Someonce told me that something we do with passion is like an addiction

And sometimes that addiction can make you numb

So if you keep away from it, you'll remember why you like it so much

I find it good to cycle my creative works, like designing, music, game creation

So none of them gets too bland

Because mozart didn't compose symphony after symphony

He did one, took a break, enjoyed life, remembered what it was to live, then wrote that in his next piece

Sometimes I wonder how ppl like Hee can do it for so long. Maybe passion is like stamina and can be trained to sustain for longer periods.

Twas a hard fight today.

Multiple cock ups.

Firstly, the balance was bad. Left side too light, right side too heavy. Drummer and coxswain couldn't compensate enough. So whole set boat was either leaning right or rocking alot.

Next, the pull just wasn't there. Couldn't feel it somehow. Maybe I was too concentrated on getting the boat calls at the right time.

Then towards the end, ITE came very close to our left side, this caused some of the guys to lose focus, worry about not last charge call not being audible, which heck, I was worried about too. The ITE drummer was bloody hell drumming like his life depended on it... when I screamed for the last charge, thank god I got a response. But some of the back rowers couldn't hear. Sigh.

But all in all, we came in first for that set, so we were lucky.

Stayed to watch gemax race. Felt weird watching them instead of being there with them. I could imagine ah hee's signals just by watching his hand actions on the boat. They lost to NUS. If only they had our original full crew, I know the result would've been different. Alot of good rowers were with NTU and I was with the pirates.

Tomorrow I need to stretch out more. Feel more water.

Tired of getting next best.

The second boat past the finish line is the first boat to lose.

A couple of days ago I got an email. Usually emails of appreciation are short and just a pat on the back when someone likes my work and would like to return some encouragement. But this one was one of the most interesting and touching. Editting his name just in case.





"About 4 years ago I signed up to join the United States Navy and became a sailor. I've undergone several years of stressful, theory intensive training to prepare me for my current job (I operate and maintain Nucler Power Plants on Aircraft Carriers) though none of those stresses could have prepared me for the ultimate trial by fire- a Recent 7 month deployment to the middle east.

It's such a strange feeling being on the other side of the world, away from family, friends, a culture and a lifestyle you've grown up with for such a sustained period of time. There's a great deal of stress to perform, due to the fact we're actively engaged in combat, as well as added stress of being away from commodities we take for granted (your bed, the phone, regular laundry services, internet, privacy). There were some days that burned me out long before noon, and I had nothing more to expect except five hours of watch later on and eventually getting into bed at around 2 in the morning.

You're at work 24 hours a day seven days a week. For 24 hours a day you're under the gun, and there's no real way to escape or to get away from there. Going outside only greets you with Aircraft exhaust and the scream of the catapaults as they send F-18s loaded with explosives off and away. The waters are grey and hazy and the sky above burns. At night the surrounding waters are pitch black except for the distant, pinprick glow of oil refineries burning off toxic gasses in thier towering smoke stacks, and the blinding landing lights of the planes, as they touch down on the flight deck returning from thier runs. You begin to realize just how much you miss all the really dumb things you never noticed you cared about before- Trees, grass, birds, nature in general, new people, new faces, home...

It's easy to fall into a routine and destroy yourself burning the midnight oil late every night repairing equipment and performing maintenance on machinery as old as you are. There are days, sometimes weeks when you'll never go above the hangar deck, and you'll never see the sun or the sky at all, leaving only the cold, artificial light of the flourecent bulbs to lead the way.

I would have lost my mind if it weren't for my PS2, my laptop, and several musical selections stemmed from various artists, music both VG related and not.

Mister Kee, Allow me to extend my personal thanks to you and your superb mastery of music and emotion. Your works are nothing short of brilliant. They are touching, heartfelt, inspirations- wonderful, exotic and creative. Ascention to Cosmo Canyon, Legend of Snake, your Naruto Piano single, they are all masterful creations; touching songs that kept me sane, calm, and collected in troublesome times in my life. All I would have needed was an arrangement from that infamous Parasite Eve Main Theme and I would have been in seventh heaven. Reflections, your Shenmue piece, was at the top of my playlist for almost the entire deployment, and is by far the best of your work. Mister Kee, your music allowed me to escape a place that was unescapable, and allowed me to leave behind my stress' and worries, to forget where I was at and travel someplace else. I was able to unwind and overcome.

Your arrangements, along with those from a few other artists, were key in helping me get through that warzone, and helping me cope with the slurry of problems I had to face every morning. I was able to get away, even if only for a few minutes, and it made all the difference in the world.

So from a sailor, finally back home where he belongs, Thank You Reuben Kee. I sincerely hope you take pride in knowing that your works of art has made a direct, positive impact on at least on person's life. You helped me through the single most stressful time in my entire life. Your music will stay close to my heart for years to come. I wish you luck in your future endevors and I hope you continue your brilliant tradition of amazing work. You have my gratitude.


Sincerely,

~MM2 ----------------

USS --------, C-----"




Makes you really relook at your life, eh? Army can be a scary place at times, but nothing beats an actual war zone.

I hope that he will be safe.

Cheng Xun's ord'ing tomorrow.

I think this is the first time I'm feeling sad that someone's ord'ing. CX is probably my favourite running partner. Its so hard to find someone who is compatible for running. They're either too slow until you have to leave them behind, or are too fast until you can break into a fit trying to keep up with them. It was perfect because he was usually slightly faster than me, so I could push myself that extra bit to keep up. We also could also click well because we're two of the very few "ang moh pai" around camp.

Now, I guess I may be back to solo running again. Sigh.

Race this weekened. I really dunno what the heck I'm feeling. I've been racing for 5 years now, so its not like there's anything particularly new to be excited about. And its not the first time I'm going to call for the final charge for a race.

Maybe its because our trial set timings have been so poor that's been bothering me. Can I blame it on the current?

Maybe its because I kept calling too early for the final charge on saturday.

Maybe its because if the final charge is too early or too late, it could cost us that crucial split second to determine the winner.

Maybe its because I've never screwed up the engine boosts call before, so theoretically speaking, the odds are greater that I'll screw it up for the actual race?

Maybe its because the future of the team is so damn uncertain, yet I've placed so much into it. Stepping out of Nteam for awhile to concentrate on safsa. Though I know I still have much to learn from them, but I just will not be able to give 100% into both of them in the current state of things. And I know my big bros will understand, since most of them were in safsa before anyway.

Maybe I'm just worrying needlessly because I only got 3-4 hours of sleep last night because the cadets and trainees like to harrass me so late at night and so early in the morning, and the damn fire alarm went off at 3am, and the stupid reservists dunno how to keep their damn keys properly.

So the new super expensive state of the art computer that I ordered came to the office.

Probably cant state the price here.... but to sum it up its got Pentium D processing, with 2 gigs of 677mhz of ram (fastest shit), plus fastest everything else. Though.... the thing was hell to set up. I've never seen a computer with so many wires before... think I sat there are stared at it like for 5 minutes and would have kept at it if daniel wasn't there to help out.

One thing I notice is that it still takes pretty long to load something like... photoshop. But I can open up... 3 photoshops at the same time and it will load together in the same time it did to load 1 photoshop XD.

And I managed to salvage my passed away portable hard drive by taking it apart and turn it into an internal hard drive. The downloading spree begins again hahahahahaha.

Race is next week. Fuzzy wuzzy.

Tired.

Every day is a fight to get that one extra hour of sleep.

Its not like I'm forced to have this kind of schedule. I know I put myself into it, because I expect alot from myself.

And I know I have it alot better than alot of people so I should be thankful.

I'll adapt, acclimatize, etc, eventually.

I need a rest day.

Can't keep going like this for much longer.

We got chased out of kallang basin todoy because "we weren't wearing life jacks." Now.... it would be fine if the MPA started checking now, even if for the past years no one gave a damn about them in the drahgun boat, BUT, there really was no need for that asshole to chase us off in such a condescending, threatening manner. Is that how is mother brought him up? Quite sad, really.

Especially since he was from the MPA, you'd think they would have better social etiquiette or be decently polite. It really makes the authority look very bad.

Sigh. More ugly singaporeans.

I hate the damn sun lah.

Not enough sleep these past few days.

Hahaha.... going mad already. Blargh.

I just want to lie down and watch anime. BUT THE DAMNED EXTERNAL HARD DISK HAD TO GO AND DIE ON ME.

Yeah, so I finally completed part two:

http://www.reubenkee.com/music/remixes/Legend%20of%20the%20Snake%202%20-%20Snake%20Versus%20Dragon.mp3