Saw Boon San in school today.

Was good to talk with him again, haha also interesting exchanging info and updating each other on the rest of the old batch.

Then he posed a question which slapped me back to reality somewhat.

It sounded good at first,

But then their training days are on tues and thursday, sat and sun. Which means I won't be able to see the team on land training anymore.



Stupid Reu, are you so arrogant to think that they cannot manage without you?

Maybe there's more to pass down to him, maybe he's not ready yet.... maybe I'm not ready yet.

Its hard to think that after all this time of careful planning, no one will be there to move the chess pieces in place for them anymore.

I know that the girls will be alright, Jo, Za, and the future one.

But bugger's concerns about the silent killer, and the new one is so enthusiastic, with so much potential, but am worried that he will get careless.

Bugger said to teach them as much as possible.

There was an evening that under a barrage of heated sms he insisted that we teach them how to fish and not feed them. I hate it when he's right.



Heh, its already happening, the past preventing one from moving on.

I need to let go.

Whats with the auntie security guard near the swimming pool?!

I find it downright ridiculous that she doesn't allow ppl to swim in the pool when its raining.

I mean, doesn't she know the difference between a normal shower, and a thunderstorm?

Doesn't she know that if there is no collision in the wind paths, no friction between the water molecules will occur = no static electricity = NO LIGHTNING!!!

And the wind was clearly moving in a linear path.




Anyway, in a way she cares lah. So love wins. And good behaviour on my part. Doh.





The recruitment drive is really killing my canoeing and music programmes!

Haiz... in a way, still want to help Jo, Za, Louis and Dennis out I guess. Idiotic rite.... still not letting go. Maybe until I secure myself with the other team I can still help out lah, yeah.



Did HIIT in the pool with Dennis, Jonathan and PC today.

Haha Jonathan complained dizzy after that, Dennis said felt like throwing up.

Was quite challenging. Did pullups after that, then weights.

Saw the big head and the PHD. The big breasted was supposed to come but was late so didn't get to see him haha.

Rowed yesterday....

Capsized for the first time since... national championships. The resistance caught the wave at a funny angle and I tilted.... usually would be able to swerve back but... dunno what happened. Maybe I didn't think it would be possible for me to capsize in Jaguar... since haven't tasted kallang water in so long. But then anyway I did. And was like "OMG! I CAPSIZED!" haha.



First day of the recruitment drive today. Can't help but feel abit sad and worried for the team. Then again some of them are taking it seriously.

I wonder if this team will fall again to what happened last time. I hope not. It really is going to be a huge waste of time and potential if that happens. Then again, perhaps the only way for people to relish what they have otherwise take forgranted, and strive for more, is to be put in a situation where they are forced to see what they have taken forgranted.

Running today was more tiring than usual.... during cool down I realized that I had not changed into my silvershoes! Argh...

Didn't think that the difference would be so great. Bowerman's shoes really help with form and in turn make running less tiring somehow. haha. Seriously, will only buy that brand of running shoes from now on.

After training we played waterpolo in the pool. Was damn farny lah....

People just calling out the name of whoever had the ball... and people passing the ball to the wrong team.

Then the water splashing... hahahaha, damn retarded.

And the funniest part was when louis had the ball at one time, then everyone started chanting his name very quickly to try to get him to pass to them.

Had initiation for the new guys exco yesterday haha.

Brought them to make their tags yesterday.

Still remember Hong and I hunted for the bloody place for so long. Quite nostalgic, looking for the underground hidden passage to the place all over again.

Then showed them Chung Sing.. crap forgot the spelling again. To look at the specs for the shirt and find out pricing.

Then Louis went off with his missus, and heeedaryarhg asked about dinner so met her and Jas with Dennis.





Met hong today for secret training before db training.

Still amazing what I can learn from him. In a way, some things never change, his predictions and advises got me where I am now, this also makes me worry about his future prediction for me. I wonder if I will be able to cope.

I just love living a care free life, and he just loves slapping me back to reality. Hahaha.



DB training went well. They did well, proud of em. Ohhh Melvin's birthday too. Managed to errr... congratulate him ahuahuahuahuahau.


And I find my recollections of the days are getting more and more summarized. Wonder if that means anything.

Oh well.

haha.

Just thought that was funny.

Its finally over.

The promise fulfilled.

Everything worked out as expected and planned. I didn't even have to call up the auxilliary plans.

Was smiling with pride when he went up. Yesterday was the biggest test. There at the fitness corner near the school track. In the face of the impossible challenge, he didn't give up. But in the end, it was completed. I believe it was a success.

I wonder if the other one was dissapointed? His journey, although longer in preperation has the greatest potential.

Alot of mixed feelings today.

Telling them about what happened last time. I almost couldn't continue, because some of it was too sad. And some of it too painful to relive in those few seconds. I remembered Seb and Louie... Jingwei, Roy, James, Chunyi, Joseph.... Hong.... Steph.

And now, although it may seem hard... it would be ironic if I didn't let go. Because these last few months of hard preperation was, just to make sure that this new exco will be a success.

Maybe now I can kick back and enjoy training again :)

Went for a run just now.

Yes, I'm supposed to be on break, holiday, off-season rest, whatever. But... feel like shit lah... late get fat then die.

Anyway ran 4k. Yeah, damn slack right, used to do 5k.


Was talking to him on friday. The more I talked to him, the more I knew that this was the one that would take up that position in an awesome manner, and I could foresee him leading them in much like I would like to.

I look at my wallet nowadays, and am constantly reminded that so soon, that burden shall be liften off and passed to another. The half broken dragon keychain will be carried by another. But ironically, the work doesn't end so soon for me. There is yet some amount of guidance and support I must give before I sum up my role in the team.

Mixed feeling, really.

At the start of the semester, I was sad that I had to give up that dream, in order to fulfill my promise to Ben, and to Hong.

Then came the endless nights of worrying, about how we could help the team to climb up slowly from its rock-bottom state.

And that's no exaggeration. We had a mere handful of seniors, there was conflict among them, and the last race had left many demoralized and many had thought of leaving.

In a way, the worrying never stops, maybe it won't until I finally leave.

Discipline, morale, team spirit, the camp, fellowship, conflicts, respect, the race preperations, the race... It seemed like it would never end.

I remembered a time when I grew so tired. Then, it subsided.

And now, although part of me would like things to continue, I know that its better this way.

Soon, I will be able to pursue that dream which I had given up previously.

And although I know it will hurt to severe my ties with them.

I know all too well the consequences of holding on to the past.




It prevents you from moving on - Too many times I have seen it affect the people around me.



Well, there's yet some work to do before that anyway.

Tomorrow I will put him through 'that' program.

Just as Hong did to me two years ago.

I hope that the memories of it will provide him with the courage as it did for me at times.

A few late nights later......

http://www.reubenkee.com/music/remixes/Legend%20of%20the%20Snake.mp3

Finished at last.


Hooray.

Wonder why guys are so dumb sometimes.

Some childish feelings or egoism make some people want to fight.

Maybe people are right to say that games and tv promote violence in the wrong way. They think that its heroic, or will make people respect them.

And perhaps it is natural instinct, testosterone, or the high of adrenaline that can be the persuasive factors as well.

This also makes me worry about myself. I'm also affected by the mediums as well. And i know that I too sometimes have had thoughts about disabling someone with violence.

"Whoever fights, doesn't matter who started it - loses". Someone once told me. True. You don't need to know where to hit to injure someone badly, but you don't have god mode on either, dumbass. If its in school, instant suspension. If its outside and its reported, you're going to court, and in most cases, end up in the boys home. Maybe that will help them? I've seen it calm a few of my friends down. But its a real waste of time and life.

Perhaps unlike the average guy, I know where to strike. So many points whereby the quickest poke can do more damage then a full blown punch to the chest.

Which is also probably why I am afraid of what could happen, should I ever lose control.

Maybe I'm finding my balance between heart and mind more and more each day. The heart wishes to do something, but the mind must filter it first. But if the mind wants to do something that the heart does not, then it cannot be accomplished.

Sometimes I wonder why I learnt this crap in the first place. Probably tv and games again, eh? I guess until I find out, I can use it to quell any fight before someone gets seriously hurt.





I saw them walk back and go into the toilet after him.

Immediately called for YX and JW to come with me into the toilet, in the hopes that they won't do anything funny if they see me or a large group of us around.

I prayed that I would not see any blood tonight.


Managed to cool off the other side abit. This time.


But I also wonder if the only way that some people will learn, is if they get what they want and end up hurt.



Sad.

Shit lah....

Went to the basketball court to shoot some hoops just now...

No one around, so did shooting drills.

Sunk about 40 balls, then the lights went *OUT*

Wtf? So I went to the other court near dome.

And the blardy lights were out also. Went nearer in disbelief, and turns out the whole court got barrier around it... upgrading again.

I swear, I've never come across a court that gets upgraded/repaired THAT many times.

That has got to be the 2nd-3rd time this year already! Why the chao bengs like to destroy the court so much?!

Anyway was damn dissapointed. One court was supposed to lights out at 12 midnight, the other at 11pm. But one's lighting cocked up, and the other had to be upgraded.

Frick lah.

Came home and did 100 pullups.

I think I'm quite slacked.... the last set of 20 can't do standard one...

Today was just a really slacked and lazy day. I shall do weights to compensate now.

Lets see... what's new....

Did a Metal Gear Solid 1-3 orchestral fusion remix....

http://www.reubenkee.com/music/remixes/Legend%20of%20the%20Snake.mp3



And am playing: Lord of the Rings: The third age.

Presentation of the game is awesome, and the music is just awesomer because its lord of the rings music! haha.

Pacing is kinda fast though.....

I know I was supposed to recap the final day of the race.

But perhaps some things are better left remembered as memories.



Its december already.

How time does fly.

I guess I'm sort of in limbo now.

Waiting for the blardy enlistment letter to come.

Till it does I don't know how to plan out anything.

Haiz.