I don't care what anyone else says....

Final fantasy 7: Advent Children is the most awesome movie I've seen in my life.

Maybe besides starwars which I watched over and over as a kid.

But seriously... omg wtf. Cloud is so cool... and Tifa is so chio... and Barret is so scary... and Vincent is so dao... and Yuffie is so adorable... and Cid is so wacky... and Nanaki furry... and Aeris is so no dead. Haha.

And there's this cute puppy that hangs around the main gate at camp. Omg I just had to go and di siao it before I left for training this afternoon. Ahhhh I must look for it tomorrow.

Thus endeth the week of centralized training.

Dissapointed by the news, but I'm determined to make sure nothing like that happens again. The knee is much better now, I can finally get serious about working on my weak points again.

Anyway, I ache everywhere. Rowing everyday with nteam plus safsa training is no joke haha I wonder how much I rowed this week...

Sat: 10+12+
Sun: break
Mon: 12+
Tues: 12 + 10+
Wed: 10
Thurs: 12+10+
Fri: 12+

Total: 100+km.... roughly.

If I focused it in one direction I would probably be somewhere far away be now? hahaha.

I'm just so relieved to have more free time to myself at last.

Jcats exercise yesterday. Was very interesting.

Helped the commanders with the application. One of them.. Mortar OC was having alot of fun from the exercise. Kept talking to himself and making funny comments like "behold the wrath of the heavens" and "lets rock!" Haha. Then some enemy scout apparantly took out his entire company and another by just lying in a pile of bodies and avoided being spotted as he slowly took his time sniping them down one by one. Talk about cheap.

Then after we magically resurrected his artillary his area of fire accidentally nailed some allies troops then we heard from across the room "walau... You're better off dead la!" Haha.

But the real eye-opener was the after action review. When the Colonel talked about fighting spirit and morale of the commanders and men, I was so drawn into it. Whenever you go into battle you must go in with the expectation to win, or don't go in at all. Once you let yourself get into the mindset that you've lost, then you're in dangerous territory.

Morale must be efforted to be kept high, because as a leader, your men will reflect your own morale. And if they are low they will give so much less for the battle.

I couldn't help but realize how much his words reflected my views on dragonboating. And I realized then oc was right when he said I would be missing out on so much to learn.

But it seems I may be able to learn some in the end.

Went camp for awhile today. Visit by some thai general. They didn't eat the food so we had a nice feast after they left. After which I booked out for safsa training but droped by lot 1's top floor korean food stall for their DAMN NICE korean chicken bbq set. But it was kinda oily... doh.

Training with the team. They suprise me. Maybe Melvin's doing something right, seeing how they cope with the trainings, there may be some hope for this regetta after all.

Being front pacer is kinda irritating sometimes when I wanna enter the damned water but the up-splash from the front of the boat collides with my paddle.

Anyway, rushed home for 2 hours of peace before I need to rush down again in 5 minutes time to kallang for nteam training, which will finish at 10pm, then by the time I'm home I gotta eat, washup and sleep asap, probaly at 11 plus, to grab 5-6 hours of sleep and wake up at 5am tomorrow to head to camp. Blargh.

Just one week, Reu. One week rowing so often I can close my eyes and hard 10, of not enough sleep, or falling asleep on the bus, the train, the office, of pulling myself away from that drifting off state so I won't miss my stop.

Sad, told Andy the reason why I missed training last week and his reply was "who doesn't have enough sleep?". Does everyone else in the team have to wake up at 5am everyday too? I don't think so lei. Haiz... miscommunication I think. "What if you're selected to go for sea games?"

I don't know anymore. Its too hard. they're too good. I may not be able to get into the top 7 right rowers in the team to fly away. But I can't let that stop me from giving it my all.

I didn't join the nteam just for bloody sea games, afterall.

Music is my only solace right now when I'm home. Breath of fire 4 soundtrack is awesome.

I don't follow my own advice.

And now I'm being stretched and torn around.

Need to find my balance asap.

The scouts went home to play dota for their nights out, so met them online today.

Really miss them. Talking about crazy happenings in camp, complaining together about our sad fate in recon. Basic survival skills sounds so fun. Although I don't think I'd be very happy about ripping the head of a poor cute bird then skinning it... or swining a chicken around by its neck, or holding a komodo dragon by its tail and... well you get the picture. But, you gotta eat, eh?

I miss sitting on my pathetic thin mattress'd bed, trying to forget about the heat and stickiness while reading my book and zoning out to my mp3 player. I miss my rusty dusty locker, where I stuffed all my worn and new uniforms and pt kits. I miss doing stupid jobs like bangla work and pt together with the platoon, and I miss Lt Enriquez. He was probably the nicest PC I've had.

Its so stupid, but back in those days I was thinking of getting out of there to my better life with safsa, and maybe doing games design. Who would've thought I'd be doing both now.

Life is weird. Treasure every moment.