Yes an update... but not a log of events.. behold a rant.
You see, a friend of mine told me she was practicing the piano for the concert this friday and her sibling came up and told her "There was no emotion, you don't need to perform this friday lah."
It really pisses me off when people diss people who are of a lower qualification. Yes, you may have a diploma in music, yes you may be able to read scores well and emulate well like a robot, well done. But if you think that music is some kind of lame cert or qualification which you can use to diss those of lower qualification or perhaps those of lower standard then guess what? You just wasted all your years "learning" music. You've learnt shit. You know why? Because music is about communication. Its about feelings, and I mean real feelings not your concept of high to play softer or louder or how to manipulate a melody to fool other people.
If you are so high up there, then its your responsibility to help those who are under you. Give them constructive feedback.
Maybe I've been there before.
Maybe I've played at competitions that it didn't matter if you had grade one or a diploma and those of lower grade could out play the diploma holders any day of the year.
Maybe I'm just protective of my friend. Cause I've seen her improve alot over time as well. You know what? Maybe your sibling is insecure about her quality and is taking it out on you.
But god willing if I ever come across such a person I will lay the smack down on him or her.
Hell yeah.
Thursday, March 18, 2004
I just thought I'd leave a more positive note on my blog, since some people whom have been reading it think that I am utterly demoralised based on the results of the race.
Yes, I wake up everyday, psyched up and ready to run for training, then I realize that its over - I had the chance and I blew it.
In the previous dragonboat races, we could always blame our poor overall team attendace, we could blame those who were slackers, we could blame those who didn't turn up for training regularly, we could blame those who didn't have the passion.
But this time, its me, who trained 9 times a week, who did all the research, who did all the mental rehearsals and psyche prep and visualization, to just fail lost his top 3 placing due to a misestimation of current. And to think I even beat Benny at 3rd place before...
But I couldn't pull it together.
Then I look at Jason. His stroke and pull somehow, is miraculous. And I can tell you this, even if he fouled up his direction, and made a big S curve like I did, he would still be infront. And I know, that I want to achieve that edge.
To be able to row so well, that I could cough up a hairball in the middle of the race and still be infront of everyone else who is on par with each other.
Did quite alot of thinking early in the week. Athletes must be the most free people in the world. We train so many hours a day, so many days a month, so many months a years just for 1 or 2 minutes to do the same thing with other free people.
I went out with Hong on monday. We watched the Butterfly effect... damn awesome concept behind the show btw. And he talked forever during dinner.
We were bitching about the team's attendace as usual, like every year, blaming the previous batches for not recruiting enough and in turn setting of a chain reaction. Then I blamed his batch for only managing to maintain 1 rower out of the 120 who signed up that year.
Then he said something which totally blew me away. "I'd rather we found one which is eh gan (got balls), then so many which is beh gan (no balls). And that was the first time my bro said something positive about me... then he said "Imagine if we had more like melvin." And we broke out laughing (sorry Melvin).
Then I went out with her on Tuesday for dinner. We were supposed to go to the gym together but she was feeling tired. How I love the way she is so humble, yet open in a conversation. And I can imagine being with her forever, sharing with her, laughing with her. But then I remembered something Thomas told me before. "My dad just told me this: 'Can you support her if you love her?'" And I will not be like those naive secondary school couples whos parents are supporting their relationship. But in the end I don't even have the time for something like that now, not since a long time.
And working on the musical with the actors and pianists is a wild ride. Coaxing the pianists to compose and tweaking their songs with them has produced very pleaseing results. I'm suprised with what they have come up with as I'm sure they are too. And the singers are picking up the songs pretty well, and they love it.
Staff meeting tomorrow with the company again. Dom and Rob and damn funny, kept calling me the prodigy during the previous staff meeting.
I just want the game to make it big. I just want the musical to be a success. I just want to kickass in the canoeing nationals ni the middle of the year.
Here's to a bigger, better chapter.
Yes, I wake up everyday, psyched up and ready to run for training, then I realize that its over - I had the chance and I blew it.
In the previous dragonboat races, we could always blame our poor overall team attendace, we could blame those who were slackers, we could blame those who didn't turn up for training regularly, we could blame those who didn't have the passion.
But this time, its me, who trained 9 times a week, who did all the research, who did all the mental rehearsals and psyche prep and visualization, to just fail lost his top 3 placing due to a misestimation of current. And to think I even beat Benny at 3rd place before...
But I couldn't pull it together.
Then I look at Jason. His stroke and pull somehow, is miraculous. And I can tell you this, even if he fouled up his direction, and made a big S curve like I did, he would still be infront. And I know, that I want to achieve that edge.
To be able to row so well, that I could cough up a hairball in the middle of the race and still be infront of everyone else who is on par with each other.
Did quite alot of thinking early in the week. Athletes must be the most free people in the world. We train so many hours a day, so many days a month, so many months a years just for 1 or 2 minutes to do the same thing with other free people.
I went out with Hong on monday. We watched the Butterfly effect... damn awesome concept behind the show btw. And he talked forever during dinner.
We were bitching about the team's attendace as usual, like every year, blaming the previous batches for not recruiting enough and in turn setting of a chain reaction. Then I blamed his batch for only managing to maintain 1 rower out of the 120 who signed up that year.
Then he said something which totally blew me away. "I'd rather we found one which is eh gan (got balls), then so many which is beh gan (no balls). And that was the first time my bro said something positive about me... then he said "Imagine if we had more like melvin." And we broke out laughing (sorry Melvin).
Then I went out with her on Tuesday for dinner. We were supposed to go to the gym together but she was feeling tired. How I love the way she is so humble, yet open in a conversation. And I can imagine being with her forever, sharing with her, laughing with her. But then I remembered something Thomas told me before. "My dad just told me this: 'Can you support her if you love her?'" And I will not be like those naive secondary school couples whos parents are supporting their relationship. But in the end I don't even have the time for something like that now, not since a long time.
And working on the musical with the actors and pianists is a wild ride. Coaxing the pianists to compose and tweaking their songs with them has produced very pleaseing results. I'm suprised with what they have come up with as I'm sure they are too. And the singers are picking up the songs pretty well, and they love it.
Staff meeting tomorrow with the company again. Dom and Rob and damn funny, kept calling me the prodigy during the previous staff meeting.
I just want the game to make it big. I just want the musical to be a success. I just want to kickass in the canoeing nationals ni the middle of the year.
Here's to a bigger, better chapter.
Sunday, March 14, 2004
Redwind and I did the most fantastic start.
But I had misread the currents. Almost went into the wrong lane which would have resulted in me getting disqualified, so I swept and swept. Back to lane 1. But the big S curve had slowed us down so much, I did another start, I chased after them.
But to no avail.
I had always known this was a possibly outcome. Walking to the race site I saw a canoeist, red eyed and sniffing, his friend trying to console him. Then walked by another pair, another despaired guy.
I remember Ben once told us "Those who come up from a unsuccesful race, with black faces, with sad expressions, are real losers."
I saw Jason and smiled. "Nice race." He said, as he smiled at me. The gold was his now. The probablity of the outcome for him was 99% based on my previous data and sets with him.
Was I naive to think that I could make it against these experienced canoeists, with just 8 months in the T1? No... I came so close....
Didn't go out to celebrate Samantha's gold and bronze. Sorry Samantha. Went to buy a new basketball and headed to the court to play in a long time.
I felt like a burden had been lifted from me.
Yet this anger.
Heh. I always get psyched up to train harder after losing. To go wild.
I remember having a talk with Yongqiang a couple of weeks back:
"Do you think God will help you in this race?" He asked.
I paused. "What if God doesn't want me to win." I remember telling him that I wanted to make this on my own. My own power, not his. My effort.
He laughed. "Why do you say such a thing?"
I didn't reply.
Because maybe that Ass may want to humble me through me losing.
But I haven't give up yet.
Nationals in the middle of the year. My next target.
Perhaps this may be the last entry for awhile.
I've started this blog in the hope to look back in the future and reflect, maybe learn from the past.
But there are many perspectives that I have to acknowledge. Too many to log down. And what better time to close a chapter, as I move on to a brand new one.
This was dedicated to Redwind. You were not as new or shiney as the newer boats like Bloody Mary, or Rouge. You were scratched and even had your floaters broken off. But you were always the most beautiful boat for me. May your new owner show you greater speed.
Love, your 2004 SICC 6th place finalist,
Reu.
But I had misread the currents. Almost went into the wrong lane which would have resulted in me getting disqualified, so I swept and swept. Back to lane 1. But the big S curve had slowed us down so much, I did another start, I chased after them.
But to no avail.
I had always known this was a possibly outcome. Walking to the race site I saw a canoeist, red eyed and sniffing, his friend trying to console him. Then walked by another pair, another despaired guy.
I remember Ben once told us "Those who come up from a unsuccesful race, with black faces, with sad expressions, are real losers."
I saw Jason and smiled. "Nice race." He said, as he smiled at me. The gold was his now. The probablity of the outcome for him was 99% based on my previous data and sets with him.
Was I naive to think that I could make it against these experienced canoeists, with just 8 months in the T1? No... I came so close....
Didn't go out to celebrate Samantha's gold and bronze. Sorry Samantha. Went to buy a new basketball and headed to the court to play in a long time.
I felt like a burden had been lifted from me.
Yet this anger.
Heh. I always get psyched up to train harder after losing. To go wild.
I remember having a talk with Yongqiang a couple of weeks back:
"Do you think God will help you in this race?" He asked.
I paused. "What if God doesn't want me to win." I remember telling him that I wanted to make this on my own. My own power, not his. My effort.
He laughed. "Why do you say such a thing?"
I didn't reply.
Because maybe that Ass may want to humble me through me losing.
But I haven't give up yet.
Nationals in the middle of the year. My next target.
Perhaps this may be the last entry for awhile.
I've started this blog in the hope to look back in the future and reflect, maybe learn from the past.
But there are many perspectives that I have to acknowledge. Too many to log down. And what better time to close a chapter, as I move on to a brand new one.
This was dedicated to Redwind. You were not as new or shiney as the newer boats like Bloody Mary, or Rouge. You were scratched and even had your floaters broken off. But you were always the most beautiful boat for me. May your new owner show you greater speed.
Love, your 2004 SICC 6th place finalist,
Reu.
Saturday, March 13, 2004
So on the way to the start line, these huge waves hit me and Hongda's T2, flooding the boat with water.
But our event was next. And I made the call to carry on despite this fact.
I made a bad call.
I should have went to the beach to drain water and make the starter wait for us.
But would he wait?
Apparantly, yes, we had a nice starter today, and he would have.
I'm sorry, Sebas, it was my fault. We couldn't execute the pull with the additional weight in the boat.
Mixed feelings when we docked back to the pontoon.
Inside I know it was my fault for not making the call to drain water. But I also doubted his fighting spirit.
Nevertheless, I stroked Redwing, and told her that we will redeem ourselves.
I went early the next time to the start line. Everything was made perfect. I saw our competitors, a couple of first timers, the godly uni rowers in their last years. Talked to Jason abit. Asked him if he thought the NUS rower was fast. He gave an ambigous reply. "Respect to all opponents", he told me before we departed to our lanes.
We smiled back and forth, giving each other the thumbs up. We had everything and anything in common. Having trained, whether for the past few months, or for many many years, for this one race. Only the top 3 out of the 5 would make it to the finals tomorrow. We were the best of friends for those brief minutes, yet bitter rivals.
The call to start.
"Ready!"
All was calm, I had run this race both physically and in my head hundreds of times.
I looked at Redwing, and she smiled back at me.
The loud airhorn sounded as we charged to that one single line 500 metres away.
The start burst was good, yes, I could feel it.
Looking to the left side, Jason(NTU) and Choon Meng(NUS) seemed to be pulling away, Jason with his godly speed again. Even Jiaming(Ngee Ann) was slowly pulling away from me.
The water was choppy, direction was off! I was heading to the wrong lane! Swept to my right, and Redwind was on course again. I felt this race was going to be like the previous one. Will I come in 4th again?
"See you in the finals."
I remembered my promise to Jag. And I felt my focus return. Pull long hard, don't give a damn about the other boats, this is our glide!
Then I felt myself pull away from Ngee Ann and uttered a soft "sorry." to him.
I charged forward to catch up with Choon Meng. He was trying to keep up with Jason. Last 100 metres! Start ending charge!
I sped up my cyclic speed again, but quickly lost power. Screaming in my head I attempted to start up again.
"Up the damn speed!"
And we surged forward. I caught up the distace somewhat. But the focus I lost earlier had widened the gap too much.
Still came in behind Choon meng and Jason.
So, I'll see them in the finals tomorrow. Along with Jag.
Sometimes I wonder how I can beat my opponents.
Jason's in his last year in NTU. He's got all the experience. Last year he came in first for his heats also. But 4th for the finals. This year he will be fighting to take that lost medal.
Jag's parents are divorced, but unlike alot of kids I know whos families suffer the same thing, Jag's chanelled his energy into running. From a fat kid to our school's top runner actually, perhaps our top canoeist as well if he beats me tomorrow.
And then look at me.
What have I got to win for?
Some lost pride for my team?
Or pride for myself?
Playing piano especially has taught me one thing.
You either get it on the spot.
Or you get it real quick.
Or you get it after a while.
Or you get it after practicing like hell.
Or you get it after practicing for years.
Perhaps I just want to get it.
But our event was next. And I made the call to carry on despite this fact.
I made a bad call.
I should have went to the beach to drain water and make the starter wait for us.
But would he wait?
Apparantly, yes, we had a nice starter today, and he would have.
I'm sorry, Sebas, it was my fault. We couldn't execute the pull with the additional weight in the boat.
Mixed feelings when we docked back to the pontoon.
Inside I know it was my fault for not making the call to drain water. But I also doubted his fighting spirit.
Nevertheless, I stroked Redwing, and told her that we will redeem ourselves.
I went early the next time to the start line. Everything was made perfect. I saw our competitors, a couple of first timers, the godly uni rowers in their last years. Talked to Jason abit. Asked him if he thought the NUS rower was fast. He gave an ambigous reply. "Respect to all opponents", he told me before we departed to our lanes.
We smiled back and forth, giving each other the thumbs up. We had everything and anything in common. Having trained, whether for the past few months, or for many many years, for this one race. Only the top 3 out of the 5 would make it to the finals tomorrow. We were the best of friends for those brief minutes, yet bitter rivals.
The call to start.
"Ready!"
All was calm, I had run this race both physically and in my head hundreds of times.
I looked at Redwing, and she smiled back at me.
The loud airhorn sounded as we charged to that one single line 500 metres away.
The start burst was good, yes, I could feel it.
Looking to the left side, Jason(NTU) and Choon Meng(NUS) seemed to be pulling away, Jason with his godly speed again. Even Jiaming(Ngee Ann) was slowly pulling away from me.
The water was choppy, direction was off! I was heading to the wrong lane! Swept to my right, and Redwind was on course again. I felt this race was going to be like the previous one. Will I come in 4th again?
"See you in the finals."
I remembered my promise to Jag. And I felt my focus return. Pull long hard, don't give a damn about the other boats, this is our glide!
Then I felt myself pull away from Ngee Ann and uttered a soft "sorry." to him.
I charged forward to catch up with Choon Meng. He was trying to keep up with Jason. Last 100 metres! Start ending charge!
I sped up my cyclic speed again, but quickly lost power. Screaming in my head I attempted to start up again.
"Up the damn speed!"
And we surged forward. I caught up the distace somewhat. But the focus I lost earlier had widened the gap too much.
Still came in behind Choon meng and Jason.
So, I'll see them in the finals tomorrow. Along with Jag.
Sometimes I wonder how I can beat my opponents.
Jason's in his last year in NTU. He's got all the experience. Last year he came in first for his heats also. But 4th for the finals. This year he will be fighting to take that lost medal.
Jag's parents are divorced, but unlike alot of kids I know whos families suffer the same thing, Jag's chanelled his energy into running. From a fat kid to our school's top runner actually, perhaps our top canoeist as well if he beats me tomorrow.
And then look at me.
What have I got to win for?
Some lost pride for my team?
Or pride for myself?
Playing piano especially has taught me one thing.
You either get it on the spot.
Or you get it real quick.
Or you get it after a while.
Or you get it after practicing like hell.
Or you get it after practicing for years.
Perhaps I just want to get it.
Thursday, March 11, 2004
Went to pace with Jag today.
My last rowing session before the race.
Tried the new stroke.
Its not too great, maybe I wasn't twisting enough.
But one thing is for sure, if I do that for the race day I'm going to be behind Jason, and Jag.
So I did something completely insane and upped my cyclic speed by 200% and heck cared about power. And guess what, ended up damn far ahead of Jag for the last 250m set.
But the thing is... although it seems to be super effective, I've never actually tried something like that in any simulation before.
So how? If I do what I normally do I can only hope to finish on par with jag. But if I do the insane stroke, theres a chance that I may speed far far away. But there is also a chance that I will bust and tire out due to the isnane cyclic speed for a 500m race.
Its a do or die situation.
Redwind says I should go for the insane stroke...
I may just do it.
A newbie shall defeat the top seeded rowers with hard work.
My last rowing session before the race.
Tried the new stroke.
Its not too great, maybe I wasn't twisting enough.
But one thing is for sure, if I do that for the race day I'm going to be behind Jason, and Jag.
So I did something completely insane and upped my cyclic speed by 200% and heck cared about power. And guess what, ended up damn far ahead of Jag for the last 250m set.
But the thing is... although it seems to be super effective, I've never actually tried something like that in any simulation before.
So how? If I do what I normally do I can only hope to finish on par with jag. But if I do the insane stroke, theres a chance that I may speed far far away. But there is also a chance that I will bust and tire out due to the isnane cyclic speed for a 500m race.
Its a do or die situation.
Redwind says I should go for the insane stroke...
I may just do it.
A newbie shall defeat the top seeded rowers with hard work.
Woke up at 6am today and couldn't go back to bed.
I keep seeing his boat infront of me, I feel myself pulling harder to catch up.
I need to beat him. Redwind, I don't know of our fate together after this race, lets make it our best. I promise I'll wash you nicely after every training.
Today is the training before the race on saturday. It will be the day I finalize my stroke with redwind.
"See you on saturday.", to you too, Jason.
I keep seeing his boat infront of me, I feel myself pulling harder to catch up.
I need to beat him. Redwind, I don't know of our fate together after this race, lets make it our best. I promise I'll wash you nicely after every training.
Today is the training before the race on saturday. It will be the day I finalize my stroke with redwind.
"See you on saturday.", to you too, Jason.
Wednesday, March 10, 2004
Shimona left for the states this morning.
Left me with 2 huge boxes of chewing gum.
Hmm... my jaw is going to be damn toned.
Went rowing today, tried a few variations of stroke... the leaning method is damn good for longdistance but uter crap for sprinting. I'll stick to yesterday's stroke.
Jag dropped out on one set, I won a set, lost a set. And that insanely fast NTU T1 rower talked to me.
I had just finished a 500m set with Sebas, then passed him. Then he called out my name. Which was quite freaky.
Softly at first, then a little louder when I turned. "Reuben right?" Then he grinned.
Haha that rascal. I then asked him back "Min kiat, right?" Then I grinned.
So we both have been studying the race program, and our opponents.
We then chatted a little in our T1s. He asked whats my motivation to join ccas. Apparantly in uni they do it so that they can "stay in house". It made a little sense at the time, but now that I think about it... What the heck does stay in house mean? Anyway I told him it was interest and, maybe bonus points for getting into uni later.
He then asked if we always train individually, since I seem to always join them for training. Haha, nice guy. He reminds me alot of Louis, apparantly he needs to wear specs but doesn't when he rows so he has to squint to talk to you, just like Louis. Worse part is similar orcish build and similar face structure...
Ahh so then I'm headed to bed. Damn tired.
Redwind, wait for me tomorrow....
Left me with 2 huge boxes of chewing gum.
Hmm... my jaw is going to be damn toned.
Went rowing today, tried a few variations of stroke... the leaning method is damn good for longdistance but uter crap for sprinting. I'll stick to yesterday's stroke.
Jag dropped out on one set, I won a set, lost a set. And that insanely fast NTU T1 rower talked to me.
I had just finished a 500m set with Sebas, then passed him. Then he called out my name. Which was quite freaky.
Softly at first, then a little louder when I turned. "Reuben right?" Then he grinned.
Haha that rascal. I then asked him back "Min kiat, right?" Then I grinned.
So we both have been studying the race program, and our opponents.
We then chatted a little in our T1s. He asked whats my motivation to join ccas. Apparantly in uni they do it so that they can "stay in house". It made a little sense at the time, but now that I think about it... What the heck does stay in house mean? Anyway I told him it was interest and, maybe bonus points for getting into uni later.
He then asked if we always train individually, since I seem to always join them for training. Haha, nice guy. He reminds me alot of Louis, apparantly he needs to wear specs but doesn't when he rows so he has to squint to talk to you, just like Louis. Worse part is similar orcish build and similar face structure...
Ahh so then I'm headed to bed. Damn tired.
Redwind, wait for me tomorrow....
Monday, March 08, 2004
And so I wondered the streets of orchard road, the cooling rain patting against my pitch black umbrella as I went around asking where Borders was. Felt like I was in the amazing race again, not hesitating to ask around for directions. Got pointed back and forth and made my way to Mos burger where I saw him, that expecting look.
It was then when he briefed me on the project.
On the programmers side, we've got geniuses who've got accolades at E3, and are geniouses in their field. Manipulating lines of code was as easy as spark does it on the matrix.
On the artists side, we've got prodigies who've had their art featured on big art magazines like Expose, brilliant concept artists, and awesome 3d modellers.
He calls them the league of extraordinary gentlemen. All of them are famous in each of their field - except me, but he said I was just as good.
Maybe I'm still in denial, or the shock hasn't overwhelmed me yet. But this is to be the first single player game to be released worldwide - and I am to be the sole man behind the music.
And getting paid so much for a song... it may be little or alot in the industry, but to do something I love so much and get paid for it is just a bonus.
This is cool XD
It was then when he briefed me on the project.
On the programmers side, we've got geniuses who've got accolades at E3, and are geniouses in their field. Manipulating lines of code was as easy as spark does it on the matrix.
On the artists side, we've got prodigies who've had their art featured on big art magazines like Expose, brilliant concept artists, and awesome 3d modellers.
He calls them the league of extraordinary gentlemen. All of them are famous in each of their field - except me, but he said I was just as good.
Maybe I'm still in denial, or the shock hasn't overwhelmed me yet. But this is to be the first single player game to be released worldwide - and I am to be the sole man behind the music.
And getting paid so much for a song... it may be little or alot in the industry, but to do something I love so much and get paid for it is just a bonus.
This is cool XD
Sunday, March 07, 2004
I found the stroke.
At last.
At long long last, I found it again.
Now all I can hope for is that I can keep on remembering it till this weekend. Went pacing with the godly team again on saturday. Can catch up with their 2 T1s now, but this guy... who came from who knows where.... he was 4 boat lengths infront of all of us for 2-3 sets.
wtf?
Super strong... I think I've witnessed a national rower's full speed.
I MUST BEAT HIM.
Woke up late today, so our ultimate frisby thing was cancelled partially due to me. Well alot of guys were late or weren't going according to Jeremy. Sad.
So I went rowing today again. Stroke getting better.
I think I should give B6 a nicer name. She's been so nice to me nowadays. AkaKaze - the red wind which will help us fly to victory. Yeah, that's a nice name. I must make a deal with her. If she helps me move faster in the water and go straight, then I'll help her feel a speed that she's never felt before.
6 more days till the race... fight on.
At last.
At long long last, I found it again.
Now all I can hope for is that I can keep on remembering it till this weekend. Went pacing with the godly team again on saturday. Can catch up with their 2 T1s now, but this guy... who came from who knows where.... he was 4 boat lengths infront of all of us for 2-3 sets.
wtf?
Super strong... I think I've witnessed a national rower's full speed.
I MUST BEAT HIM.
Woke up late today, so our ultimate frisby thing was cancelled partially due to me. Well alot of guys were late or weren't going according to Jeremy. Sad.
So I went rowing today again. Stroke getting better.
I think I should give B6 a nicer name. She's been so nice to me nowadays. AkaKaze - the red wind which will help us fly to victory. Yeah, that's a nice name. I must make a deal with her. If she helps me move faster in the water and go straight, then I'll help her feel a speed that she's never felt before.
6 more days till the race... fight on.
Thursday, March 04, 2004
So today during training, Sensei tells me that my stroke and form for my long distance is much better than when I sprint.
"During sprinting you get so tensed up, you want to go faster than you concentrate too much on something, either twisting or etc."
So fact is, during sprinting I get too stressed out that my form cocks up.
How screwed up is that?!
When you find out that trying so hard is actually worse than your 80%.
But then when I think about it...
Its quite true. When playing basketball you can't tense up too much or your shot will miss. You have to go with the groove, feel it, be calm and execute. Not like rugby when you require a certain amount of wildness. You can't go wild in canoeing... too much to keep track off. Your lanes, the current, your twisting, the pull, the catch, your opponents...
Then I remember Ben's IPS theory.
I have been sprinting out of my ideal range... not enough calmness.
So there it is. No more mindless effort.
I shall be one with the force once more...
"During sprinting you get so tensed up, you want to go faster than you concentrate too much on something, either twisting or etc."
So fact is, during sprinting I get too stressed out that my form cocks up.
How screwed up is that?!
When you find out that trying so hard is actually worse than your 80%.
But then when I think about it...
Its quite true. When playing basketball you can't tense up too much or your shot will miss. You have to go with the groove, feel it, be calm and execute. Not like rugby when you require a certain amount of wildness. You can't go wild in canoeing... too much to keep track off. Your lanes, the current, your twisting, the pull, the catch, your opponents...
Then I remember Ben's IPS theory.
I have been sprinting out of my ideal range... not enough calmness.
So there it is. No more mindless effort.
I shall be one with the force once more...
Went pacing with NTU on tuesday. Had a good set, came in kissing the rear of their second fastest T1. Then went down to row with Jag yesterday and did terribly. No concentration at all, and I let the fatigues of the day before's rowing and pullups affect me. 5, 10, 3, 3 seconds behind him. I'm screwed. I need to find my concentration again, then I'll beat him, just like last time, and maybe, beat NTU too.
Terrible performance yesterday. Then went to school for land training and died during circuits. Anthony told me the race program was out, but was paiseh to ask the hwachong coach to take a look, so called Yiwen instead.
I'm in lane 4 for the ivp t1-500metres race. And they misspelled my name so my competitors shall know me as Reuben Lee now...
Scared... what if I can't find my concentration? What if I lose to NTU, or Jag in the finals if I even qualify? What if even after training 9 times a week I still can't clinch a medal? I'm screwed. Talked to Oliver on the way to training yesterday, and we talked about concentration and flexibility. His race psyche is pretty good, I think I'll use it.
I must take a nap in the afternoon and rest up well, then go and beat NTU later today.
Terrible performance yesterday. Then went to school for land training and died during circuits. Anthony told me the race program was out, but was paiseh to ask the hwachong coach to take a look, so called Yiwen instead.
I'm in lane 4 for the ivp t1-500metres race. And they misspelled my name so my competitors shall know me as Reuben Lee now...
Scared... what if I can't find my concentration? What if I lose to NTU, or Jag in the finals if I even qualify? What if even after training 9 times a week I still can't clinch a medal? I'm screwed. Talked to Oliver on the way to training yesterday, and we talked about concentration and flexibility. His race psyche is pretty good, I think I'll use it.
I must take a nap in the afternoon and rest up well, then go and beat NTU later today.
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