Shrinking.... ran too much. Argh. Knee spoiling... could feel the asthma slowly constricting the passage of air, which was kinda fun because its a really rare feeling. But had to stop pushing because I only know there's one result if I kept wheezing and going at that speed. Should have changed breathing rhythm but didn't think we were so close to the end mark. The joy of running through a blind route.
Was asked about the hardening training today. I really hate not being able to tell him some things, but it is a forbidden training technique. And it was banned from the federation for a reason. Perhaps another time, when I'm feeling less responsible.
Sleepy as hell. Quite a big day tomorrow, even though I feel like skipping it. Sometimes you just gotta do the responsible thing, cause people are depending on me there too.
Doesn't mean I'll be going on time though.
XD
Thursday, August 31, 2006
Tonight's run: 11:32mins. Ehh... tot I was going quite fast. Bloody truck and motor cycle travelling in the middle of the road and in my way. It was damn cold and slippery tonight cause it was raining earlier in the night. The metal drains are slippery, kept slipping on the toe-push part of the stride when I went over them.
Anyway I'm quite fed up with all the burnings everywhere these past few weeks. Its bad enough that its all over the place, but please, if you don't have the common sense to burn your rubbish in a bin or container, and instead do it right in the middle of the pathway, don't blame me if I come along and smite the ashes during my run. And don't bother threatening me about what bad omen that brings, because all your little demons are afraid of me.
Anyway, had a small talk with ZL on saturday.
Who would have thought that he would be the one keeping the team together now. Part of me wishes that he didn't ask that of me. Right now team singapore seems too big a burden for me to bear. I've learnt my lesson of biting off more than I can chew. Perhaps things will clear up soon? Ironically, we are approaching the situation for movement which AN had in mind so long ago. Still not sure if I should pursue that path, but now is not the best time to think of that either.
Statics is taking hella long.
Anyway I'm quite fed up with all the burnings everywhere these past few weeks. Its bad enough that its all over the place, but please, if you don't have the common sense to burn your rubbish in a bin or container, and instead do it right in the middle of the pathway, don't blame me if I come along and smite the ashes during my run. And don't bother threatening me about what bad omen that brings, because all your little demons are afraid of me.
Anyway, had a small talk with ZL on saturday.
Who would have thought that he would be the one keeping the team together now. Part of me wishes that he didn't ask that of me. Right now team singapore seems too big a burden for me to bear. I've learnt my lesson of biting off more than I can chew. Perhaps things will clear up soon? Ironically, we are approaching the situation for movement which AN had in mind so long ago. Still not sure if I should pursue that path, but now is not the best time to think of that either.
Statics is taking hella long.
Wednesday, August 30, 2006
Plans for camp and post-ns still too grey. Too many routes to take.
Pat just showed me the door to entrepreneurship. Seems pretty straightforward. A private company would be ideal for a niche market. Can always set up another Public account for investment of shares later on. Forgot that I can also ask Robin about this.
I need Hong's opinion.
Maybe I'm thinking too much. Just pursue the passion while keeping things grounded.
Met a new piano today. Quite well tuned, which was very suprising. Did you know that every piano has a unique voice? That one had a nice mellow voice for an upright piano. I heard its melody. It sounded sad, almost fearful. Perhaps it was the surroundings.
Was ambushed by some hyper-active dog while playing piano today.
Still remember the steps to approach a canine without startling it.
- Do not face your body toward it.
- Do not hold eye contact for more than 3 seconds for first 3 times.
- Do not move area that it is sniffing and licking until it stops one cycle.
- Do not lower your body toward it on first encounter.
- Do not move position until it breaks away first.
- Do not speak loudly.
Once that is done, matching the dog's approach is the tricky part. Different personalities require different approaches.
Okay, I'm going to run tonight or throw myself infront of a van tomorrow.
Pat just showed me the door to entrepreneurship. Seems pretty straightforward. A private company would be ideal for a niche market. Can always set up another Public account for investment of shares later on. Forgot that I can also ask Robin about this.
I need Hong's opinion.
Maybe I'm thinking too much. Just pursue the passion while keeping things grounded.
Met a new piano today. Quite well tuned, which was very suprising. Did you know that every piano has a unique voice? That one had a nice mellow voice for an upright piano. I heard its melody. It sounded sad, almost fearful. Perhaps it was the surroundings.
Was ambushed by some hyper-active dog while playing piano today.
Still remember the steps to approach a canine without startling it.
- Do not face your body toward it.
- Do not hold eye contact for more than 3 seconds for first 3 times.
- Do not move area that it is sniffing and licking until it stops one cycle.
- Do not lower your body toward it on first encounter.
- Do not move position until it breaks away first.
- Do not speak loudly.
Once that is done, matching the dog's approach is the tricky part. Different personalities require different approaches.
Okay, I'm going to run tonight or throw myself infront of a van tomorrow.
Tuesday, August 29, 2006
Was supposed to run and do stuff last night, but seemed to be some sort of miscommunication.
Me to body: Okay dude, its only close to 10pm, lets just take a quick nap till 11pm, okie?
Body: Alright, you just relax, I'll wake us up later.
Me to body: Awesome la, see you in an hour.
Body: Right, an hour. Sucka...
THE NEXT MORNING...
Me to body: OMGWTF ITS BLOODY THE NEXT DAY LA! WTF WERE YOU DOING?!
Body: OMG HI 2 U!
What the hell la! I haven't even finished today's training aids! Shit!
Anyway its quite amusing how a cockenardan usually talks in one or two sentences... but bring up the topic of clubbing and breaking up and TEN YEARS SERIES COMES OUT!
My poor dog la...
Its really the people that make training fun.
Speaking of which, I met my BMT training partner in the bus from camp the other day. Thank god he didn't follow through the contract with ADF. I told him he wouldn't have enough time for silat like that.
We'd always partner up for running, statics and weights, cause everyone else were a bunch of pansies. Ahuahua. Its good to hear he's doing well in SAFSA and nteam .
Thinking back on BMT, its weird how my two best friends were... malay. I think chinese in general have too much hidden agenda and social fronts and are generally more selfish. Malays on the other hand are usally more easy going and much more willing to help each other out.
Anyway Raf was nice because he agreed to teach me his black belt Silat kata. Which is pretty basic in comparison to Vee's Karate kata which required alot more feeling. But the hardest was ZR's power fist wushu movements, which were so ridiculously complex.
I guess I was lucky to be in the same company as a world champ silat exponent, a national karate kata champ and a wushu pro. I guess they thought I was trying to pass time by learning their kata... heheh...
Anyway based on my brief understanding on these different martial arts movements, the malay art form is very basic but straight to the point. The japanese art form emphasizes alot on feeling and movement of chi. Wushu on the other hand is like some sort of complicated dancing and I really see no practical use during combat.
Ok back to work.
Me to body: Okay dude, its only close to 10pm, lets just take a quick nap till 11pm, okie?
Body: Alright, you just relax, I'll wake us up later.
Me to body: Awesome la, see you in an hour.
Body: Right, an hour. Sucka...
THE NEXT MORNING...
Me to body: OMGWTF ITS BLOODY THE NEXT DAY LA! WTF WERE YOU DOING?!
Body: OMG HI 2 U!
What the hell la! I haven't even finished today's training aids! Shit!
Anyway its quite amusing how a cockenardan usually talks in one or two sentences... but bring up the topic of clubbing and breaking up and TEN YEARS SERIES COMES OUT!
My poor dog la...
Its really the people that make training fun.
Speaking of which, I met my BMT training partner in the bus from camp the other day. Thank god he didn't follow through the contract with ADF. I told him he wouldn't have enough time for silat like that.
We'd always partner up for running, statics and weights, cause everyone else were a bunch of pansies. Ahuahua. Its good to hear he's doing well in SAFSA and nteam .
Thinking back on BMT, its weird how my two best friends were... malay. I think chinese in general have too much hidden agenda and social fronts and are generally more selfish. Malays on the other hand are usally more easy going and much more willing to help each other out.
Anyway Raf was nice because he agreed to teach me his black belt Silat kata. Which is pretty basic in comparison to Vee's Karate kata which required alot more feeling. But the hardest was ZR's power fist wushu movements, which were so ridiculously complex.
I guess I was lucky to be in the same company as a world champ silat exponent, a national karate kata champ and a wushu pro. I guess they thought I was trying to pass time by learning their kata... heheh...
Anyway based on my brief understanding on these different martial arts movements, the malay art form is very basic but straight to the point. The japanese art form emphasizes alot on feeling and movement of chi. Wushu on the other hand is like some sort of complicated dancing and I really see no practical use during combat.
Ok back to work.
Sunday, August 27, 2006
Tonight's run: 12:11mins.
Damn slow la. Legs quite suan from weights and rowing today.
Statics:
Crunches
Twists
Pushups
Calf raise
Sprint fist kata
Not bad, 4 attacks in 0.5 seconds. Accuracy and power is improving too.
Last knuckle is taking a long time to recover from the enlargement exercises. 3 weeks so far and it still hurts. But I can already see the difference.
Only through channelling and directing a power can you ensure that it doesn't run as it pleases.
Damn slow la. Legs quite suan from weights and rowing today.
Statics:
Crunches
Twists
Pushups
Calf raise
Sprint fist kata
Not bad, 4 attacks in 0.5 seconds. Accuracy and power is improving too.
Last knuckle is taking a long time to recover from the enlargement exercises. 3 weeks so far and it still hurts. But I can already see the difference.
Only through channelling and directing a power can you ensure that it doesn't run as it pleases.
Fighting Aura.
Many years ago I thought that it was a state of mind. A desire.
I heard my seniors talk about it every now and then. Always wondered when I would get this mysterious thing.
Then one day, I found it.
Maybe it was losing a tied match to that brown-black belt due to "superiority" call.
Its a reaction. Different for every fighter, and unique to his own character and personality. It takes your comfort strategy, and burns it into your very essence.
Many people mistake people who get into fights to have a fighting aura. But its not something that can come so innately.
I don't know how the other guys on the squad got theirs. Maybe its the same way. I don't know.
The first time I felt it, it was an unimaginable high.
Every muscle in your body tenses just a little bit, not too much, just nice. You don't need to worry about concentrating and forcing out distracting thoughts, because you are more on auto-pilot than manual. Your blood feels so hot that you want it to end yet don't because it feels so good. And you can feel whatever part you are going to use to attack get lighter, as if you can literally feel energy automatically pooling around those points.
But its a hotness that builds. And if you don't release it you feel as if you're going to explode, going to go mad. Its like a monster that demands to be fed before going back to sleep. It needs to be satisfied.
I suppose it can be addictive, in a way. Maybe thats why I want to feel it, yet am afraid of it.
The worse part about being a reversal specialist is that unlike just activating voluntarily to initiate an attack, it can snap on at any time in reaction to something.
Though I think I wasn't mentally strong enough back then to control it, and let it get out of hand, perhaps even up to now. But the battle with one's self is something that keeps going on forever.
And I don't think I'll keep losing.
Many years ago I thought that it was a state of mind. A desire.
I heard my seniors talk about it every now and then. Always wondered when I would get this mysterious thing.
Then one day, I found it.
Maybe it was losing a tied match to that brown-black belt due to "superiority" call.
Its a reaction. Different for every fighter, and unique to his own character and personality. It takes your comfort strategy, and burns it into your very essence.
Many people mistake people who get into fights to have a fighting aura. But its not something that can come so innately.
I don't know how the other guys on the squad got theirs. Maybe its the same way. I don't know.
The first time I felt it, it was an unimaginable high.
Every muscle in your body tenses just a little bit, not too much, just nice. You don't need to worry about concentrating and forcing out distracting thoughts, because you are more on auto-pilot than manual. Your blood feels so hot that you want it to end yet don't because it feels so good. And you can feel whatever part you are going to use to attack get lighter, as if you can literally feel energy automatically pooling around those points.
But its a hotness that builds. And if you don't release it you feel as if you're going to explode, going to go mad. Its like a monster that demands to be fed before going back to sleep. It needs to be satisfied.
I suppose it can be addictive, in a way. Maybe thats why I want to feel it, yet am afraid of it.
The worse part about being a reversal specialist is that unlike just activating voluntarily to initiate an attack, it can snap on at any time in reaction to something.
Though I think I wasn't mentally strong enough back then to control it, and let it get out of hand, perhaps even up to now. But the battle with one's self is something that keeps going on forever.
And I don't think I'll keep losing.
Saturday, August 26, 2006
Back to normal today. Thank god.
To think that I almost begin plans to utterly destroy him just because I suspected where his priorities lay.
Time trial today. Wish I could base any sort of standard from the timings, but mr current had to come and screw everything up! Good job!
I thought that my detail had some average competition. One ex nyp school rower for 3 years, another very medalled njc canoeist. But alas, I had to wait for them in the middle to see if they were still around.
The current plan seems to be working.
Anyway, was asked what I think about some girls.
I'm always very cautious about any sort of judgement of character, because I usually get the info from a very cynical and piercing side.
But since we're on the path of trying to understand that side, heck.
We all have certain walls of morals and beliefs of what is right and what is wrong. Things in our gut, to tell us what is the right thing to do.
But in life, depending on your interest, you can break down these walls.
Some people break walls to allow them to have more "fun", more excitement.
Some people break walls to give them more "power", more competitiveness.
And when these walls are down, you cannot feel the consequences of your actions. Until one day, its too late. It may take hurting one person, or many people. But I believe that eventually, that person will awaken, because she will never find true happiness.
When you get tired of the shallowness and facade of everything, you will start to question where the deeper things were. It is then we realize our mistakes.
And just like I was disgusted with what I have become in the past, I believe that she may one day realize and become disgusted with what she has allowed herself to become.
When that day happens, then she would be more ideal for him. The process of finding these truths in life is painful, but its a journey that everyone has to make. Because no great lesson is learnt easily. Its through pain, that we learn. Because the blade always looks nice until you cut yourself.
But I believe that ultimately, one should restore his morals as much as possible. Because you can break them down to get you where you want to be... but what goes around comes around.
It reminds me of a certain colonel whom is immensely smart and well achieved, yet everyone hates working under him. People quit working under him, and those who have to stay detest his leadership. You can see it everywhere. Not just in his subordinates, but his colleagues and peers.
At the end of the day, there are two routes to the same destination.
On one you can make enemies everywhere, have people think badly of you and hate you. You can be good at maintaining all your precious facades. But they are just facades.
On the other you can have inspired and motivated people, and helped more along the way. You can have genuine relationships, and people that you can really trust.
To think that I almost begin plans to utterly destroy him just because I suspected where his priorities lay.
Time trial today. Wish I could base any sort of standard from the timings, but mr current had to come and screw everything up! Good job!
I thought that my detail had some average competition. One ex nyp school rower for 3 years, another very medalled njc canoeist. But alas, I had to wait for them in the middle to see if they were still around.
The current plan seems to be working.
Anyway, was asked what I think about some girls.
I'm always very cautious about any sort of judgement of character, because I usually get the info from a very cynical and piercing side.
But since we're on the path of trying to understand that side, heck.
We all have certain walls of morals and beliefs of what is right and what is wrong. Things in our gut, to tell us what is the right thing to do.
But in life, depending on your interest, you can break down these walls.
Some people break walls to allow them to have more "fun", more excitement.
Some people break walls to give them more "power", more competitiveness.
And when these walls are down, you cannot feel the consequences of your actions. Until one day, its too late. It may take hurting one person, or many people. But I believe that eventually, that person will awaken, because she will never find true happiness.
When you get tired of the shallowness and facade of everything, you will start to question where the deeper things were. It is then we realize our mistakes.
And just like I was disgusted with what I have become in the past, I believe that she may one day realize and become disgusted with what she has allowed herself to become.
When that day happens, then she would be more ideal for him. The process of finding these truths in life is painful, but its a journey that everyone has to make. Because no great lesson is learnt easily. Its through pain, that we learn. Because the blade always looks nice until you cut yourself.
But I believe that ultimately, one should restore his morals as much as possible. Because you can break them down to get you where you want to be... but what goes around comes around.
It reminds me of a certain colonel whom is immensely smart and well achieved, yet everyone hates working under him. People quit working under him, and those who have to stay detest his leadership. You can see it everywhere. Not just in his subordinates, but his colleagues and peers.
At the end of the day, there are two routes to the same destination.
On one you can make enemies everywhere, have people think badly of you and hate you. You can be good at maintaining all your precious facades. But they are just facades.
On the other you can have inspired and motivated people, and helped more along the way. You can have genuine relationships, and people that you can really trust.
Today I remembered the first time it happened.
I was sparring against Pat.
Bastard. I've seen him bully his little bro so many times. Made him cry. He's older, than me, but less experienced. Probably thinks he can bully me too, but he's not sure. He's probably going to test this by going extremely offensive at first.
The command, then bow. We both ready stance and yell.
He comes on with a barrage of front and turning kicks. But I'm ready. I keep shifting to the sides to throw his attack vector off while executing a few reversals in-between.
After swapping attacker/defender roles for awhile there's a slight pause. I check his stance and body language. Mid bend in knees with constant tension, neutral balance from left to right foot, eyes on my centre. Classic reversal stance.
Son of a? Reversal is my specialty you bastard, you think you can out-reversal me?
I mirror his stance to challenge him. Neither of us moves.
Moments pass and still no motion.
Idiot. Fine, but its easy to feign a response out of a noob reversaler.
I feint with a thurst step forward and see him quickly drop his CG before stopping himself upon realization of my intention.
Give him 2-3 times and he'll get the point and be forced to take action.
2nd time, 3rd time, 4th time, stupid patient bastard. 5th time.
I see the extension, now or never.
I'll show him a reversal he would never have dreamed off. The aerial shift turning kick. Unlike my usual specialty shift turning kick, this move that I came up with comprised of a high jump instead of a shift, adding more torque to the torso.
During practice I blew the arm shield right off the holder with this kick, but I only have enough energy to execute it 3 times in full force before hitting my limit.
3 tries is more than enough, cause I only need one now.
His kick comes in as I begin my flight to the side. Time seems to slow down as I'm floating in the air targetting him while my right leg swings backward, then snaps forward toward his chest.
Hit.
It was a snap blow instead of a driving blow so it only forces him to stumble back a few steps.
He lowers his guard and holds his hand out to me to stop. I can see from his eyes that he's probably seeing spots.
He moves back abit, then drops down into a sit.
He was lucky that he was exhaling during the impact.
"You okay?" I ask.
"Yeah, gimme a minute." He replies. "Walau, you hit so hard."
You got screwed over, losah!
Instead of feeling bits and pieces of his thoughts, today I was looking through his eyes instead, in awe. For once in a very long time.
Its amazing.
How far and deep he can look into each person. Divulging their innermost fears and secrets to me. His readings, though cynical, are thorough and accurate.
I guess I was wrong to think that it would go away by sealing him off.
I cannot afford to let him destroy my ties with everyone around me again.
The information he gathers is only useful for one thing. And being up there in the past felt good for awhile, but its sickening, and solitary.
I will find a way.
I was sparring against Pat.
Bastard. I've seen him bully his little bro so many times. Made him cry. He's older, than me, but less experienced. Probably thinks he can bully me too, but he's not sure. He's probably going to test this by going extremely offensive at first.
The command, then bow. We both ready stance and yell.
He comes on with a barrage of front and turning kicks. But I'm ready. I keep shifting to the sides to throw his attack vector off while executing a few reversals in-between.
After swapping attacker/defender roles for awhile there's a slight pause. I check his stance and body language. Mid bend in knees with constant tension, neutral balance from left to right foot, eyes on my centre. Classic reversal stance.
Son of a? Reversal is my specialty you bastard, you think you can out-reversal me?
I mirror his stance to challenge him. Neither of us moves.
Moments pass and still no motion.
Idiot. Fine, but its easy to feign a response out of a noob reversaler.
I feint with a thurst step forward and see him quickly drop his CG before stopping himself upon realization of my intention.
Give him 2-3 times and he'll get the point and be forced to take action.
2nd time, 3rd time, 4th time, stupid patient bastard. 5th time.
I see the extension, now or never.
I'll show him a reversal he would never have dreamed off. The aerial shift turning kick. Unlike my usual specialty shift turning kick, this move that I came up with comprised of a high jump instead of a shift, adding more torque to the torso.
During practice I blew the arm shield right off the holder with this kick, but I only have enough energy to execute it 3 times in full force before hitting my limit.
3 tries is more than enough, cause I only need one now.
His kick comes in as I begin my flight to the side. Time seems to slow down as I'm floating in the air targetting him while my right leg swings backward, then snaps forward toward his chest.
Hit.
It was a snap blow instead of a driving blow so it only forces him to stumble back a few steps.
He lowers his guard and holds his hand out to me to stop. I can see from his eyes that he's probably seeing spots.
He moves back abit, then drops down into a sit.
He was lucky that he was exhaling during the impact.
"You okay?" I ask.
"Yeah, gimme a minute." He replies. "Walau, you hit so hard."
You got screwed over, losah!
Instead of feeling bits and pieces of his thoughts, today I was looking through his eyes instead, in awe. For once in a very long time.
Its amazing.
How far and deep he can look into each person. Divulging their innermost fears and secrets to me. His readings, though cynical, are thorough and accurate.
I guess I was wrong to think that it would go away by sealing him off.
I cannot afford to let him destroy my ties with everyone around me again.
The information he gathers is only useful for one thing. And being up there in the past felt good for awhile, but its sickening, and solitary.
I will find a way.
Thursday, August 24, 2006
Tonight's run: 11:18.
Not the best, had some technical difficulties toward the last stretch. Blocking the pain out turned out to be a huge mistake because after the run I felt like I was about to buckle and faint due to the pain inside.
Whoever said that you should rest at least 2 hours after eating before strenous exercise wasn't some drunk old man!
Completed 10 sets of 20 pullups again inbetween statics. And its kinda hard to type right now.
Heard that 2 of our alumni want to come back for training halfway.
Made me remember that familiar piece of advice that I told the other canoeists cum dragonboaters last time.
You can only commit yourself emotionally to one team. In the end, the team that you have stronger bonds with will enjoy your company, but relationships with the other team will turn sour. Its like a rubber band being stretched by two ends. The stronger point will pull the other end, and the other end will feel a negative tension. In the end, the tension will also prevent the stronger point from advancing.
As long as you are still looking behind you will not be able to see where you can go.
But I also remember that I couldn't heed my own advice. After graduation, I still went out with the school team after nteam training. I still chose their company over the nteam guys.
Its because of this that I know that I failed to bond with the nteam guys better because I refused to move on from the school team.
I suppose on some aspects, that was a dumb move. But on others, it wasn't.
What, and who are the people more important to you? That is the choice that I went with. The more new path may not always be the best.
It was easier with the current team. Jem and Winston were there, so it was easier. There were alot of dao seniors that were asking to be trashed too :p. I still remember how funny it was, when they spoke so highly of some people's individual rowing skills, yet when it came to crunch time, some people happened to be crossing the halfway point when some noobie was starting to turn around. Even more amusing was their pullup skills. Turns out it was the humbler ones, the quieter ones that shone. It really goes to show its hard to find the gems among the glass stones that have been polished with ego. I'm not one that should be commenting about this anyway. From feedback, I didn't exactly seem like a humble kinda guy. Godamn.
Speaking of first training with the team, I should have brought back that piece of paddle for momento and labelled it "poor paddle broken during first S****A training".
Anyway I digress.
I hope that the alumni can find the reason to bond with their new teammates. But if they choose to join us fully, I will fight to have them represent our team for the upcoming race.
Speaking of letting go. The topic of post-ns plans comes back to light. There's a part of me that knows that I may be going there because of friends. Somehow the crazy idea of flying to australia to study pops up...
ANYWAY, I suppose that just like I eventually had to say goodbye to my secondary school clique, I may have to leave this one once again follow the path that is true to me. It wasn't too hard to leave them, though, at that time I was numb to everyone around me thanks to tkd.
Perhaps its hard for some people to understand why a person would go to poly when he could have gone to jc, because they have been so thoroughly mind-washed by society. I suppose its like ocs. If you think you could have gone, or definately could have gone, yet you choose your own path, your own life, because you knew that deep inside, no matter how prestigious or right society makes out that path to be, its not yours.
They are all around you. People who go through it all, then end up suffering after the commision. For pride they are willing to suffer some more, and give up their freedom. Amazing! Then there are the few who commision and actually get a nice cushy appointment. On the other hand, there are people who screw it and enjoy life then get screwed when they ord. There are also people who screw it find alternative means to live life more, and people who screw it and prepare for the future.
Then again, our country does need the succesfully brainwashed few for the defence of the nation... DISCLAIMER! THE ABOVE TWO PARAGRAPHS MAY HAVE BEEN QUOTED FROM SOMEONE ELSE'S BLOG AND I CLAIM NO RESPONSIBILITY FOR IT AS IT MAY HAVE BEEN POSTED HERE FOR ANALYSIS SAKE ONLY!
I knew that it was dangerous to get too involved in some people's world. Now my own path is not clear.
On the other hand, I'm not sure if I might screw the uni thing just for the sake of being a non-conformist. That would be the ultimate lamest screw-up to make.
I suppose I just need more time.
It also doesn't help that for design side, your portfolio is what people judge you by, not your grades, so here I am spending more time building up a kickass portfolio and screwing unimportant assignments to get average scores, and unlike the ntu path, smu doesn't give a damn about a design portfolio.
Luckily I have 3 other cards to play, though.
Not everyone has a total cca score enough to split in half and give two seperate people distinctions for the cca grade. Then there's... ahh the more I think about it the sadder it gets. Some jock trying to use his ccas and sports to get a place in school.
I'm better off sending my portfolio to ntu.
The answer didn't come easy last time, and I just need to give it more time now, I suppose.
What did following my dream after secondary school get me?
It gave me the chance to branch out and discover my knack for music, which is closely related to the design field. It gave me the chance to practice composition and arrangement for games and movies, and realize that it may be something worth investing time and effort in. It gave me the chance to get my first job in the music industry and game industry composing music.
But most importantly, it taught me that there's a chance that doing something you enjoy for a living can kill that very joy. But it also taught me that not everything is that shallow and can be killed so easily. And these things are worth fighting for. When you're so tired and pissed, yet you know that this is what you want to be doing for the rest of your life. Because somehow you still love doing it. Ultimately, it taught me more about myself.
It taught me that some risks are worth taking, and I think that it was a sacrifice worth making.
As long as you follow the crowd, you can only struggle to become at most, near the top of someone else's game. If you're the one setting your own standards, someday, other people will be following you and trying to play your game instead.
It takes risks to commit to search for your own path in life. Those who play it safe can stay with the dumb majority.
Planning is good, but its only the first step if you don't go and test the plans to see if they work for you. What if you invest all this time and effort into something then suddenly wake up and realize that it isn't for you?
What if you wake up when you're 50, and realize that you're finally contented and happy. But then you also realize that all these years you've missed out on so much, that you've been investing too much time in all the wrong things.
I think the end-game of my current simulation is satisfactory, but where should I run the next simulation?
Not the best, had some technical difficulties toward the last stretch. Blocking the pain out turned out to be a huge mistake because after the run I felt like I was about to buckle and faint due to the pain inside.
Whoever said that you should rest at least 2 hours after eating before strenous exercise wasn't some drunk old man!
Completed 10 sets of 20 pullups again inbetween statics. And its kinda hard to type right now.
Heard that 2 of our alumni want to come back for training halfway.
Made me remember that familiar piece of advice that I told the other canoeists cum dragonboaters last time.
You can only commit yourself emotionally to one team. In the end, the team that you have stronger bonds with will enjoy your company, but relationships with the other team will turn sour. Its like a rubber band being stretched by two ends. The stronger point will pull the other end, and the other end will feel a negative tension. In the end, the tension will also prevent the stronger point from advancing.
As long as you are still looking behind you will not be able to see where you can go.
But I also remember that I couldn't heed my own advice. After graduation, I still went out with the school team after nteam training. I still chose their company over the nteam guys.
Its because of this that I know that I failed to bond with the nteam guys better because I refused to move on from the school team.
I suppose on some aspects, that was a dumb move. But on others, it wasn't.
What, and who are the people more important to you? That is the choice that I went with. The more new path may not always be the best.
It was easier with the current team. Jem and Winston were there, so it was easier. There were alot of dao seniors that were asking to be trashed too :p. I still remember how funny it was, when they spoke so highly of some people's individual rowing skills, yet when it came to crunch time, some people happened to be crossing the halfway point when some noobie was starting to turn around. Even more amusing was their pullup skills. Turns out it was the humbler ones, the quieter ones that shone. It really goes to show its hard to find the gems among the glass stones that have been polished with ego. I'm not one that should be commenting about this anyway. From feedback, I didn't exactly seem like a humble kinda guy. Godamn.
Speaking of first training with the team, I should have brought back that piece of paddle for momento and labelled it "poor paddle broken during first S****A training".
Anyway I digress.
I hope that the alumni can find the reason to bond with their new teammates. But if they choose to join us fully, I will fight to have them represent our team for the upcoming race.
Speaking of letting go. The topic of post-ns plans comes back to light. There's a part of me that knows that I may be going there because of friends. Somehow the crazy idea of flying to australia to study pops up...
ANYWAY, I suppose that just like I eventually had to say goodbye to my secondary school clique, I may have to leave this one once again follow the path that is true to me. It wasn't too hard to leave them, though, at that time I was numb to everyone around me thanks to tkd.
Perhaps its hard for some people to understand why a person would go to poly when he could have gone to jc, because they have been so thoroughly mind-washed by society. I suppose its like ocs. If you think you could have gone, or definately could have gone, yet you choose your own path, your own life, because you knew that deep inside, no matter how prestigious or right society makes out that path to be, its not yours.
They are all around you. People who go through it all, then end up suffering after the commision. For pride they are willing to suffer some more, and give up their freedom. Amazing! Then there are the few who commision and actually get a nice cushy appointment. On the other hand, there are people who screw it and enjoy life then get screwed when they ord. There are also people who screw it find alternative means to live life more, and people who screw it and prepare for the future.
Then again, our country does need the succesfully brainwashed few for the defence of the nation... DISCLAIMER! THE ABOVE TWO PARAGRAPHS MAY HAVE BEEN QUOTED FROM SOMEONE ELSE'S BLOG AND I CLAIM NO RESPONSIBILITY FOR IT AS IT MAY HAVE BEEN POSTED HERE FOR ANALYSIS SAKE ONLY!
I knew that it was dangerous to get too involved in some people's world. Now my own path is not clear.
On the other hand, I'm not sure if I might screw the uni thing just for the sake of being a non-conformist. That would be the ultimate lamest screw-up to make.
I suppose I just need more time.
It also doesn't help that for design side, your portfolio is what people judge you by, not your grades, so here I am spending more time building up a kickass portfolio and screwing unimportant assignments to get average scores, and unlike the ntu path, smu doesn't give a damn about a design portfolio.
Luckily I have 3 other cards to play, though.
Not everyone has a total cca score enough to split in half and give two seperate people distinctions for the cca grade. Then there's... ahh the more I think about it the sadder it gets. Some jock trying to use his ccas and sports to get a place in school.
I'm better off sending my portfolio to ntu.
The answer didn't come easy last time, and I just need to give it more time now, I suppose.
What did following my dream after secondary school get me?
It gave me the chance to branch out and discover my knack for music, which is closely related to the design field. It gave me the chance to practice composition and arrangement for games and movies, and realize that it may be something worth investing time and effort in. It gave me the chance to get my first job in the music industry and game industry composing music.
But most importantly, it taught me that there's a chance that doing something you enjoy for a living can kill that very joy. But it also taught me that not everything is that shallow and can be killed so easily. And these things are worth fighting for. When you're so tired and pissed, yet you know that this is what you want to be doing for the rest of your life. Because somehow you still love doing it. Ultimately, it taught me more about myself.
It taught me that some risks are worth taking, and I think that it was a sacrifice worth making.
As long as you follow the crowd, you can only struggle to become at most, near the top of someone else's game. If you're the one setting your own standards, someday, other people will be following you and trying to play your game instead.
It takes risks to commit to search for your own path in life. Those who play it safe can stay with the dumb majority.
Planning is good, but its only the first step if you don't go and test the plans to see if they work for you. What if you invest all this time and effort into something then suddenly wake up and realize that it isn't for you?
What if you wake up when you're 50, and realize that you're finally contented and happy. But then you also realize that all these years you've missed out on so much, that you've been investing too much time in all the wrong things.
I think the end-game of my current simulation is satisfactory, but where should I run the next simulation?
Left elbow acting up again during gym training yesterday. Really sucks how injuries from so many years ago slowly come back to haunt you every now and then. Wrist hurt too. Barbell bicep curl is really the stupidest exercise invented la.
Went to row in the evening. Took out the blue jaguar k1, put on my green sport sennheiser earphones, and took a long trip outside of kallang basin.
Didn't know that we use a certain amount of our sense of hearing to listen where the paddle enters and exits, and how early/late this occurs with respect to choppy wave conditions. Realized this when 98.7 was playing Evanescence and my balance screwed up a little.
The waves outside of shears bridge were quite high. Some were as high as the top of my boat and threatened to gush in. Luckily the rimming broke the water.
So off I went on a 10km row to the esplanade, and the merlion. Someone who would give a damn about scenery would porbably have found it nice because the red setting sun colored the tips of the esplanade's cones.
Was so tempted to go under the Merlion's spittlefall, but decided not to test the water resistance of my earphones and mp3player. Rowing with music really cuts you off more to the outside world. Makes you more at peace. All you can hear is the very soft woosh of water as you pull your blade out every now and then. Heavy banging music when you're trying to negotiate an area of highly active waves on the other hand, makes the situation seem more critical.
Went to race and trash some noob dragonboats for awhile, then went to look for her, but all I could make out was sin teck -_-.
Came home to do some work after that. Then the bed looked like a nice place to lie down for awhile. And low and behold, my superhuman powers of time-warping kicked in and the next thing I knew, it was morning! Amazing!
Must have been damn shacked for it to activate so early in the night.
Went to row in the evening. Took out the blue jaguar k1, put on my green sport sennheiser earphones, and took a long trip outside of kallang basin.
Didn't know that we use a certain amount of our sense of hearing to listen where the paddle enters and exits, and how early/late this occurs with respect to choppy wave conditions. Realized this when 98.7 was playing Evanescence and my balance screwed up a little.
The waves outside of shears bridge were quite high. Some were as high as the top of my boat and threatened to gush in. Luckily the rimming broke the water.
So off I went on a 10km row to the esplanade, and the merlion. Someone who would give a damn about scenery would porbably have found it nice because the red setting sun colored the tips of the esplanade's cones.
Was so tempted to go under the Merlion's spittlefall, but decided not to test the water resistance of my earphones and mp3player. Rowing with music really cuts you off more to the outside world. Makes you more at peace. All you can hear is the very soft woosh of water as you pull your blade out every now and then. Heavy banging music when you're trying to negotiate an area of highly active waves on the other hand, makes the situation seem more critical.
Went to race and trash some noob dragonboats for awhile, then went to look for her, but all I could make out was sin teck -_-.
Came home to do some work after that. Then the bed looked like a nice place to lie down for awhile. And low and behold, my superhuman powers of time-warping kicked in and the next thing I knew, it was morning! Amazing!
Must have been damn shacked for it to activate so early in the night.
Tuesday, August 22, 2006
Headed out to fix the bike and send the stuff to SMU. Erm... the motorized pump is quite a powerful apparatus. I wanted to see just how hard my front tyre could get, so I kept pumping... then there was this creaking noise and then the tyre just... blew. The bang was so loud that I went momentarily deaf. Awesome.
Anyway, I just had the craziest idea. If the SMU thing works out, maybe I'll just screw dragboating and canoein and go back to taekwondo for a cca.
Somehow, a part of me has always longed to get back into the sport. And unlike dragboat which will require way too much planning to get the team up to competition standard, or canoeing where I'll just lose out in terms of experience again. In tkd, I'm the bastard who has the advantage of experience.
Once one, always one. Maybe all this time I've been running away from who I really am. I've been afraid of what I'm supposed to be. Maybe its just the lack of sleep talking.
Just to tired to think about that right now.
Its also possible, that I'm just longing for something that I shouldn't have.
Not sure if the risks are worth it. Bloody wounds, stuff that needs stitches are fine because they can heal in days or weeks. But the injuries that can't be seen from the outside are the worst. I consider myself lucky to get the injuries that I did last time. Well... maybe not. But I've seen worse.
Its amusing when people talk about punching people in the nose. I suppose they think that its a nice weak spot to hit, but what's so great about the nose? Its just a medium point that isn't even critical. If you really want to do some damage you'd... nevermind, I don't want to be reponsible for the possible repercussions of this.
Did a kneel to tie my shoelace today and realized that my left knee still hurts. Wonder if it was the banging of the metal bar when i was dismounting from pullups, or the metal handle inbetween leg raises, which occured twice. Also didn't help that one cockenardan bonsai went and kicked me in the knee some time back. Its like the universe hates my left knee. Why? What did it do wrong?
Went climbing just now to take a break from music composition.
Managed to get to 20, on the left wall on the second floor on the first attempt, then finished the damn thing at long last. After some guy told me to use the side wall.
A group of malays asked me to join them for their routes. Managed to complete quite a few of them. They like to use alot of matching, and I learnt how to do an overhand heel hook. Hooray.
After awhile I guess they realized that I looked abit lost whenever they started conversing in their native tongue so one of them finally asked.
"Eh, you not malay?"
^_^;
Then later some guy starts giving me advice in malay when I'm on the wall then they tell him and he's like...
"Sorry la, you look like one from behind."
Funny how they think a chinese would get offended if they assume he's a malay. This sort of makes me think that malays are actually more considerate and sensitive about these kind of things.
And for the record, its fine for a malay to call you a malay when you're not, but when a chinese does it, that chinaman is asking for a noogie.
Need sleep now.
Anyway, I just had the craziest idea. If the SMU thing works out, maybe I'll just screw dragboating and canoein and go back to taekwondo for a cca.
Somehow, a part of me has always longed to get back into the sport. And unlike dragboat which will require way too much planning to get the team up to competition standard, or canoeing where I'll just lose out in terms of experience again. In tkd, I'm the bastard who has the advantage of experience.
Once one, always one. Maybe all this time I've been running away from who I really am. I've been afraid of what I'm supposed to be. Maybe its just the lack of sleep talking.
Just to tired to think about that right now.
Its also possible, that I'm just longing for something that I shouldn't have.
Not sure if the risks are worth it. Bloody wounds, stuff that needs stitches are fine because they can heal in days or weeks. But the injuries that can't be seen from the outside are the worst. I consider myself lucky to get the injuries that I did last time. Well... maybe not. But I've seen worse.
Its amusing when people talk about punching people in the nose. I suppose they think that its a nice weak spot to hit, but what's so great about the nose? Its just a medium point that isn't even critical. If you really want to do some damage you'd... nevermind, I don't want to be reponsible for the possible repercussions of this.
Did a kneel to tie my shoelace today and realized that my left knee still hurts. Wonder if it was the banging of the metal bar when i was dismounting from pullups, or the metal handle inbetween leg raises, which occured twice. Also didn't help that one cockenardan bonsai went and kicked me in the knee some time back. Its like the universe hates my left knee. Why? What did it do wrong?
Went climbing just now to take a break from music composition.
Managed to get to 20, on the left wall on the second floor on the first attempt, then finished the damn thing at long last. After some guy told me to use the side wall.
A group of malays asked me to join them for their routes. Managed to complete quite a few of them. They like to use alot of matching, and I learnt how to do an overhand heel hook. Hooray.
After awhile I guess they realized that I looked abit lost whenever they started conversing in their native tongue so one of them finally asked.
"Eh, you not malay?"
^_^;
Then later some guy starts giving me advice in malay when I'm on the wall then they tell him and he's like...
"Sorry la, you look like one from behind."
Funny how they think a chinese would get offended if they assume he's a malay. This sort of makes me think that malays are actually more considerate and sensitive about these kind of things.
And for the record, its fine for a malay to call you a malay when you're not, but when a chinese does it, that chinaman is asking for a noogie.
Need sleep now.
Had an interesting meeting at the bus stop just now. Some charboh just started talking to me for no apparant reason.
Think she's into sales or something by the manner in which she carried herself.
charboh: "You're in NS? But then how can they let you keep your hair so long?"
watashi: "Err... its not that long what."
charboh: "Huh? But its like a mohawk."
XD
Geez, I already took measures to make sure its not too outstanding and looks quite disciplined what. Not to mention alot of the enciks are too ancient to know what the heck a modern day mohawk looks like.
So... yataze!
Office feels like my second home. Except I have not one, but three computers to play with! Counting my 2 laptops thats like 5 terminals of entertaiment, but not enough hands for them all.
Ok I really should get to bed now. I only wish this sofa were longer. -_-
Think she's into sales or something by the manner in which she carried herself.
charboh: "You're in NS? But then how can they let you keep your hair so long?"
watashi: "Err... its not that long what."
charboh: "Huh? But its like a mohawk."
XD
Geez, I already took measures to make sure its not too outstanding and looks quite disciplined what. Not to mention alot of the enciks are too ancient to know what the heck a modern day mohawk looks like.
So... yataze!
Office feels like my second home. Except I have not one, but three computers to play with! Counting my 2 laptops thats like 5 terminals of entertaiment, but not enough hands for them all.
Ok I really should get to bed now. I only wish this sofa were longer. -_-
Monday, August 21, 2006
Tonite's run: 11:23mins.
Crunches, twist and pushups.
Walau... can die just trying to hit 100 pushups... how the hell did I ever manage 400 in poly? Damn lousy.
Kinda sucky. Dunno why the hell my shins got very tight toward the 2nd half. It should have been well rested... maybe I was stomping too much down the slope.
These past few days I've awakened to so many things.
Memories that were best left forgotten, memories that have to be dealt with in order to move forward.
Perhaps its from the most painful memories that we can learn the most from, yet a part of us refuses to do so, because its just too painful.
One could say that the extent of any situation is based on your perspective. You can be a cynic, an optimist, or a realist. Which view is the right one? I still don't know.
Facing the past was always something that scared me at times. Thinking back on how lost I was in that world... how I fear that I will fall back into that state. Yet here I am, with one leg outside, and one leg still stuck inside. Maybe I'll never be able to pull the other leg out until I look back to manuever it out of the mess.
I'm able to recall situations with an oustider's perspective now, and in so doing, some more pleasant memories are coming back.
A few days ago I walked past that playground. I can't believe its still there. It looks just like it was so many years ago, even the swings still work.
I remember those nights after practice when we just strolled there in the darkness and solemnity of the night, and sat on those swings, talking about anything and finding it thoroughly amusing for no reason. We'd laugh so loud, without a care in the world.
I think that part of the euphoria was due to relief, really. Relief that practice was over, and we'll be able to just be friends again.
Its weird, seeing this person whom you've spent years quietly practicing kata, kicking, stancing and movements with infront of you, and you'd have to fight him. You can't hold back, because there would be no match discipline. Yet you just can't bear to attack.
It was easier during combined clubs practice, because all the other guys there were there for one thing... to fight.
After practices at ccp when I was the only one from my team there, I remember having the weirdest feeling leaving the training grounds. I think that's when it all started.
The detachment from reality.
Everyone in that hall was your opponent. You do not show any weakness, you do not think twice before attacking. You constantly look for openings and exploit any hole in his defences. Any social norms that you observe outside are invalid. Respect is shown when you give your all. You are there to be either more aggresive or more cunning.
And when you leave, the feeling stays.
Everyone is your opponent.
Everyone.
Disgust, hate, and anger at everyone's weaknesses.
When you can see through so clearly, and have the perspective or a cynic, its really so easy to not give a damn about anyone else and just want to be alone forever.
I can't remember when things started to change. Maybe it was when someone cut her finger trying to help me craft out a mounting board during class, which made me realize that not everyone thinks only about themselves.
And when Hong picked me up for training and taught me the meaning of brotherhood. Real brotherhood, not just someone you do social gestures toward to act close to in public.
When you finally start to accept your own moronic behaviour, is when you can finally accept the moronic behaviour of other people.
Crunches, twist and pushups.
Walau... can die just trying to hit 100 pushups... how the hell did I ever manage 400 in poly? Damn lousy.
Kinda sucky. Dunno why the hell my shins got very tight toward the 2nd half. It should have been well rested... maybe I was stomping too much down the slope.
These past few days I've awakened to so many things.
Memories that were best left forgotten, memories that have to be dealt with in order to move forward.
Perhaps its from the most painful memories that we can learn the most from, yet a part of us refuses to do so, because its just too painful.
One could say that the extent of any situation is based on your perspective. You can be a cynic, an optimist, or a realist. Which view is the right one? I still don't know.
Facing the past was always something that scared me at times. Thinking back on how lost I was in that world... how I fear that I will fall back into that state. Yet here I am, with one leg outside, and one leg still stuck inside. Maybe I'll never be able to pull the other leg out until I look back to manuever it out of the mess.
I'm able to recall situations with an oustider's perspective now, and in so doing, some more pleasant memories are coming back.
A few days ago I walked past that playground. I can't believe its still there. It looks just like it was so many years ago, even the swings still work.
I remember those nights after practice when we just strolled there in the darkness and solemnity of the night, and sat on those swings, talking about anything and finding it thoroughly amusing for no reason. We'd laugh so loud, without a care in the world.
I think that part of the euphoria was due to relief, really. Relief that practice was over, and we'll be able to just be friends again.
Its weird, seeing this person whom you've spent years quietly practicing kata, kicking, stancing and movements with infront of you, and you'd have to fight him. You can't hold back, because there would be no match discipline. Yet you just can't bear to attack.
It was easier during combined clubs practice, because all the other guys there were there for one thing... to fight.
After practices at ccp when I was the only one from my team there, I remember having the weirdest feeling leaving the training grounds. I think that's when it all started.
The detachment from reality.
Everyone in that hall was your opponent. You do not show any weakness, you do not think twice before attacking. You constantly look for openings and exploit any hole in his defences. Any social norms that you observe outside are invalid. Respect is shown when you give your all. You are there to be either more aggresive or more cunning.
And when you leave, the feeling stays.
Everyone is your opponent.
Everyone.
Disgust, hate, and anger at everyone's weaknesses.
When you can see through so clearly, and have the perspective or a cynic, its really so easy to not give a damn about anyone else and just want to be alone forever.
I can't remember when things started to change. Maybe it was when someone cut her finger trying to help me craft out a mounting board during class, which made me realize that not everyone thinks only about themselves.
And when Hong picked me up for training and taught me the meaning of brotherhood. Real brotherhood, not just someone you do social gestures toward to act close to in public.
When you finally start to accept your own moronic behaviour, is when you can finally accept the moronic behaviour of other people.
Its godamn finished.
At last la...
Just sent the email which will blow them away.
It sounds so ridiculously close to the original that this could be a recording of one of their concerts.
Learnt alot from Bond's arranging style. Quite similar to some of my previous works in terms of movement and sectioning. Their ending is kickass la.
www.reubenkee.com/music/remixes/Reu%20-%20Explosive.mp3
Please let this week be a better week.
At last la...
Just sent the email which will blow them away.
It sounds so ridiculously close to the original that this could be a recording of one of their concerts.
Learnt alot from Bond's arranging style. Quite similar to some of my previous works in terms of movement and sectioning. Their ending is kickass la.
www.reubenkee.com/music/remixes/Reu%20-%20Explosive.mp3
Please let this week be a better week.
The song's almost done! Hell yeah!
But the computer is lagging now because of the amount of data and instruments...
Re-shuffling 30 instruments around is taking like 30 seconds now... luckily I can alt tab and come here and type while waiting for them to arrange themselves. I suppose its still faster than re-shuffling a real-life orchestra which would probably take... 3 minutes instead.
I feel like taking a k1 out from kallang basin and paddling out past shears bridge, and left towards the open sea. Where the waves aren't blocked by anything and if you capsize you're as good as majorly screwed/dead.
I miss the time when my balance still sucked and I capsized accidentally. Some people might think that this is bragging, but it really isn't. To be able to bet so much on paddling from one point to another, where capsizing in the middle means a 10-20 minute swim back towing a water-logged boat, and your heart is racing like hell because you DIE DIE DUN WANNA CAPSIZE. And you have to risk so much to get from the bloody pontoon to a suitable beach to train so that you can capsize with peace of mind where you can easily get back to shore and bail water.
Then after training, you have to take that same route back to the pontoon to keep the boat. And you wonder how the hell you made it back in one piece.
Training alone really sucked in some aspects, but in others, I really did have alot of fun. Those that have training partners or a team when starting out kinda have it lucky.
I remember one time I screwed myself over right in the middle of kallang basin. And I was slowly struggling in the water with the boat toward the beach when this pair of hwa chong girls came to rescue me.
^_^
^_^;
Argh bloody hell, the song is lagging my com again.
But the computer is lagging now because of the amount of data and instruments...
Re-shuffling 30 instruments around is taking like 30 seconds now... luckily I can alt tab and come here and type while waiting for them to arrange themselves. I suppose its still faster than re-shuffling a real-life orchestra which would probably take... 3 minutes instead.
I feel like taking a k1 out from kallang basin and paddling out past shears bridge, and left towards the open sea. Where the waves aren't blocked by anything and if you capsize you're as good as majorly screwed/dead.
I miss the time when my balance still sucked and I capsized accidentally. Some people might think that this is bragging, but it really isn't. To be able to bet so much on paddling from one point to another, where capsizing in the middle means a 10-20 minute swim back towing a water-logged boat, and your heart is racing like hell because you DIE DIE DUN WANNA CAPSIZE. And you have to risk so much to get from the bloody pontoon to a suitable beach to train so that you can capsize with peace of mind where you can easily get back to shore and bail water.
Then after training, you have to take that same route back to the pontoon to keep the boat. And you wonder how the hell you made it back in one piece.
Training alone really sucked in some aspects, but in others, I really did have alot of fun. Those that have training partners or a team when starting out kinda have it lucky.
I remember one time I screwed myself over right in the middle of kallang basin. And I was slowly struggling in the water with the boat toward the beach when this pair of hwa chong girls came to rescue me.
^_^
^_^;
Argh bloody hell, the song is lagging my com again.
Sunday, August 20, 2006
Come to think of it, I can't remember what the last time I had a rest day that I didn't do any physical activity.
Think I shall take one today. No run, no pullups, no weights, no nothing. Wanted to go canoe today, but seeing how much work was left, had no mood. Same for climbing and gym.
Think I need to sleep early tonite, still not back to normal yet.
Think I shall take one today. No run, no pullups, no weights, no nothing. Wanted to go canoe today, but seeing how much work was left, had no mood. Same for climbing and gym.
Think I need to sleep early tonite, still not back to normal yet.
It's been forever since I've sat down at the piano and just... played. Not quite sure what is the cause of this hebetude.
I hate it when I play and can't feel anything. Maybe all my inner thoughts are so jumbled and disarrayed that I can't find the proper direction.
Tried Adrian's system yesterday. Don't think it was that succesful because deep inside, he's much softer than me. I think that when it comes down to crunch time, we're going to have to swap sides because there may be a critical limit as to how much he can pull on his side.
I hate playing the psyche game, but not everyone will respond to my preferred methodologies. There may be another way though, will have to try and see.
Ehh... left elbow has been acting up again recently. Felt funny after the clap pullups yesterday... not good.
I hate it when I play and can't feel anything. Maybe all my inner thoughts are so jumbled and disarrayed that I can't find the proper direction.
Tried Adrian's system yesterday. Don't think it was that succesful because deep inside, he's much softer than me. I think that when it comes down to crunch time, we're going to have to swap sides because there may be a critical limit as to how much he can pull on his side.
I hate playing the psyche game, but not everyone will respond to my preferred methodologies. There may be another way though, will have to try and see.
Ehh... left elbow has been acting up again recently. Felt funny after the clap pullups yesterday... not good.
Saturday, August 19, 2006
All the late nights with lack of sleep are finally stacking up to critical level.
Harder and harder to stay in control. Sometimes I just have to depend on that for energy.
Familiar memories came back today, stuff that I had long forgotten. How invulnerable we felt back then. One group of teens, psyched up for the event ahead, ready to unleash on any unfortunate group of fools that didn't know any better. Just one of us could neutralize 3, at least 2.
But once we reached, each team would silently watch the other. Curious. You cannot judge a person by the way he looks, walks or carries himself. Its excitingly unpredictable. One moment he looks so harmless and demure; the next moment you see a flash in his eye and what he's really made off.
Some people just wait, and wait, and wait for an opening. Others charge in full of aggresion. The fun was not in seeing who could score, but who could match the other's spirit and overcome it.
The leg can generate much more impact than any standing or dashing punch. Simply because its easily about 3-6 times the size of the arm, its conditioned everyday, and is able to snap back after full impact to double the contacted force.
Its an unimaginable feeling when you bring up, twist and snap it toward the huge target, and hear the whole hall echo from the impact. A fast kick could sound like a gunshot, but some of the better players could generate a much deeper, stronger sound force. You didn't just hear it, you could feel it. We could create thunder.
I can still remember their faces after the blow. Some of their faces said "Damn, why did you do that?", the crazier ones said "Thank you, I have something for you too."
I need to return to normal. I need to forget all of this again, get enough sleep, and be at peace.
Harder and harder to stay in control. Sometimes I just have to depend on that for energy.
Familiar memories came back today, stuff that I had long forgotten. How invulnerable we felt back then. One group of teens, psyched up for the event ahead, ready to unleash on any unfortunate group of fools that didn't know any better. Just one of us could neutralize 3, at least 2.
But once we reached, each team would silently watch the other. Curious. You cannot judge a person by the way he looks, walks or carries himself. Its excitingly unpredictable. One moment he looks so harmless and demure; the next moment you see a flash in his eye and what he's really made off.
Some people just wait, and wait, and wait for an opening. Others charge in full of aggresion. The fun was not in seeing who could score, but who could match the other's spirit and overcome it.
The leg can generate much more impact than any standing or dashing punch. Simply because its easily about 3-6 times the size of the arm, its conditioned everyday, and is able to snap back after full impact to double the contacted force.
Its an unimaginable feeling when you bring up, twist and snap it toward the huge target, and hear the whole hall echo from the impact. A fast kick could sound like a gunshot, but some of the better players could generate a much deeper, stronger sound force. You didn't just hear it, you could feel it. We could create thunder.
I can still remember their faces after the blow. Some of their faces said "Damn, why did you do that?", the crazier ones said "Thank you, I have something for you too."
I need to return to normal. I need to forget all of this again, get enough sleep, and be at peace.
Started 100m behind the pack for live run today. Chionged to the front, then maintained, toward the end of 5km, could feel a huge headache reminding me that 2 slices of bread was not enough for the energy expenditure of the exercise.
Wanted to so 10 sets of 20 pullup while waiting for the rest to finish their run, but muscle glycogen was so low and I decided not to rely on protein synthesis for energy. Because that would make me a skinny kenyan runner.
So yeah, I never felt so slack for a camp run before. It really sucks having a 30min or 10km time and mileage limit before the knee starts to act up. I'll trash them once ahm is over and the target distance is set back to 5km and no more ridiculous 16kms la.
Think my sleep debt is accumulating to critical levels, been experiencing periods of it happening again.
I remember hearing them talking about how cool it was when someone just burst out and punched someone out, or how the sof guys would joke about killing someone and digging graves. Perhaps they envy the person for being able to let loose. Perhaps a part of us wants to be able to be true to our feelings and not care about anything else in the world. But its a dangerous naiveness.
Lately I've been tempted more and more to practice the S F technique again. Times are more dangerous than I thought, and if anything, I would be able to protect those close to me. S F is ideal because unlike a T P which could be lethal enough at a critical point should I lose control, S F will only disable and shock.
I still remember those words... "... but the day I actually **** someone... I will not know how to face myself."
Some of us don't have the freedom to let loose. Other means are required.
Wanted to so 10 sets of 20 pullup while waiting for the rest to finish their run, but muscle glycogen was so low and I decided not to rely on protein synthesis for energy. Because that would make me a skinny kenyan runner.
So yeah, I never felt so slack for a camp run before. It really sucks having a 30min or 10km time and mileage limit before the knee starts to act up. I'll trash them once ahm is over and the target distance is set back to 5km and no more ridiculous 16kms la.
Think my sleep debt is accumulating to critical levels, been experiencing periods of it happening again.
I remember hearing them talking about how cool it was when someone just burst out and punched someone out, or how the sof guys would joke about killing someone and digging graves. Perhaps they envy the person for being able to let loose. Perhaps a part of us wants to be able to be true to our feelings and not care about anything else in the world. But its a dangerous naiveness.
Lately I've been tempted more and more to practice the S F technique again. Times are more dangerous than I thought, and if anything, I would be able to protect those close to me. S F is ideal because unlike a T P which could be lethal enough at a critical point should I lose control, S F will only disable and shock.
I still remember those words... "... but the day I actually **** someone... I will not know how to face myself."
Some of us don't have the freedom to let loose. Other means are required.
Thursday, August 17, 2006
Today's run along the usual route: 11:24. Not the best... hamstrings a little tight from training in the afternoon, but managed to pick up pace after the slope.
Met two ex secondary school mates today, Aki and Wenbin. They seemed quite dumbfounded as to my current... size. Come to think of it, 50 kg to 75kg from secondary school to now is like a... 50% increase in mass?
Its nice to be able to talk to them so freely now, unlike back in school when we were on opposite sides of the "law". I suppose heading the prefectorial board gives you a sense of responsibility and purpose, but it really ruins your ties with the fun-loving student body. It didn't have to be a barrier, but I suppose I wasn't mature enough to not let it affect myself from associating with them. I wish I let myself have more fun, like in poly.
Always had to be the good guy, doing the right thing, at the right time. I remember sleeping early to wake up early to go to school to make sure that the prefectorial duty roster is in order and the flags were in place. Come to think of it, I really had no life back then! Hahaha.
The only thing I remember doing for fun back then was sneaking out with Judy in-between classes, free periods or after school into the auditorium to play the piano, or getting the key from the principal to go into the chapel to play the piano. Afternoons, go to town, but not to hang out or shop, but for tuition. Evenings, if there's a tournament coming up, go for training to kick and scream, then return to peaceful self at home. And any time none of this is happening, I'm at home, playing computer or ps.
I suppose thats why I can take on the form of the perfect robot at times.
But being perfect is goddamned boring. Following what everyone tells you is the right path is goddamned boring. Believing what everyone tells you to believe is goddamned boring.
Maybe thats why I picked the path that I did after that.
I pity those who mindlessly follow society's norms and conventions.
Perhaps its not their fault? Because they think that that's the only way to live life.
You will never know what's possible until you dare to think outside of the box.
A man is great because of his dream, right? Hong?
Met two ex secondary school mates today, Aki and Wenbin. They seemed quite dumbfounded as to my current... size. Come to think of it, 50 kg to 75kg from secondary school to now is like a... 50% increase in mass?
Its nice to be able to talk to them so freely now, unlike back in school when we were on opposite sides of the "law". I suppose heading the prefectorial board gives you a sense of responsibility and purpose, but it really ruins your ties with the fun-loving student body. It didn't have to be a barrier, but I suppose I wasn't mature enough to not let it affect myself from associating with them. I wish I let myself have more fun, like in poly.
Always had to be the good guy, doing the right thing, at the right time. I remember sleeping early to wake up early to go to school to make sure that the prefectorial duty roster is in order and the flags were in place. Come to think of it, I really had no life back then! Hahaha.
The only thing I remember doing for fun back then was sneaking out with Judy in-between classes, free periods or after school into the auditorium to play the piano, or getting the key from the principal to go into the chapel to play the piano. Afternoons, go to town, but not to hang out or shop, but for tuition. Evenings, if there's a tournament coming up, go for training to kick and scream, then return to peaceful self at home. And any time none of this is happening, I'm at home, playing computer or ps.
I suppose thats why I can take on the form of the perfect robot at times.
But being perfect is goddamned boring. Following what everyone tells you is the right path is goddamned boring. Believing what everyone tells you to believe is goddamned boring.
Maybe thats why I picked the path that I did after that.
I pity those who mindlessly follow society's norms and conventions.
Perhaps its not their fault? Because they think that that's the only way to live life.
You will never know what's possible until you dare to think outside of the box.
A man is great because of his dream, right? Hong?
Wanted to do a timed run along the usual route but before I even reached the first slope my legs were crying "CANNOT MAKE IT LA!".
So ended up doing a 20:50 mins slow run instead.
Gymed in the office. I thought an audience was bad, but today there were cheerleaders too? -_-; I suppose I would be fascinated too if someone would bicep curl like 2-3 times my usual weight. Speaking of which, I think that shoulder machine in bishan gym is spoilt... not logically possible for me to shoulder press 118kg la... that's quite illogical, but its somehow manageable. Must be the canoeing.
Learned another thing from mr b today.
Funny thing about emotional quotient is that it takes realization, either because someone else pointed it out to you or by self discovery, for you to be aware of something that you somehow, deep inside already knew.
It takes awareness of what we sometimes sense, to steer our thoughts and provide the basis for conscious comparison to find better solutions.
Anyway, the office sounds like shoe shop in far east nowadays. I'm glad I included those subwoofers to make use of the audigy2 when I was ordering the computer.
News of the new model of tanks being bought by the saf hit the office today. Alot of groans cause we were hoping for something like the ab**** or mer*****. Probably means that poor tem**** will be phased out.
And it sucks having to censor today's entry so much. For crying out loud most of this information can be somehow found on wikipedia anyway but its supposed to be classified nonsense? Good job national security!
Okay, time to destress with SOUTHPARK and go to sleep.
So ended up doing a 20:50 mins slow run instead.
Gymed in the office. I thought an audience was bad, but today there were cheerleaders too? -_-; I suppose I would be fascinated too if someone would bicep curl like 2-3 times my usual weight. Speaking of which, I think that shoulder machine in bishan gym is spoilt... not logically possible for me to shoulder press 118kg la... that's quite illogical, but its somehow manageable. Must be the canoeing.
Learned another thing from mr b today.
Funny thing about emotional quotient is that it takes realization, either because someone else pointed it out to you or by self discovery, for you to be aware of something that you somehow, deep inside already knew.
It takes awareness of what we sometimes sense, to steer our thoughts and provide the basis for conscious comparison to find better solutions.
Anyway, the office sounds like shoe shop in far east nowadays. I'm glad I included those subwoofers to make use of the audigy2 when I was ordering the computer.
News of the new model of tanks being bought by the saf hit the office today. Alot of groans cause we were hoping for something like the ab**** or mer*****. Probably means that poor tem**** will be phased out.
And it sucks having to censor today's entry so much. For crying out loud most of this information can be somehow found on wikipedia anyway but its supposed to be classified nonsense? Good job national security!
Okay, time to destress with SOUTHPARK and go to sleep.
Wednesday, August 16, 2006
Its 12:12 and I'm still not asleep. Going to be a zombie in camp tomorrow......
Knees hurting like hell due to limping around in boots due to abrasion/weather/doing leg presses incorrectly.
Run just now was 11:55mins. During the first slope I thought my hamstrings were going to cramp... damn pain. Think legs are still recovering from the gym session, but it was a good time to test it anyway.
The interview went pretty well, there's still the assignment to hand up first, but if all goes well, I'll be in a spot where only one person is qualified to take up every couple of years. And one of the alumnus did this year's ndp music, so expectations are quite high.
He picked quite a tough song to work on.. think this will take a couple of days.
Knees hurting like hell due to limping around in boots due to abrasion/weather/doing leg presses incorrectly.
Run just now was 11:55mins. During the first slope I thought my hamstrings were going to cramp... damn pain. Think legs are still recovering from the gym session, but it was a good time to test it anyway.
The interview went pretty well, there's still the assignment to hand up first, but if all goes well, I'll be in a spot where only one person is qualified to take up every couple of years. And one of the alumnus did this year's ndp music, so expectations are quite high.
He picked quite a tough song to work on.. think this will take a couple of days.
Tuesday, August 15, 2006
Went to talk to CC today. I think she'll be one of the few people that I'll miss from camp. Current progress for plan B - 45%.
Anyway I don't know why the people in office take my in-office dumb bell training to be some kind of performance... its amusing but I almost got internal injury laughing at their inferences to ninja turtles and shackness/kekness.
Old elbow injury almost came back during gym after that. Speaking of which a certain cultivated plant has taken it upon itself to harrass me with condescending remarks. I'm just afraid that wrestling the thing to the ground may re-injure one of its injured branches!
Talk about nteam during supper again. Somehow I wish I could be optimistic and ignore all the hard facts again. Maybe for the younger members the hard facts aren't that real so they can still cling on to hope and optimism, but there's a point in time when that just stopped working for me.
Maybe I just didn't get enough sleep these past few days. Yeah, last night only got 4 hours. Better get some shuteye now.
Anyway I don't know why the people in office take my in-office dumb bell training to be some kind of performance... its amusing but I almost got internal injury laughing at their inferences to ninja turtles and shackness/kekness.
Old elbow injury almost came back during gym after that. Speaking of which a certain cultivated plant has taken it upon itself to harrass me with condescending remarks. I'm just afraid that wrestling the thing to the ground may re-injure one of its injured branches!
Talk about nteam during supper again. Somehow I wish I could be optimistic and ignore all the hard facts again. Maybe for the younger members the hard facts aren't that real so they can still cling on to hope and optimism, but there's a point in time when that just stopped working for me.
Maybe I just didn't get enough sleep these past few days. Yeah, last night only got 4 hours. Better get some shuteye now.
Sunday, August 13, 2006
http://www.reubenkee.com/music/remixes/Furiously%20Fast.mp3
First time I did an arrangement with a race in mind. Haha this was pretty fun to do. Race start, turning, drifting, the last charge, victory, and celebration. Hip hop can be intelligent too.
I suppose this has a fair amount of "angst" in it too.
The show actually presented some promising points like racing to settle differences. Much like poke battles or digimon fights, instead of actual fighting and killing. BUT, they had to go and kill off poor han, which defeats the purpose of a non-violent solution.
Hectic day in camp tomorrow.
Ganbate, Reu.
First time I did an arrangement with a race in mind. Haha this was pretty fun to do. Race start, turning, drifting, the last charge, victory, and celebration. Hip hop can be intelligent too.
I suppose this has a fair amount of "angst" in it too.
The show actually presented some promising points like racing to settle differences. Much like poke battles or digimon fights, instead of actual fighting and killing. BUT, they had to go and kill off poor han, which defeats the purpose of a non-violent solution.
Hectic day in camp tomorrow.
Ganbate, Reu.
Made sure to go take a good shit and stretch my shins before the run just now.
Ran until chest abit pain. Could almost feel my asthma come back... but anyway, new personal best: 11:06. Shaneroh!
That would be a 9:00min to 9:30min 2.4km timing. Goal. At last haha. Now to make sure I stay around here or continue to get faster and not let this be a tyco fluke.
Was about time the cappilaries formed anyway. I estimate about 10-20 seconds more of improvement before next plateau and I'll have to go back to interval training.
Pullups: 35, 25, 20.
Couldn't break 40 today... stupid door frame is so godamn narrow, cannot stretch lats properly.
Only 3 sets of 40 pause crunches. Time to change program abit, kinda stagnating.
Need to faster break the 40 mark for pullup and get on my way to 50 asap.
2 more days till the interview and I can finalize my plans for the rest of my nsf career.
Ran until chest abit pain. Could almost feel my asthma come back... but anyway, new personal best: 11:06. Shaneroh!
That would be a 9:00min to 9:30min 2.4km timing. Goal. At last haha. Now to make sure I stay around here or continue to get faster and not let this be a tyco fluke.
Was about time the cappilaries formed anyway. I estimate about 10-20 seconds more of improvement before next plateau and I'll have to go back to interval training.
Pullups: 35, 25, 20.
Couldn't break 40 today... stupid door frame is so godamn narrow, cannot stretch lats properly.
Only 3 sets of 40 pause crunches. Time to change program abit, kinda stagnating.
Need to faster break the 40 mark for pullup and get on my way to 50 asap.
2 more days till the interview and I can finalize my plans for the rest of my nsf career.
The foil, epee, and sabre; lance-type of weapons used in fencing.
Points of attack: 2.
1st major point, the tip. Defensive manuevering should be centered around avoiding the piercing point. Thrusting attacks are the most deadly, but are the easiest to avoid because of the single dimension of attack. Any slashing or flicking involving the tip will result in minor slashes. It is because of this, that scoring a critical hit must require a stab or pierce and is considered a highly calculated and skillful technique.
2nd minor point, the blade. Due to the flimsy nature of the blade, it is difficult to predict and match the movement of consecutive strikes as the blade will carry forward the motion of the previous strike slightly into the next. Certain variants of the blade have up to 4 sides.
Need to go run but feeling very sleepy....
Points of attack: 2.
1st major point, the tip. Defensive manuevering should be centered around avoiding the piercing point. Thrusting attacks are the most deadly, but are the easiest to avoid because of the single dimension of attack. Any slashing or flicking involving the tip will result in minor slashes. It is because of this, that scoring a critical hit must require a stab or pierce and is considered a highly calculated and skillful technique.
2nd minor point, the blade. Due to the flimsy nature of the blade, it is difficult to predict and match the movement of consecutive strikes as the blade will carry forward the motion of the previous strike slightly into the next. Certain variants of the blade have up to 4 sides.
Need to go run but feeling very sleepy....
Saturday, August 12, 2006
Okay so the diarrhea got worse. I think it can be traced to one of the shaker cups that I didn't wash properly.
Anyway, one particular sentence struck me yesterday. Perhaps it was her strong chinese accent that reminded me of a certain chinese teacher who would ground her students back into the reality of life during lessons.
"Ni3 de4 ming4 hen2 ku3 ma1?"
Makes you realize that as a typical singaporean, we take so much forgranted. Our freedom, our safety, our way of life. But still unsatisfied, we yearn and long to feel more fulfilled.
Then again its only human nature to revolve our goals around our needs and wants.
Been thinking long and hard about the route after ns. On one hand, there's Business in SMU, Design in NTU, or just get out there are start doing music.
After O's, the choice seemed simpler, because I knew that I wanted to pursue my interest as a career and break away from the undecided majority which would proceed with what society coaxed them into believing is the better thing to do.
Now, its somehow not that simple. Because to follow my interest, there are more options available.
I always believe that if someone can teach you something, somewhere along the line someone must have figured it out on his own. Hence irregardless of the subject matter, someone went to rough it out and through experience procured the syllabus which would be spoon-fed to the drones of education.
I remember catching a few minutes of "the apprentice" one day during dinner. In that episode there were the street-wise business people, who grew up and established their businesses on their own. Then there was the other group which consisted of "qualified" professionals who set up their business after university. During the assigned task, neither class could out-shine the other as a group.
Perhaps I'm trying to relate this self-taught business paradigm to my music. Just as people can say that a self-taught business man will get dominated by someone who studies business, they can also say that a self-taught musician will never compare to someone who studies music. But this apparantly is not true.
I remember reading up somewhere that those who follow the safe and logical path climb up to the top 70%-80%. But to really breakthrough, you need something else. And the top 90% and 100% are made of those who make study qualification an obsolete aspect of their portfolio.
Do I have what it takes to be one of the special few? I don't know. But I know that you'll never get there if you don't even try.
Anyway, one particular sentence struck me yesterday. Perhaps it was her strong chinese accent that reminded me of a certain chinese teacher who would ground her students back into the reality of life during lessons.
"Ni3 de4 ming4 hen2 ku3 ma1?"
Makes you realize that as a typical singaporean, we take so much forgranted. Our freedom, our safety, our way of life. But still unsatisfied, we yearn and long to feel more fulfilled.
Then again its only human nature to revolve our goals around our needs and wants.
Been thinking long and hard about the route after ns. On one hand, there's Business in SMU, Design in NTU, or just get out there are start doing music.
After O's, the choice seemed simpler, because I knew that I wanted to pursue my interest as a career and break away from the undecided majority which would proceed with what society coaxed them into believing is the better thing to do.
Now, its somehow not that simple. Because to follow my interest, there are more options available.
I always believe that if someone can teach you something, somewhere along the line someone must have figured it out on his own. Hence irregardless of the subject matter, someone went to rough it out and through experience procured the syllabus which would be spoon-fed to the drones of education.
I remember catching a few minutes of "the apprentice" one day during dinner. In that episode there were the street-wise business people, who grew up and established their businesses on their own. Then there was the other group which consisted of "qualified" professionals who set up their business after university. During the assigned task, neither class could out-shine the other as a group.
Perhaps I'm trying to relate this self-taught business paradigm to my music. Just as people can say that a self-taught business man will get dominated by someone who studies business, they can also say that a self-taught musician will never compare to someone who studies music. But this apparantly is not true.
I remember reading up somewhere that those who follow the safe and logical path climb up to the top 70%-80%. But to really breakthrough, you need something else. And the top 90% and 100% are made of those who make study qualification an obsolete aspect of their portfolio.
Do I have what it takes to be one of the special few? I don't know. But I know that you'll never get there if you don't even try.
Thursday, August 10, 2006
Tonite's run: 11:32 mins. Almost shat my shorts again. I think something's wrong ... everytime I run too fast these few days I suddenly get diarrhea attacks.
It helps to do endurance training so the rest time is very short when you gym alone, so that you don't die of boredom.
Wrist started acting up after doing the wide grip variation for the shoulder press machine. Note to self to avoid that variation on that machine in future.
Met Joel, the 'other' vjc kia that used to be in the team. Supposedly he runs alot for ahm, but doesn't seem to lose much weight, and he's complaining about how weak he is and how he misses rowing. Well come and row and screw church dude!
Bleh... I shan't go into the whole church thing today.
Met Jag too. The bastard who used to be my only challenge in the canoeing team. Still remember how we would mercilessly taunt each other between sets haha. As it is with 99% of officers. After commisioning they become grossly nua. Although, I think that he could still limp out a 2.4km run in under 10 minutes.
Tired. Camp tml. 13km live run... don't think my knee and shin will hold out for it.
Then there's duty on Sat. Not sure if I should bring my ps2 and finish dragon warrior, or just watch movies and anime on the multimedia com. Will miss training with the team.
It helps to do endurance training so the rest time is very short when you gym alone, so that you don't die of boredom.
Wrist started acting up after doing the wide grip variation for the shoulder press machine. Note to self to avoid that variation on that machine in future.
Met Joel, the 'other' vjc kia that used to be in the team. Supposedly he runs alot for ahm, but doesn't seem to lose much weight, and he's complaining about how weak he is and how he misses rowing. Well come and row and screw church dude!
Bleh... I shan't go into the whole church thing today.
Met Jag too. The bastard who used to be my only challenge in the canoeing team. Still remember how we would mercilessly taunt each other between sets haha. As it is with 99% of officers. After commisioning they become grossly nua. Although, I think that he could still limp out a 2.4km run in under 10 minutes.
Tired. Camp tml. 13km live run... don't think my knee and shin will hold out for it.
Then there's duty on Sat. Not sure if I should bring my ps2 and finish dragon warrior, or just watch movies and anime on the multimedia com. Will miss training with the team.
Just finished this set of ringtone demos for Sony. I wish I had a phone that could play hi fidelity mp3s as the ringtone too.
Long day multitasking between the Concord project, Plan B, and work for Sony.
Got a call earlier in the day. Turns out one of my songs is going to be featured on MTV asia's website soon as part of Noise singapore's winning entries and judges choice.
So yeah, hoorah. 10 points for exposure, 0 points for money. But we're getting there.
Need to get back to practice now.
Long day multitasking between the Concord project, Plan B, and work for Sony.
Got a call earlier in the day. Turns out one of my songs is going to be featured on MTV asia's website soon as part of Noise singapore's winning entries and judges choice.
So yeah, hoorah. 10 points for exposure, 0 points for money. But we're getting there.
Need to get back to practice now.
Long run today to sin ming and back, 24 mins. Had to stop and stretch halfway to relieve tension in shins after the positive incline slope along the rafflesian villa.
Wanted to do 10 sets of 20 pullups again, but... its really damn time consuming.
Settled for 4 sets of 30 instead.
With 4 sets of 120 crunches and 4 sets of 60 leg raises.
Wanted to do 10 sets of 20 pullups again, but... its really damn time consuming.
Settled for 4 sets of 30 instead.
With 4 sets of 120 crunches and 4 sets of 60 leg raises.
Wednesday, August 09, 2006
The usual gym gang was injured / had other plans today, so called some of the nyp alumni together at bishan gym. Jem, Win and Hui.
Reminds me of the time we used to hang out in the weights room in school. Really miss school. Where after gym we could just walk across to the swimming pool to chill, or walk to the nearby canteen for that beautiful chicken rice and soup that changes every day, or walk a little further down to macs and gecko and get new england chicken platter.
I miss trying to keep my arm up to hold the charcoal during drawing classes, which felt like the whole world was weighing down on it due to the previous day's insane training program.
I miss how Cheryl would laugh at the most mundane things, and turn it into a hilarious spectacle.
I miss how the class would sneak out to watch movies in-between breaks. And the whole theater would be empty due to the weird hour.
I miss playing basketball in-between classes, when the court was just downstairs and across the road.
I miss how Dre's smile would always warm up my day. And how she would always worry about me finishing my work.
I miss alt+tabbing away from surfing the internet and pretending to listen to the lecturer.
I miss making an excuse to go to the toilet just to run down to food junction and sprint-eat a plate of chicken rice.
I miss going to block E to draw the key for the piano room to play the grand piano.
I miss rehearsals in the theatre and auditorium. And the thrill of performing infront of a 3000 strong crowd. The satisfaction after we put up a great show, yet the sadness that it was all over.
I miss walking to school from the mrt station, and having to return the greetings of 5-9 people on average everytime.
I never doubted it before, but I think that those were the best days of my life.
Its human nature to never appreciate things until you've lost it. Or to compare and think that something else is/was better. Will I ever look back with the same feeling of my NS days? I don't know.
The end of one cycle may be coming, years of preperation for that last resort may have to be put to use.
Always been a bad habit of mine to keep shuffling the cards until I get the hand that I want.
Movement on the letter has progressed. Have to modify the training program. So much work to be done. I promised myself that I would fight for each of the guys to form a better team, better make good with those words now.
Went out with her in town just now. Watched my super ex-girlfriend. Damn funny show.
We almost walked through that place. The place that made me begin to realize that things were getting out of hand.
I still remember the slight sensation of her reaching out to grab my hand, the rush of air around me as I spun around and tightened my grip on her hand, then stopping myself from hitting that critical spot as I recognized her face and scream.
I suppose I would have thought that such a reaction would have been cool, but if I had landed that kick on her like I did that poor guy during practice, she would be in for much more than a black out.
Its possible that such a thing would not be possible now. The sharpness I once had is no more due to lack of practice. But some things can't be forgotten, like riding a bike, or balancing in a k1.
Sometimes I wonder what things would have been like if I had continued tkd in poly. I'd probably whoop those nua black belts into shape. Go for tourneys, and the free-style fights.
Somehow, I remember hating each and every fight. Because I'd hate who I'd have to become. I could not be my normal self for the fight, because I would surely lose, and I'd hate having to become him, because he scared me. I remember losing a match because I refused to let him take over.
Compassion, empathy, respect for human life, are all things that must be forgotten after the bow. Because if you hold these things in your heart, you will not be able win. When you scream, your only guidance from taking things too far is discipline, and honor. Some fighters have even lost that. Afterall, its not a natural thing for a person to want to hurt the other just because he is wearing blue and you red. And once this wall comes down, its difficult to build back up. Worse is, that wall was the foundation for other important walls which would keep a person "normal".
Every time I looked at the world through his eyes, I felt powerful. Because he is not bound down by the usual limitations of the human psyche. Yet somehow, I must admit that the two of us are similar, due to the fact that the two of us were brought together due to our overly-competitive nature. It is this reason that there are times that I accidentally let him take over. But once he does, reclaiming control from him is not an easy task. Because he demands to be satiated, and he is not an easy foe to defeat, even for myself.
Every time I lose, I can hear him laugh.
Reminds me of the time we used to hang out in the weights room in school. Really miss school. Where after gym we could just walk across to the swimming pool to chill, or walk to the nearby canteen for that beautiful chicken rice and soup that changes every day, or walk a little further down to macs and gecko and get new england chicken platter.
I miss trying to keep my arm up to hold the charcoal during drawing classes, which felt like the whole world was weighing down on it due to the previous day's insane training program.
I miss how Cheryl would laugh at the most mundane things, and turn it into a hilarious spectacle.
I miss how the class would sneak out to watch movies in-between breaks. And the whole theater would be empty due to the weird hour.
I miss playing basketball in-between classes, when the court was just downstairs and across the road.
I miss how Dre's smile would always warm up my day. And how she would always worry about me finishing my work.
I miss alt+tabbing away from surfing the internet and pretending to listen to the lecturer.
I miss making an excuse to go to the toilet just to run down to food junction and sprint-eat a plate of chicken rice.
I miss going to block E to draw the key for the piano room to play the grand piano.
I miss rehearsals in the theatre and auditorium. And the thrill of performing infront of a 3000 strong crowd. The satisfaction after we put up a great show, yet the sadness that it was all over.
I miss walking to school from the mrt station, and having to return the greetings of 5-9 people on average everytime.
I never doubted it before, but I think that those were the best days of my life.
Its human nature to never appreciate things until you've lost it. Or to compare and think that something else is/was better. Will I ever look back with the same feeling of my NS days? I don't know.
The end of one cycle may be coming, years of preperation for that last resort may have to be put to use.
Always been a bad habit of mine to keep shuffling the cards until I get the hand that I want.
Movement on the letter has progressed. Have to modify the training program. So much work to be done. I promised myself that I would fight for each of the guys to form a better team, better make good with those words now.
Went out with her in town just now. Watched my super ex-girlfriend. Damn funny show.
We almost walked through that place. The place that made me begin to realize that things were getting out of hand.
I still remember the slight sensation of her reaching out to grab my hand, the rush of air around me as I spun around and tightened my grip on her hand, then stopping myself from hitting that critical spot as I recognized her face and scream.
I suppose I would have thought that such a reaction would have been cool, but if I had landed that kick on her like I did that poor guy during practice, she would be in for much more than a black out.
Its possible that such a thing would not be possible now. The sharpness I once had is no more due to lack of practice. But some things can't be forgotten, like riding a bike, or balancing in a k1.
Sometimes I wonder what things would have been like if I had continued tkd in poly. I'd probably whoop those nua black belts into shape. Go for tourneys, and the free-style fights.
Somehow, I remember hating each and every fight. Because I'd hate who I'd have to become. I could not be my normal self for the fight, because I would surely lose, and I'd hate having to become him, because he scared me. I remember losing a match because I refused to let him take over.
Compassion, empathy, respect for human life, are all things that must be forgotten after the bow. Because if you hold these things in your heart, you will not be able win. When you scream, your only guidance from taking things too far is discipline, and honor. Some fighters have even lost that. Afterall, its not a natural thing for a person to want to hurt the other just because he is wearing blue and you red. And once this wall comes down, its difficult to build back up. Worse is, that wall was the foundation for other important walls which would keep a person "normal".
Every time I looked at the world through his eyes, I felt powerful. Because he is not bound down by the usual limitations of the human psyche. Yet somehow, I must admit that the two of us are similar, due to the fact that the two of us were brought together due to our overly-competitive nature. It is this reason that there are times that I accidentally let him take over. But once he does, reclaiming control from him is not an easy task. Because he demands to be satiated, and he is not an easy foe to defeat, even for myself.
Every time I lose, I can hear him laugh.
Tuesday, August 08, 2006
The first card is in. Now for just a few more.
May set the plan into motion, to follow that dream. I can't imagine adapting to a new camp all over again. The team will still be my top priority tho.
Sometimes I wonder how far I go just to pursue my interests. In the first year of school, I remember people saying that it would be impossible for someone in my course to cope with the workload and a cca like db. True enough, the few daring enough to try eventually dropped out.
And by the time I graduated, juggling 3 ccas, presidenting one and captaining the other through musicals, concerts, races, camps, recruitment drives and the occasional event, seemed like the only way to get through school.
However, on retrospect, I recall some tension between lecturers, when I was asking for more time for my ccas. Oh what a bitch that lecturer was. On the other hand, my ties with the staff related to ccas were much better.
In life, there will be people who tell you what the norm is. What is possible, and what is not. But these people base their deductions on heresy or inaccurate accounts; or perhaps they were accurate accounts, but of far less capable people. The clearer waters are clearer because no one dares venture out to them. But with greater risk, comes greater reward. When you are further out, there are bigger fish to catch. While the multitude fight amongst each other for their small fish.
I have yet to manipulate this system to my will.
May set the plan into motion, to follow that dream. I can't imagine adapting to a new camp all over again. The team will still be my top priority tho.
Sometimes I wonder how far I go just to pursue my interests. In the first year of school, I remember people saying that it would be impossible for someone in my course to cope with the workload and a cca like db. True enough, the few daring enough to try eventually dropped out.
And by the time I graduated, juggling 3 ccas, presidenting one and captaining the other through musicals, concerts, races, camps, recruitment drives and the occasional event, seemed like the only way to get through school.
However, on retrospect, I recall some tension between lecturers, when I was asking for more time for my ccas. Oh what a bitch that lecturer was. On the other hand, my ties with the staff related to ccas were much better.
In life, there will be people who tell you what the norm is. What is possible, and what is not. But these people base their deductions on heresy or inaccurate accounts; or perhaps they were accurate accounts, but of far less capable people. The clearer waters are clearer because no one dares venture out to them. But with greater risk, comes greater reward. When you are further out, there are bigger fish to catch. While the multitude fight amongst each other for their small fish.
I have yet to manipulate this system to my will.
Omg its been forever since I spent a full day in camp.
Knew bad things were going to happen. I had already used up an important card for the indo trip, and though it paid off in some way, it could have been held till later.
Quite dissapointed that he would say that to me, but I can understand where he's coming from. Sad that even Major S had to come up and console me. Duty to country, I suppose. Everyone around camp thinks I'm the luckiest guy in camp. Little do they know the amount of sacrifice put in.
Anyway, was quite reluctant to do so at first, but have begun preperations for plan B. Hopefully I won't have to use it, but if I've come so far to let this jeapordize 1 year of careful planning.
There once was a musician who learned from many scores. The scores whom acknowledged him found peace and joy in having him play their music. However the scores whom did not acknowledge him were overthrown and burnt, because as they did not appreciate the musician, he could not appreciate them.
One day, he was playing a score.
"I want to believe that this score will see my value. But if need be, no matter how great the song, or powerful the composer, I will find a better score instead."
He didn't want to burn this score, because it possessed an interesting melody. But if need be, he would.
"A good leader aims to win his peers over:
When he is alone with each individual,
When he is infront of the group,
When they are infront of other groups."
Please let me be right about you.
Today's run - 11:29 Better than last night, but not my best timing. Tried to emulate the quickstep technique. Which was kinda interrupted due to massive stomach cramps halfway through. The contractions got closer and closer together till I almost shat my shorts haha. Luckily I managed to finish the run... but the desperation made my quickstep abit too shallow and the shins were burning after the run.
10 sets of 20 pullups
5 sets of crunches and calf raises.
Had to use Cpt L's gloves for the pullups as the last time I attempted 200 pullups, the skin almost came off my hands. Was so nice of him to buy those gloves for the team.
Waiting for the letter is headache. Trying to get the letter done is headacher.
The world needs me as supreme dictator to run more smoothly.
Knew bad things were going to happen. I had already used up an important card for the indo trip, and though it paid off in some way, it could have been held till later.
Quite dissapointed that he would say that to me, but I can understand where he's coming from. Sad that even Major S had to come up and console me. Duty to country, I suppose. Everyone around camp thinks I'm the luckiest guy in camp. Little do they know the amount of sacrifice put in.
Anyway, was quite reluctant to do so at first, but have begun preperations for plan B. Hopefully I won't have to use it, but if I've come so far to let this jeapordize 1 year of careful planning.
There once was a musician who learned from many scores. The scores whom acknowledged him found peace and joy in having him play their music. However the scores whom did not acknowledge him were overthrown and burnt, because as they did not appreciate the musician, he could not appreciate them.
One day, he was playing a score.
"I want to believe that this score will see my value. But if need be, no matter how great the song, or powerful the composer, I will find a better score instead."
He didn't want to burn this score, because it possessed an interesting melody. But if need be, he would.
"A good leader aims to win his peers over:
When he is alone with each individual,
When he is infront of the group,
When they are infront of other groups."
Please let me be right about you.
Today's run - 11:29 Better than last night, but not my best timing. Tried to emulate the quickstep technique. Which was kinda interrupted due to massive stomach cramps halfway through. The contractions got closer and closer together till I almost shat my shorts haha. Luckily I managed to finish the run... but the desperation made my quickstep abit too shallow and the shins were burning after the run.
10 sets of 20 pullups
5 sets of crunches and calf raises.
Had to use Cpt L's gloves for the pullups as the last time I attempted 200 pullups, the skin almost came off my hands. Was so nice of him to buy those gloves for the team.
Waiting for the letter is headache. Trying to get the letter done is headacher.
The world needs me as supreme dictator to run more smoothly.
Sunday, August 06, 2006
Tonite's run - 11:44.
Not as fast as the other day. Legs were kinda suan from yesterday's dashes and leg presses.
Its quite sad how people let their pride get the better of them and don't take warnings seriously. Its not that I get some sort of ego trip by giving off a warning. But I really worry for the safety of that person and what might happen.
Some people are too used to letting out their childish tantrums, unaware that they might awaken something that has been restraining itself since forever.
Its easy because, small build ups can be released easily, but larger objects go out in a bigger bang.
When you've come this close to extinguishing a light. You come to fear yourself at times. I'm scared of what might happen if I really just let loose. I'm scared of the consequences once I lose control.
Perhaps I'm lacking sleep and sound control over myself and my emotions.
Maybe I have too many things to worry about tonight.
I guess She was right. I do have more things to worry about now.
Not as fast as the other day. Legs were kinda suan from yesterday's dashes and leg presses.
Its quite sad how people let their pride get the better of them and don't take warnings seriously. Its not that I get some sort of ego trip by giving off a warning. But I really worry for the safety of that person and what might happen.
Some people are too used to letting out their childish tantrums, unaware that they might awaken something that has been restraining itself since forever.
Its easy because, small build ups can be released easily, but larger objects go out in a bigger bang.
When you've come this close to extinguishing a light. You come to fear yourself at times. I'm scared of what might happen if I really just let loose. I'm scared of the consequences once I lose control.
Perhaps I'm lacking sleep and sound control over myself and my emotions.
Maybe I have too many things to worry about tonight.
I guess She was right. I do have more things to worry about now.
Saturday, August 05, 2006
I miss being able to get really involved in a game. What ever happened to the freedom of letting your imagination run about in another universe? Today, all the constraints, facts and worries of the real world constantly constrict and compress one's mind, preventing him from thinking about what could be.
Maybe its part of growing up.
I never did want to grow up.
I'll probably read this tomorrow morning and wonder what the hell I was thinking.
Maybe its part of growing up.
I never did want to grow up.
I'll probably read this tomorrow morning and wonder what the hell I was thinking.
Uh oh... I think I haven't been getting enough sleep for the past few days too. Was in that mood again uh oh.
Anyway, hanging out with them again was nice. Was good to know that my little bros were getting along fine in life. I'm glad that he made that decision, even though I asked him the question that he's probably been waiting for since forever. Still remember that time when I asked him to "take care of my team." I don't think I could have passed down to a better person. Not because I trained and mentored him, but because he already possessed the key traits required.
So Jem finally stepped down. Kinda all of a sudden wtf. Got a feeling that him tying up everything means he won't be joining us anymore. Been rowing with that idiot for about 4 years now. Still remember the time when he first came into the team and I took him for gym and taught him the stations, and tried to make him do the 360 killer abs machine routine. The only reason why I'm irked by his idiosyncrasies is because I understand him, but it'll be weird without the big head around. Come to think of it, I wonder how Johnny is doing.
Anyway back to the dinner. Its really interesting to compare how chinese clicks and the english-speaking clicks contrast. Can't really go into detail about that now because I can't think too hard at this moment of time.
One thing's amusing tho. The slang to go clubbing is to go and "chiong". Which sounds very garang, but in actual fact means spend too much money and get wasted.
Meeting tomorrow. I don't know if I still have the energy to try and save the team again. Last effort was a huge failure. And people are being assholes. And as much as I hate it, I may have to be an asshole soon, because I'm just so tired of fighting on for a lost cause. I hope an answer will come to me when I wake up tomorrow morning.
Anyway, hanging out with them again was nice. Was good to know that my little bros were getting along fine in life. I'm glad that he made that decision, even though I asked him the question that he's probably been waiting for since forever. Still remember that time when I asked him to "take care of my team." I don't think I could have passed down to a better person. Not because I trained and mentored him, but because he already possessed the key traits required.
So Jem finally stepped down. Kinda all of a sudden wtf. Got a feeling that him tying up everything means he won't be joining us anymore. Been rowing with that idiot for about 4 years now. Still remember the time when he first came into the team and I took him for gym and taught him the stations, and tried to make him do the 360 killer abs machine routine. The only reason why I'm irked by his idiosyncrasies is because I understand him, but it'll be weird without the big head around. Come to think of it, I wonder how Johnny is doing.
Anyway back to the dinner. Its really interesting to compare how chinese clicks and the english-speaking clicks contrast. Can't really go into detail about that now because I can't think too hard at this moment of time.
One thing's amusing tho. The slang to go clubbing is to go and "chiong". Which sounds very garang, but in actual fact means spend too much money and get wasted.
Meeting tomorrow. I don't know if I still have the energy to try and save the team again. Last effort was a huge failure. And people are being assholes. And as much as I hate it, I may have to be an asshole soon, because I'm just so tired of fighting on for a lost cause. I hope an answer will come to me when I wake up tomorrow morning.
So tired. Last night's 5km run, then pushups and crunches. Then 4 hours of sleep before training today.
I'm glad I got Adrian to work with. Helps relieve my mind of alot of stuff so that I can focus on some stuff while he focuses on other stuff.
Its difficult doing your own training program with the team because you need to follow the program to moderate pressure for them. But for me... its lacking in intensity. It would be unfeasible to expect them to follow my personal program, but the challenge therein, is how to raise their standard to the top of the team's standard in the shortest amount of time, then push from there.
Still took too long for training today. Bloody hell. There was one time when I felt like... but I'm glad I didn't. I know that there will be a time closer to the race when that will have to come out. But now is not the time.
Good that some people are exercising more caution about their injuries. I know how frustrating it can be. But we're only human. If something's busted, you need to spend time to repair it.
Almost fell asleep during gym just now.
The mutton curry is damn nice la.
Difficult to think in a linear fashion now.
Need to go for Dennis' birthday meeting, then get home and sleep asap.
zzzz....
I'm glad I got Adrian to work with. Helps relieve my mind of alot of stuff so that I can focus on some stuff while he focuses on other stuff.
Its difficult doing your own training program with the team because you need to follow the program to moderate pressure for them. But for me... its lacking in intensity. It would be unfeasible to expect them to follow my personal program, but the challenge therein, is how to raise their standard to the top of the team's standard in the shortest amount of time, then push from there.
Still took too long for training today. Bloody hell. There was one time when I felt like... but I'm glad I didn't. I know that there will be a time closer to the race when that will have to come out. But now is not the time.
Good that some people are exercising more caution about their injuries. I know how frustrating it can be. But we're only human. If something's busted, you need to spend time to repair it.
Almost fell asleep during gym just now.
The mutton curry is damn nice la.
Difficult to think in a linear fashion now.
Need to go for Dennis' birthday meeting, then get home and sleep asap.
zzzz....
Today was long run day. Did 23:03 mins for the route through ri, rjc, sin ming, then back through central and the small park. And the knee was kinda pain. Halfway through it was very pain. Guess it still hasn't fully recovered yet.
And now I need to plan the program for the training camp. Doh. Think I'll reference for the db camp I organized for school last time, if I can find the damn file.
Discovered today that standing one handed dumbell bicep curl is one of the worst exercises to do for the wrist.
Pullups program today was unweighted at 37 reps, 22 reps, 16 reps. Which is... 1 count below my calculations. Maybe it was the sprints before that.
The trip and getting sick with the flu seems to have made me lose 3kg... becoming a skinny shit again haha. Got good and bad points. Anyway... I may have to resort to become a chao stacker if this keeps up.
Tired. New program tomorrow. Sleep now.
And now I need to plan the program for the training camp. Doh. Think I'll reference for the db camp I organized for school last time, if I can find the damn file.
Discovered today that standing one handed dumbell bicep curl is one of the worst exercises to do for the wrist.
Pullups program today was unweighted at 37 reps, 22 reps, 16 reps. Which is... 1 count below my calculations. Maybe it was the sprints before that.
The trip and getting sick with the flu seems to have made me lose 3kg... becoming a skinny shit again haha. Got good and bad points. Anyway... I may have to resort to become a chao stacker if this keeps up.
Tired. New program tomorrow. Sleep now.
Thursday, August 03, 2006
Just spent the last 5-6 hours discussing and planning the proposed training program for the team... AND ITS STILL NOT FINISHED YET! Erm... lots of work to be done because the last training program was quite brief.
Its not like school when I only had to plan for training session per training session... for a whole day affair you need to give allowancy for recovery and different activity zones. Luckily all that and the planning for camps has granted some experience. Plus, having a someone with a Ph.d plan a training program for me has proved to be invaluable reference material.
Went to run the usual route again. When was the last time I ran it? Hrm... since the knee injury, then the one day flu... its been like 2 weeks of no running? Except the two 2.4km runs up and down the corridor at the hotel in indonesia.
And oh my gawd... Maybe it was the sprinting on the canoe, maybe it was the substitute stair climbing, or the race sets, or chemical C, or the fear of clocking a sucky timing after just recovering from the flu today, but I clocked a new persone best... 11:22mins.
That's like... 18 secs faster than my previous timing.
So surreal.
The periods to come will be the time to see if I had placed all my pieces in the right place. The game will be set in motion at last.
Its not like school when I only had to plan for training session per training session... for a whole day affair you need to give allowancy for recovery and different activity zones. Luckily all that and the planning for camps has granted some experience. Plus, having a someone with a Ph.d plan a training program for me has proved to be invaluable reference material.
Went to run the usual route again. When was the last time I ran it? Hrm... since the knee injury, then the one day flu... its been like 2 weeks of no running? Except the two 2.4km runs up and down the corridor at the hotel in indonesia.
And oh my gawd... Maybe it was the sprinting on the canoe, maybe it was the substitute stair climbing, or the race sets, or chemical C, or the fear of clocking a sucky timing after just recovering from the flu today, but I clocked a new persone best... 11:22mins.
That's like... 18 secs faster than my previous timing.
So surreal.
The periods to come will be the time to see if I had placed all my pieces in the right place. The game will be set in motion at last.
Just wanna jot down some observations about some of the indonesian teams.
The winners apparantly, didn't have enough rooms to stay in, so they had to sleep in the bus and van. They didn't have clean water to drink and shower in. They didn't have a tentage to put their stuff at. They didn't have food taken care of for them. But they went out and won something. I think if anyone, they deserved to win.
On the topic of changing Jerseys, its a shame that they are all so short, though big, but all the jerseys I traded seem to be... pretty short and tight. Sigh. The Marines jersey I got was the most... aesthetically unique. Looke liks some 1980s bathing suit top.
It was quite interesting to see the winning teams use that starting sequence. It confirmed my original beliefs for a starting sequence, and shows that I'm on the right track.
Sad to say, among all the singapore teams that I have observed, Ben was the only one who got it right.
The winners apparantly, didn't have enough rooms to stay in, so they had to sleep in the bus and van. They didn't have clean water to drink and shower in. They didn't have a tentage to put their stuff at. They didn't have food taken care of for them. But they went out and won something. I think if anyone, they deserved to win.
On the topic of changing Jerseys, its a shame that they are all so short, though big, but all the jerseys I traded seem to be... pretty short and tight. Sigh. The Marines jersey I got was the most... aesthetically unique. Looke liks some 1980s bathing suit top.
It was quite interesting to see the winning teams use that starting sequence. It confirmed my original beliefs for a starting sequence, and shows that I'm on the right track.
Sad to say, among all the singapore teams that I have observed, Ben was the only one who got it right.
Wednesday, August 02, 2006
Ok, it sucks to be sick.
No appetite, nausea and congestion.
Think its a virus or something. I knew I was in trouble once I ran out of multivit.
Ironically, my 3 day mc is for the knee injury and nothing to do with the virus. Too bad mc's can't stack.
Almost passed out in the gym just now... dog seemed kinda worried that my lips were pale haha.
Here come another 2 weeks of stressful planning and deliberation.
Make the difference, Reu.
No appetite, nausea and congestion.
Think its a virus or something. I knew I was in trouble once I ran out of multivit.
Ironically, my 3 day mc is for the knee injury and nothing to do with the virus. Too bad mc's can't stack.
Almost passed out in the gym just now... dog seemed kinda worried that my lips were pale haha.
Here come another 2 weeks of stressful planning and deliberation.
Make the difference, Reu.
Dunno what to say about the trip...
Its sad, really. Recently It always seems to be the case that races that I train like hell and have high hopes for, usually crash and burn. But races that pop out from nowhere and I don't really have very high expectations of and just chiong with a gung ho spirit are the ones that bring the medals.
But at least coming in 2nd for the relay open osim thriathlon with thomas and daryl, and the k2 race with kenny felt good, because we beat alot of strong opponents. But try as I might, I can't feel proud for this one, because of certain circumstances.
Anyway, the trip was a real eye-opener for us and helped us to get to know the commandos faction better. Its a funny thought that if I had followed through with the interviews during the last year in school, I would be on the commandos faction, getting to know the composite faction better instead.
Alot of strong spirits in the team, some of which greatly impressed me. One of which was Bsn, who is very good at putting up a gung ho attitude.
I have one gripe. That is, everyone said that nasi padang originated in "padang". Well that seemed to be utter bullshit? Because all that was there was nasi goreng and ayam goreng with anorexic chicken! Its no wonder all of the population there is so small... how are they to grow with such little protein intake? Damn poor thing.
After one of the races, I couldn't switch it off. Had to knock it on a wooden surface to try to stabilize it before it short circuited.
Anyway its interesting how some singaporeans are so "gian" about standing stroke. Just because the overseas teams are doing it, monkey see, monkey do. Standing stroke originated because the rowers had experience in a C1, and they applied their stroke into the dragonboat to develop the kneeling stance. Squatting standing stance is tried and tested to be an inferior technique.
Nevertheless, ignoring all my calculations that clearly pointed that we were better off not using the standing stroke, I figured I wouldn't be a kill-joy and let them have their fun. After all, this kind of race is about having fun, right?
Everyone falling sick during and after the trip. Time to get some rest.
Its sad, really. Recently It always seems to be the case that races that I train like hell and have high hopes for, usually crash and burn. But races that pop out from nowhere and I don't really have very high expectations of and just chiong with a gung ho spirit are the ones that bring the medals.
But at least coming in 2nd for the relay open osim thriathlon with thomas and daryl, and the k2 race with kenny felt good, because we beat alot of strong opponents. But try as I might, I can't feel proud for this one, because of certain circumstances.
Anyway, the trip was a real eye-opener for us and helped us to get to know the commandos faction better. Its a funny thought that if I had followed through with the interviews during the last year in school, I would be on the commandos faction, getting to know the composite faction better instead.
Alot of strong spirits in the team, some of which greatly impressed me. One of which was Bsn, who is very good at putting up a gung ho attitude.
I have one gripe. That is, everyone said that nasi padang originated in "padang". Well that seemed to be utter bullshit? Because all that was there was nasi goreng and ayam goreng with anorexic chicken! Its no wonder all of the population there is so small... how are they to grow with such little protein intake? Damn poor thing.
After one of the races, I couldn't switch it off. Had to knock it on a wooden surface to try to stabilize it before it short circuited.
Anyway its interesting how some singaporeans are so "gian" about standing stroke. Just because the overseas teams are doing it, monkey see, monkey do. Standing stroke originated because the rowers had experience in a C1, and they applied their stroke into the dragonboat to develop the kneeling stance. Squatting standing stance is tried and tested to be an inferior technique.
Nevertheless, ignoring all my calculations that clearly pointed that we were better off not using the standing stroke, I figured I wouldn't be a kill-joy and let them have their fun. After all, this kind of race is about having fun, right?
Everyone falling sick during and after the trip. Time to get some rest.
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