you just brave through the rain, your shoes and berms wet, just to shiver as you change in kallang toilet, then take your boat down and start to paddle in the deserted waters of kallang basin at 7:40am.
Not thinking about all the reasons why you should call of training today. But just doing, like an idiot.
I guess hong was right in a way, I do deserve to go there, receive command, and do, receive command, and do.
Haha but I dunwan!
I'd rather row.
Glad I went down to row today, Cougar and I are getting even faster. Sprinting even even faster hahahaha.
Almost there.... this sat, I'll beat Sensei.
When you wake up in the bus to find it pouring outside.
When some of the team have morning classes and aren't going for training.
When your only partner just called to say shes not coming down.
When you look up and the rain doesn't look like its going to stop anytime soon.
And you just brave through the rain, your shoes and berms wet, just to shiver as you change in kallang toilet, then take your boat down and start to paddle in the deserted waters of kallang basin at 7:40am.
Not thinking about all the reasons why you should call of training today. But just doing, like an idiot.
I guess hong was right in a way, I do deserve to go there, receive command, and do, receive command, and do.
Haha but I dunwan!
I'd rather row.
Glad I went down to row today, Cougar and I are getting even faster. Sprinting even even faster hahahaha.
Almost there.... this sat, I'll beat Sensei.
Wednesday, July 14, 2004
Working overtime till 9-10pm kinda sux....
But being able to go early for training the next day rocks.
All the sleepless nights, the stressing out, the brain storming...
Today was the first training with the juniors.
I was never so nervous for training before, but thankfully, more excited than nervous. The system was quite a success. Much more order, purpose, and bonding than all my 3 years watching the team. I'm so proud of all the seniors, and I know I can depend on Jo, Louis and Za. Ben was supportive too, woot.
Its pretty fun, taking all that you've learnt from the years in leadership training camps, the years instructing taekwondo, heading the prefectorial board, presidenting the piano ensemble, and formulating a hopefully ideal system for the team. It didn't go entirely according to plan but hey, maybe somethings just have to be impromptu.
So our first step was a success. It gives us an advantage for the next few more difficult steps ahead.
I can't wait for the team to see what we have installed for them next.
Charge! ;)
But being able to go early for training the next day rocks.
All the sleepless nights, the stressing out, the brain storming...
Today was the first training with the juniors.
I was never so nervous for training before, but thankfully, more excited than nervous. The system was quite a success. Much more order, purpose, and bonding than all my 3 years watching the team. I'm so proud of all the seniors, and I know I can depend on Jo, Louis and Za. Ben was supportive too, woot.
Its pretty fun, taking all that you've learnt from the years in leadership training camps, the years instructing taekwondo, heading the prefectorial board, presidenting the piano ensemble, and formulating a hopefully ideal system for the team. It didn't go entirely according to plan but hey, maybe somethings just have to be impromptu.
So our first step was a success. It gives us an advantage for the next few more difficult steps ahead.
I can't wait for the team to see what we have installed for them next.
Charge! ;)
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