Am blasting Flight of the dragon which I uploaded to pathos a couple of days ago. One good thing about doing something impromptu is that when you listen to it later it sounds... new, almost suprises you haha. Its nice in a different way. Anyway's it was composed for DC's stage for the upcoming MUGEN project. Depicting an ancient mystical dragon which his country has summoned to help them win a raging war in times of desperation. I love songs with backgrounds XD

These past few days have been a time of reflection for me for my training goals. Ever since the canoeists and dragonboaters have their land training days on the same day, I've been put under some considerable amount of stress. Normally the dragonboaters would come first, however the upcoming canoeing ivp is coming up, and what Samantha said is true... "dragonboat ivp is in june, whereas canoeing ivp is in march." So not only should I train with the team and commit more to canoeing, but I should also train with Sebas, my T2 partner.

If I looked at things in terms of competition dates, this would all be a simple matter. However, this period of time is also crucial to bond with the dragonboaters and try to retain our numbers for the race in the future. Especially with the new guys coming in.

Plus, it just hit me on monday that there were two stabbingly contradictory reasons for me to train in either teams.

I joined canoeing because I was dissapointed in the team, because I felt that I had misplaced my trust in them. For going for extra trainings everyday with hong, for running until I sprained my damn knee, for working so hard to catch up to the seniors standard. But in the end, all the seniors left, left me with a team which went into last june race, and whos captain said that "he didn't expect us to win."

I was so pissed off, I would not waste all these trainings and I believed that I could excel further without the uncommited members of the team weighing me down. So I would go for my own race, without them, and prove to myself that I could win something for I would not be able to do so with the team.

But come the new semester, the new captaincy, the new team. This new, young team. Not a single member in the guys team which I knew when I first joined. Perhaps, some new hope again. But in the end, problems with commitment and numbers. Perhaps some problems in the leadership, but some of them are trying. And it saddens me to hear of such problems all of a sudden which I feel either

1. I could have played a more constructive part and perhaps curtailed the matter
or
2. Are so trivial which these people cannot solve for themselves, and in turn blow things up.


But I still want to try to help this team out. Its not about winning anything in this matter, its about my responsibility to the seniors, to make this team thrive.

So when training days clashed and I was forced to choose which one on monday.... I could not. For my reasons to train in either opposed each other so greatly. I needed to sort this out. So I went to Bishan gym, Shimona came along and was good company.

And so, after much thought, it is done. My reason to train IN canoeing FOR dragonboat. My reason to compete in the upcoming canoeing race for the dragonboaters.

But alas, it shall not be revealed here.

So yes, I shall train with the canoeists and commit totally to the upcoming march race, but I shall still keep in contact with the dragonboaters, and try to eat with them after training.

And Samantha said something about land training picking up to everyday. Then perhaps I can sneak back to db for a while...









Rowed alone on tuesday. Its nice when the whole of kallang basin is empty, and its only you in the vast body of water. Even nicer when dark clouds cover the sky to shade you from the damned sun, even nicer still when it drizzles lightly and every square inch of water around you dances to the rapid beat of the clouds.

But alas, the clouds were much darker on tuesday, much heavier, and sensing much danger in rowing alone in such conditions, I started to make my way back to SDBA. And the rain got heavier, and heavier until it was a huge storm. You could see strong winds blowing the rain as they hit the ground in huge waves. And every drop stabbed into my arms, my back, my face but worst of all, my eyes!

Thankfully I made it back to the pontoon in one piece and proceeded to keep the boats in the rain.

Just got back from another run.

Running at close to midnight is an interesting experience. Bishan park was deserted like I owned the whole place. Although some places were really very poorly lighted. They should fix that up.

Just 5 minutes into my run I felt a loose sensation in my left foot. Then thwap thwap thwap. Turns out the sole almost come out and was dangling by the back half. So I quickly flip flopped back home to change into the newbalance pair and went off again.

After the first 5km could feel some pain in my right ankle liao. Jia lat, must be careful and watch technique more. Plus need a new pair of shoes! This pair is more or les dead in terms of support. Did a measly amount of statics, including sensei's advanced pullups, then mosied on home. And did another 2.4km for the last stretch.

The road to get my running on track is not an easy one, but I swear that by the end of this semester, I shall solve this one last weak spot and become and all powerful all-rounder. Then, nothing shall stop me! Aha! Ahahahahah~!

Got a call earlier in the night at about 10pm, ah san called from the commandos camp. Stupid ass decided to wish me a happy new year, and prophesy about how I would get two letters, one asking me to be a pilot, the other asking me to go to the commandos camp. That bugger. Miss his crap sometimes.

Take care, Ah San,

Had an interesting recollection from last week's weights with the Dwarf. He was telling me of some new guy who joined the db team. During pushups, Ben told the new guys to stop while the seniors would continue, but the bugger continued to push. Until a little while later he went over to the drain, bent over and puked. Bwahahaha, and Winston's recap of it was, "he went suddenly went over to the drain, and 'BLAAAAAAAWRGH'ed. XD Winston said he almost broke out laughing.

Strong spirit in this new guy, but I wonder if he will be able to keep it up :/
Was talking with Thomas during training yesterday during training about the team... some new conflicts brought up, some old conflicts brought up. Its sad, really, so many problems going on in the team, people blaming the leaders. I know some are trying to make things better, I dunno about the rest. But I recalled something from the morning's sermon about people putting up false "concerns" over small matters concerning the community or team. And instead of facilitating the growth of the community as a whole, they split it up due to opinions and egos.

I guess every community or team has its problems, eh? But I also must not be the one to shake the team up by bringing these issues up.

Accountability to yourself, to your responsibilities, to those whom you look up to, and to those whom you lead.

If these things are not checked often, then things may just turn from bad to worse.




Anyway, on the way to Ben's house for Chinese new year I saw a lady sitted down by the side of the walkway in junction 8, leaning her head against the glass panel and her legs curled to her left side. Walked a few steps past and came to the conclusion that she couldn't be waiting for anyone in such an uncomfortable position. So I went over and asked her if she was ok.

Sure enough, the expression said it all, trying to put up an okay front with a faint smile. I sure as hell wasn't going to leave her in this state, so I asked her if she needed to go somewhere. Wondered if she needed to go to the doctor, but I think I saw some medication in her plastic bag and she said that she needed to get to the taxi stand. So I carried her bag and plastic bag and helped her up and over to get a taxi. Her hands cold, leaning more and more of her weight on my arm as she kept up a quick desperate pace.

We went to the nearest taxi and not to the front of the queue, so the driver told us to go to the front taxi, but I assured him that she really could not walk anymore.

I returned her things to her and left her in the care of the taxi driver. Walking away I wondered if I should have accompanied her in the taxi and made sure she got to where she was going. Stupid Reu. Anyway, she was in the hands of the driver now, and hopefully his compassion. I prayed for her and for the driver as I boarded the train to Yishun.


Went over to Jon's house and ransacked his room, then went to Ben's place and played blackjack.

After watching awhile to get a feel of the playing habits of some of the players, I played awhile. Winning and losing streak while playing safe formed a representative model of a sine curve - twice. So after an hour of playing I finally bet my last 10, doubled it in a win, and cut the curve in its highest positive peak.

Quite interesting how these people play. The gamblers table is full of superstition and traditions like, if you shake your leg it means you want to lose money; or flicking your card before revealing it, or blowing it. I was quite amused at Rendy's extremely slow method of revealing his cards. What's the point? when I take a card I just look at it immediately instead of hide it behind my other cards to slowly open it up. I guess I'm still influenced by Chua somewhat. Common people gamble with their superstitions. I go there to play a game based on probability and logic.

So I made 30 bucks today. And laughed at Jeremy, Darren and Rendy who lost cash.

You are a PHOENIX in your soul and your
wings make a statement. Huge and born of flame,
they burn with light and power and rebirth.
Ashes fall from your wingtips. You are an
amazingly strong person. You survive, even
flourish in adversity and hardship. A firm
believer in the phrase, 'Whatever doesn't kill
you only makes you stronger,' you rarely fear
failure. You know that any mistake you make
will teach you more about yourself and allow
you to 'rise from the ashes' as a still greater
being. Because of this, you rarely make the
same mistake twice, and are not among the most
forgiving people. You're extremely powerful and
wise, and are capable of fierce pride, passion,
and anger. Perhaps you're this way because you
were forced to survive a rough childhood. Or
maybe you just have a strong grasp on reality
and know that life is tough and the world is
cruel, and it takes strength and independence
to survive it. And independence is your
strongest point - you may care for others, and
even depend on them...but when it comes right
down to it, the only one you need is yourself.
Thus you trust your own intuition, and rely on
a mind almost as brilliant as the fire of your
wings to guide you.You are eternal and because
you have a strong sense of who and what you
are, no one can control your heart or mind, or
even really influence your thinking. A symbol
of rebirth and renewal, you tend to be a very
spiritual person with a serious mind - never
acting immature and harboring a superior
disgust of those who do. Likewise, humanity's
stupidity and tendency to want others to solve
their problems for them frustrates you
endlessly. Though you can be stubborn,
outspoken, and haughty, I admire you greatly.


*~*~*Claim Your Wings - Pics and Long Answers*~*~*
brought to you by Quizilla



Walau... more charboh quic pics.

Just had a nice run.

5km to bishan park. Walau... haven't ran so much in a long time, very chuan. Then did situps at the fitness corner and stretching. Almost got carried away and overstretched something! Luckily the 5k was a thorough warmup. There was this teenage indian couple.... when I entered the park the guy was lying ONTOP of the girl doing who knows what on the sheltered bench. When I left some 15 minutes later, they were in the same position. Wtf? Want to lovey dovey also don't so cho-loh can or not. That stunt looked damn newbie and disgusting...

Walk/jogged back for awhile then did sprints. 2 sets and almost died liao, slightly wheezing so I figured should get home alive and just walk back.

Feel very song now.

Raining... it keep raining today... why didn't it rain yesterday?!
Can't go out to play basketball... can't go out for a run.

Chinese new year has been the same old thing this year round. The same old stuff. Same olf places, same old overy nice people. Same old uncle who has such a punchable face. Was watching the ad for this documentary at one relative's house:

Some charboh from a third world country who raised in the US went back to see her family. And her mother just cried and cried and hugged her and kept holding her hand. Sometimes it really is wonderful what a mother's love is like. I mean, she lost her when she was a baby, and now this huge adult comes home to see her and she just cries and wants to shower her with love again.

Perhaps that part of the world is less modernized, but I believe that if this happened somewhere else in the world, both parties would be like, "why should I accept her?" or worse "She doesn't have a right to be in my life for leaving me". But the mother didn't care, she just broke all uncertainties and said "screw all that, forget what happened in the past, I've been looking for you for so long and I'm just going to cry and be with you right now."

That's nice.....
or freaky, but still nice.

Stupid sore throat still won't go away. 2 days without training and I feel like a fat shit, so I jio'd The_Dwarf to go down to bishan for weights. We reached at about 4:20 and found out that they were closing so we went to his house condo gym instead. And that crazy winston can do the whole machine's maximum tonnage for seated fly. Well done, dwarf. That is very scary indeed.

Maybe I'll go for a run later. Haven't ran in... 7 days! crap!


Anyway, stagearts came back with the finalized draft script on monday, at last! Haha, its pretty awesome! Very well thought out twists and the concept to merge with the performances is sui generis. Got to secure some more melodies tho. Omg, next monday's jap class spelling quiz is... 60-80 characters! wtf?! Must wack some by tonight... ikuzo!

Sick with a sore throat and headache. Why the heck is it everytime I get sick it starts with a sore throat.

Then from here I can either:

1. Go for training, and end up with a full blown high fever like usual.

2. Rest up and hope it goes away (what I did today)

Which would be unlikely because it will probably be:

3. Rest up and find out that its even worse tomorrow and this damn thing will ruin my next few days.

So hell... should I go out for a run tonight? Get this over and done with once and for all. This is ruining my training schedule.

Was quite shacked during canoeing training yesterday.

After a short warmup we did 500m sprints over and over. Jag improved alot, I only managed to come in on par with him for 2 sets, and kept coming in slightly behind him for the rest.

Then we ran out of water. Joy. And sensei wouldn't let us go and refill because it was too far. So after that he made us do 200 meter sprints... crashed into jag and capped... then got so dehydrated that my lip wouldn't come down everytime I smiled.... just got stuck up there.

Then kept doing sprints until we were so shacked and sensei kept telling us "do a good set and it will be the last one". So naturally we went all out... only to hear that same old thing time and time again. We were cheated!

Was completely drained after that, I sms'd Jeremy that I wouldn't be going down for dragonboat training later, went home and ate 3 packets of korean noodles, and promptly hit the bed.

Back to work on mugen....

Had a pretty good time today. Miss Lina's class is really interesting. You can tell alot of thought went into wanting to engage us to think creatively in the direction she wanted.

Went to the recruitment drive at north canteen. Sad lah... still so few guys. I think they just don't care. They take this team forgranted, and perhaps something must be done about that.

The only way for people to realize that they are taking something forgranted is to take it away from them.

Perhaps some tough discipline will have to be dealt. I wonder what ben will do.

Asked a couple of people to join... couldn't secure their name and number but they said the usual "I'll consider".

Went to the courts to ask around, then played a match with Rendy against Jeremy and Hui. Hui's layups are pretty good. Rendy was pretty amusing. He played for the school team for what, 5 years? And now his shots have a poor average ahahahaha. Happens when you gym for too long. The same amonut of effort you used to shoot the ball last time will send the ball way over the board after some time of strength training, so you will need some time to recalibrate.

Needless to say we won eventually :p, I was much more on form today and Rendy could respond well to the openings.

Had a long talk in the clubroom after that, then gymed with Jeremy. Then went for Piano Ensemble practice.

CY came up with a pretty nice melody, and Josh still fumbling around his melody again.

*sigh* Thinking about NS stuff... everyone thinks I should go for commando, S and H said I looked like I came out from the commandos... what crap. Hell, from what I heard about some of the things they have to do... as in not physical stuff but... misc stuff which I would probably be shot at for posting on the internet... lets just say I'm not so sure. Perhaps I'll just downgrade and be a clerk or something, go home every night and play games before lying on my soft comfy bed, Ahahaha!

Perhaps not.

Only thing stopping me is the fear that that old runners knee will resurface with all that insane running.

I'd rather row a boat.

I have a jabbed in index finger... thanks to playing NETBALL with haida, pei zhi and jasmine. How guniang is that?! An INJURED FINGER from playing NETBALL! Argh... dunno why Haida is so keen to play netball anyway, basketball was pretty fine... although I messed up like hell. The ball waaaay to bouncy, no control and the sun was perfectly parked so that it would stab you every time you looked up at the ring. Good job, sun.

Missed training last night to work on the MUGEN project. Got alot of work done, quite pleased with that, but part of the reason why I was glad I had an excuse not to go was because I would have to choose to go for either canoeing or dragonboat training... and I guess I'm not ready to make that choice yet.

Its not the same team... as when I first came in, with all my older brothers. It sucks being the only survivor from my batch, everyone's new... except ben, doh! But I guess no matter how much I like or hate them... their still MY team.

And to choose between that and training for ivp canoeing isn't that easy. Probably because the reason why I joined canoeing in the first place is because I was dissapointed in the team so long ago during that race.

Heh... so indecisive sometimes. Always too much heart, no guts to get down and dirty.

Was watching the training and race vids during recruiment drive today. Got quite sad seeing the old team. Missing them, missing hong.

Was also quite dissapointed in the turn up for the guys for the recruitment drive. Only a few guys. Where was everyone else? Don't they know that if we screw up this recruitment drive we won't have enough guys for the upcoming race AGAIN? Nah, the year 1s don't know. Do they? There's only so much I can do sometimes... I don't want to go for another race where we don't have enough guys again. We will definately not get lucky and get a silver with 19 out of 22 rowers like last regetta. Definately not.

Just spent 5 hours finishing up a 4 piano arrangement for a boss theme medley from final fantasy.

Glad its finally done... it was starting to be a pain in the arse. But overall 4 piano arrangements are damn fun to do. If 2 pianos playing are called a duet... then 4 is a ... quartet.... yeah a quartet, cool. http://pathos.i-xcell.com.

Getting pressured to go for canoeing land training and miss dragonboat land training because the canoeing ivp is in march, whereas db ivp is in june.

I dun see what's the big deal... why do both days have to clash and be on the same day and time anyway? I'm the canoeist I am because of the dragonboat land training that Ben instructs us with, and I've managed to come so far in so little time with his and my own extra training, so I'm probably on the right track.

This period is crucial for the db guys team... we need to get it together as a team and hopefully maintain better numbers for the june race. Then there's also my responsibility as a team member to the canoeists, to sebas, to samantha. Argh... I need to kage bunshin no jutsu.

I hope either team will swap land training days or something. We can't share the weights room forever anyway. So currently I'm torn between trying to help get it together with the guys team, and canoeing ivp. Crap.

DB training last night was quite siong... 10 rounds. I fell back to try to push willy for awhile before I picked up the pace again and omg, ankle hurt abit for awhile. Wtf... spotted Jonny having major technical problems with his leg too. I worry when i see him drop out like that. That bugger is too strong-headed that when he finally gives up, it may be too late and have aggrevated his injury further.

On one hand, if you stop running for a period of time to let the injury heal, it will not only make you want to run more, but may affect the pride somewhat.

Come to think of it, my runners knee hasn't acted up in a looooooong time. But there's always still that fear that it will come back. Perhaps stopping me from pushing further during running. Heh... the mental obstacles we create for ourselves sometimes...

We're all damaged. Sometimes you need to lay off to heal your physical injuries, sometimes you need to push harder to heal your emotional injuries.

Argh!

Lost to Jag yesterday in the T1. Balance was crap due to swapping into the T1 for the last 3 sets from the T2 with Sebas. Can't let such trivial things affect your stroke, Reu... it was totally off. Completely crap, you could't show sensei what your capable of.

Need to punch lower upon entry, need to train harder!

Went to eat lunch with Charmain at kallang market then headed back to sdba for dragon boat. A couple of alumni guys came down. Good to see those old farts around. Headed to beach road for supper with the guys after that and had an awesome dinner despite my usual jap stall being closed. Ahahaha, I found _another_ jap stall! :D~ Ate a Chicken egg rice bowl with an extra bowl of rice, a sinful plate of carrot cake and ended with that awesome beef ball soup.

Going to wack something today... pullups or weights or something. frick.

Been having problems with blogger these past few days... can't view the main page for some reason.

Well, anyway, Pathos is finally up. Spent a good 4 days on this website and well... I'm glad its done and over with. But all in all, it was worth it. Got to share some music with some old friends :)

http://pathos.i-xcell.com

Yesterday's canoeing sea training was awesome. Beat Jag by a hair's length for the first set. Second set tied, third came in ahead by alot! Fourth had a godawful start and ended up behind by alot, fith set draw. I wish Sensei was there...

That bugger has my utmost respect as a canoeist. Throughout each set I kept an eye out for opportunities to play around like Ben would, to try and psyche out my opponents. But I just could not pull away from him, cept the third set, no idea what happened there.

Then for doubles with Sebastian, 1st set tied with Ezra and Melvin, second set pulled away by alooooot, third set pulled away by even moooore! Ahuahuahua. Sebas is an awesome rower. I'm starting to get to trust him more and more in the boat. We'll discuss on how to improve each set, and inbetween crack lots of jokes and sing songs like "in the jungle" in two parts while the other school canoeists are giving us odd looks as they struggle by. Finally for the last set we challenged the K2 of team Jag and Naresh to a race. We managed to pull away and win the set :D

So within just half a year I have made it up to the top 3 in the team. I still need to get much better because opens are versus the JCs in 3 months time for the race - get past Jag and to number one! But he's not going to make it easy, before we left off he made an amusing remark. "Whoa man, all your extra training really paid off! You've improved alot. But you know something? Go and train all you want, because next week, I'm going to beat you."

And so it was that I went to school to do weights circuit immediately after rowing. We'll see, Jag, we'll see...


Met Jonny and later Jeremy to do weights at school. I'm sensing an increasingly amount of determination in Jonny. Quite interesting indeed. Recent events have perhaps given him a reason to fight for. And I was right, after asking him why he wanted to win. There's no greater pushing factor than to prove some people wrong sometimes. Yes, I will help him prove them wrong.

Sometimes people tell me that they want to win because "they want to." or "it feels good to win." I think that it takes much much more if you want to strive for something. Because in the boat, when you're lagging behind by half a boat, will that reason be strong enough to slap yourself back to reality and tell yourself to get over your tiredness and breathlessness to achieve your goal? Or will it be enough for you to charge into your opponent to deliver an attack while risking a point. I don't think so. I've had that reason before.

It never worked.


Went to eat KOREAN BBQ!!! with Jonny at seoul garden after weights. Ate so much chicken I worry for their population now. But the tom yam soup was the bomb! Even though I may have added too much szechuan and salted veggies in... Jonny was like "Walau the soup is too salty" hahahaha.

Ok back to work on the website. School starts tomollo, woohoo.

Well another year has passed. Don't feel much has changed anyway, whats the big deal?

I think stuff like new year is just to give those people who like to party an excuse to go out. And being the solitary guy that I am, spent the night working on a website for my music. Finally got a good server with Eli, and this flash website is going to rock.

Watched about 2 minutes of the countdown show at sentosa on tv. Rendy won the hunk of the year or something, hahaha. Good job, Rendy, made the dragonboat team proud. Darren called me and was like "did you see it?!" then He seemed a little distracted and incoherant... I think he was drunk again. Sometimes I wonder if he's drinking too much.

And life goes on I guess. Meeting up with stage arts tomorrow supposedly to discuss the musical after the long break. Hope this semester won't be too busy.