Finding it difficult to talk much about work nowadays. Probably because it it sounds like I'm boasting. Then again most of my life or past would sound impressive hence, sounds like boasting again.

Some people will be inspired by those who dare to pursue their dreams, others despise them. That's the one mistake Joseph made.

Envy and jealousy lead to hatred and contempt.

And those who have difficulty grasping or understanding will be under a significant amount of stress to compete. I don't mind inspiring or triggering positive competition, but I do not wish to stress out those whom cannot take it positively.

Chua was right when He said that I would be outstanding if I follow my own path. Following the same path as everyone else proved to be not much of a challenge. But what he didn't know was that I would be in a league of my own.

But it never was about competition for me. Perhaps thats what some of them fail to see.

It was always about chasing that big dream.

Just touching the tip of it right now feels so good.



Race day on Sat. Our 10 men crew is the highest tier as we'll ever get. Full n t eam crew plus one mr world lol. Its only up to the canoeists to stop us.

Rehearsals are fun.

Dropped by to see some of the scenes to do the backing track to, and felt like staying longer haha.

Its interesting to see people whom you usually see on tv.... more interesting to work with them.

I still can't get used to having people whom I don't know know me.

En Lai is damn funny.


Record number of turn up at extra gym training today. More than yesterday. KJ, AL, WK, WH, IS, SH.

The team is finally falling into place :)

How lucky would a sportsman be to have a coach want him to play for his team. More so a coach who has been very successful in the sport for years.

Its the third time He's asked. Reminds me of the time JW grabbed me at the canteen and asked me back to the team.

They are finally almost up to mark. Perhaps we can achieve something after all?



Getting tired of fighting on my own again. At times I felt as though the team was the only thing keeping me from returning to my old self. Forget disappointment, there are always those who are there fighting on, who face the same disappointment that you have. Brothers who are closer than family.

Speaking of which, the dwarf is back from the UK. Gyming with him has been quite scary because... he seems to have slackened alot, but even more scary because just one more day of training makes him so much stronger.... his ability to adapt and re-condition at such a rate has always amazed me.

But with the regaining of a lost friend comes the loss of another.

Though I feel the loss, I'm all too familiar with someone running off with his own track in life. JD, Louie, Stephen... I can only hope that the path they choose to venture on their own is a fulfilling one, and perhaps hopefully one day our paths will cross again.



There's a new addition to my family though. Went with JJ to pick her up yesterday. She was huge as hell and mom sure was shocked to see her.

But she plays so well with my com, and thank god I bought the new graphics card with component video out, which is better than composite video and xvga... so now she reflects my computer monitor at a whopping 1920 X 1080 Hi definition dvd quality resolution.

I finally have duo screen vision, with one of them being insanely big. PS3 looks orgasmic and... JJ and I played resistance on HARD mode.

CS pros really are scary things. We hardly died at all. I think he adapts faster than me to the controls which is quite depressing, but good because he was on the same team.



Its hard to force myself to sleep now because theres a super HUGE PIECE of temptation staring me in the face.

I swear... Kapilands is the GAYEST name a game can be named.

Bishan running club run tonight....

With... NYP poster boy Dam and SJI poster boy to be Crazy Sam.

And we did a new record.... altogether too. Awesome. Usual timing 21-22mins for the sin ming route... tonight we did it in 18:50mins.

But I get the feeling that it was because the traffic lights were mainly green for us -_-;

Nevertheless it was an awesome run.

Its hard running with a handicap... but you gotta just trust that you will benefit and improve more in certain aspects.

Like today, the constant ratio no matter what... left me almost suffocating for air.

But I remember Tim, and want to push as hard as him. Which is ironic because for long runs like these we try to stick together and wait for each other every now and then, then push together.

Its the teamwork that makes it more fun.

Walking back talking about school and stuff... nowadays if you get 10-11 points you may not even get into your selected course in poly. Poly is slowly not becoming just the place you go to if you can't get into JC.

It seems the world is lagging behind me. Hahaha.


Erm... Dam and Sam look... quite alike.

Training today with the remainder of the team that didn't go to macau.

Really shocked at the lack of fitness of some of the ord'rs... lack of water training really shows.

Kai is still... quite imba tho. He managed to last the pullups... whoa. Its also nice to see that he still cares so much about the team.

I kinda relate to how Sherwyn relates to his Dad a little. The resentment in particular, but I can also appreciate all that he's doing. I don't quite understand why people talk about their "friend's dad"s as if its an actual connection that they would actually ask anything of. Somehow it always sounds childish no matter how its put across. But I suppose its always fun to boast. even if its nothing of theirs to boast about.

Maybe I've too many friend's dads in high places and have pretty much experienced all the weird parties and accommodations already... and have seen how such reliances affect the children of such people.

Met with Hong to finally catch Pirates 3 at long last after we rescheduled like 999 times and the show is almost not going to be shown at any cinema. A little hard trying to understand what the hell is going on when you didn't watch the previous 2 pirates movies... But Hans Zimmer is a genius. The score is captivating and deep. Sometimes I wonder how long it will take me to do better than these people.

Hans Zimmers, John Williams, Harry Gregson Williams, Nobuo Uematsu.... One day I'll be up there with them.

Dropped by amkhub to see Adrian... the ultimate gamer. Boasting about how he's the first in Singapore to play the new Ninja Gaiden because he personally went down to collect the stock then ran home to play it. Hahhaa. I can see why he loves his job so much. And... Gaiden was sold out. Godamnit.


Being around Hong is always nostalgic. I remember running behind him in school trying to catch up.

Sometimes, its never about overtaking someone. Just being beside him for the ordeal gives a satisfaction beyond winning any cocky bastard. Its the same for CX.

I wish that skill he has with people was mine.

Another thing to work on, I guess.


Big meeting tomorrow. The biggest project I'll take on yet. Kinda excited, but... nothing beats games. I dunno... music for entertainment is fun, but music for games is just so much deeper.

Was reading my posts of long long ago.

I can't believe I actually aimed for 35km for canoeing training back then. 20km was like the minimum.

How I had to wake up at 7am on both weekends to go to kallang to row, but how it was all worth it because canoeing was so damn fun. I remember how I wanted to beat everyone in the team one by one... I had a accessed all their performance and skill levels and climbed up the ranking one by one. I remember eventually trying like hell to beat coach. I remember joining other schools for training when I was the only one who went down for water training during weekdays. HCJC, NJC, ACJC, NYJC, NTU, NUS, I studied all of their training programs one by one, land and water alike.

The races, the excitement, the hope, disappointment and satisfaction.

The frustration in the water, and the peace that I found through it.

I look at all the other Design students in my cohort who didn't take any CCAs because they were too swamped with the heavy workload and assignments and presentations and I kinda feel sorry for them. I learned so much through my ccas. You just have to go out and do some things sometimes. Dare to raise yourself to that level and put yourself on the spot.

That was when I realized that I wouldn't be satisfied just succeeding academically, or physically or even competitively. There were so many other levels to scale, so many perspectives to see through.



Oh shit.

I think I'm sick.
hahaha.

Slept at 4... Woke up at 6 cause the aircon broke down... godamn hot... fell asleep at 7, woke up every now and then until 10.

So yeah, I rock today.

Play! Concert tonight... don't even feel like going for that. Just want to sleep... or kill something.

Rainy mornings are so good to sleep in.

Gymed with Ced in the aft. The new shoulder routine isn't tough at all on paper. But upon execution it really is killer hahaha. I never felt my side delts hurt like that in a very long time...

Rushed down to town after that to meet WC, CH, Howe and Dog for shopping and Fantastic 4!

Bird shop rocks la... finally got XXL.

Then we ate ate Sakura near Somerset which was.... not as good as last time. Standard was really good when it first came out, but seems like its been dropping since. Nevertheless that was a good dinner.

Been thinking about what Ced said. So true, though we come from quite different backgrounds.

Though one day when he finally shines at the top at their game, maybe he'll wonder what's next, and perhaps he'll see what I meant.


One step closer to that big dream. And perhaps accomplish a few cca objectives along the way, eh?

The trial in the coming week will decide.

Wahaa I never spent so much time sleeping before.

It feels so good to catch up on sleep in the day. Really. Geez.

Seriously damn good.

Extremely good.

Met Ling for Dinner at Wisma after a quick shopping run. FCUK is done with their Lesbian phase... let the world rejoice.

Ate at Ichiban Boshi... which totally rocks. Ling coaxed me to eat some weird octopus sushi. Wasn't that bad. But its still kinda sick.

Miss Ling is quite incredible. She's going Borneo again soon to snap up pictures of animals she missed. I kinda worry for her though. Her 8kg camera is 1/5 of her weight... and she goes into the wild taking pictures of wild animals. Crazy charboh. But she started her own company too and is a major share holder of another, works hard to further her career. Kinda pressuring being near to such a capable girl. Perhaps in the future she would be like Soo Ann or Irene of Fly Entertainment, being a mover in her industry.

People marvel at me doing what I love for a career, but She's been doing it before me.


Rushed down to gym after that with Cedric. Gyming with him the past few days reminds me of long ago. When we were still strangers at Bishan gym. I was doing my nteam otot training and he was plucking up the courage to ask me if I was in safsa because he wanted to join.

Rushed down to Cathay to meet the Recon guys and dota babes whom... had all their boyfriends along. Well if I were their boyfriends and my gf plays dota with a bunch of guys who ord'd... and I was still in NS... I'd be pretty worried too.

Anyway.

Very sad to say we lost to them. JM used a new hero and kept feeding. And the girls are no pushovers godamnit. Its sick.

But it was good to play with them... as in with them and not with them online. Gab's giggling when he kills someone... JM's scream of protest... Adam's kao pei at the team, and Des who just smiles shyly when he kills... and smiles shyly when he dies.

Hard to believe that we managed to find 12 seats at Headquarters so easily.



Self-declared holiday is proving to be a much needed period of re-energizing.

Stress test.

Sun night, mon night, tonight.

First time I tried 3 consecutive nights. V02 max training seems to be going somewhere, and I think I'm finally ready to take the forefoot strike technique to the next level, which is... the speed strike.

But right now all the wear has rendered me unable to walk properly due to my forefeet being very sore from tonight's run with crazy sam.

Talked a damn lot. Interesting guy. Haha. Saw a dead cat on the way back... the head... didn't look like a head.. it looked like some monster from the movie 'tremors'. Damn sick.




There's a peace and sincerity you get in a spar. When you spar, it doesn't matter who you are, what you did, where you study or what you do for a living. All the bullshit is of no concern, because you fight against the person's true self.

Everything is concealed yet open to be read. Every movement, every reaction, every affirmation. Is genuine, even if it is a feint. There are no hidden agendas or intentions. Unless you are an asshole Sy.

Probably why when people used to ask me about Si or An, I don't know much about what the heck they do. Because we don't really care. And quite frankly, given our screwed up past, we know how messed up things can get and its just better off left as it is.



I suppose there is a pain that never goes away.

One that surpasses any physical or emotional pain. One that lasts for what seems to be an eternity.




Until today my heart song is still one of hurt.

But its the hurt that makes you realize what is important in life.

Despite nothing new to the remixing world since forever... I still get emails everyday and I'm up to page 30 in google. Feel the love ^_^

Ninja gaiden is hard shit on hard difficulty.

Ran with Jn tonight. Quite a talkative guy haha. Turns out the western stall at ksl is open till like 1230... w00t.

Bishan running club is getting quite alot of new members lately. Yay.



I wish time would fast forward right now so that the awesome ps3 titles will be released.

Can't wait for:

Devil May Cry 4 - the series always rocked and the new char and gameplay looks awesome.

Haze - Reportedly better graphics than Resistance, and more interesting multiplayer support.

Assasin's Creed - Looks awesome and stabbing people from the darkness is always good fun.

Socom: Confrontation - Like Haze


And a couple of interesting titles like:

The Darkness - Kinda satanic but wth.

The Agency - MMORPG!


Ganbate to all the game dev companies.

Slept for 12 hours since last night to QUELL THE MONSTAH!!!

Today marks the firs day of my holiday. Taking a break from music to re energize and gather more cosmic power from the universe.

Ninja gaiden sigma is awesome shit. Spent a few hours playing today. Charboh ninjas are damn hot. Even hotter when they somersault over a monster while latching their blade across its neck, ripping it off upon landing. Sexy!

The dota msn group got hijacked by the girls today to my horror...

92;59cm,全長24cm
**Tinkerbel** says:
i tink Free size sia
~*FEJLB*~ >>>>> ·f0undeR☆ «´¨`•.¸¸*BadDies*.¸¸.•´¨`» says:
wa
**Tinkerbel** says:
CLosing To
**Tinkerbel** says:
TONITe*
~*FEJLB*~ >>>>> ·f0undeR☆ «´¨`•.¸¸*BadDies*.¸¸.•´¨`» says:
so big
**Tinkerbel** says:
LOL
~*FEJLB*~ >>>>> ·f0undeR☆ «´¨`•.¸¸*BadDies*.¸¸.•´¨`» says:
28
~*FEJLB*~ >>>>> ·f0undeR☆ «´¨`•.¸¸*BadDies*.¸¸.•´¨`» says:
oh can can
~*FEJLB*~ >>>>> ·f0undeR☆ «´¨`•.¸¸*BadDies*.¸¸.•´¨`» says:
weay at hip
~*FEJLB*~ >>>>> ·f0undeR☆ «´¨`•.¸¸*BadDies*.¸¸.•´¨`» says:
;
~*FEJLB*~ >>>>> ·f0undeR☆ «´¨`•.¸¸*BadDies*.¸¸.•´¨`» says:
wear*
~*FEJLB*~ >>>>> ·f0undeR☆ «´¨`•.¸¸*BadDies*.¸¸.•´¨`» says:
u tink nice ma?
**Tinkerbel** says:
yea nicE
**Tinkerbel** says:
I dun have LOng Legs
**Tinkerbel** says:
T.T
**Tinkerbel** says:
CANNOt wear
~*FEJLB*~ >>>>> ·f0undeR☆ «´¨`•.¸¸*BadDies*.¸¸.•´¨`» says:
duh
~*FEJLB*~ >>>>> ·f0undeR☆ «´¨`•.¸¸*BadDies*.¸¸.•´¨`» says:
noo
~*FEJLB*~ >>>>> ·f0undeR☆ «´¨`•.¸¸*BadDies*.¸¸.•´¨`» says:
can de
~*FEJLB*~ >>>>> ·f0undeR☆ «´¨`•.¸¸*BadDies*.¸¸.•´¨`» says:
mini skirt will make legs look longer
~*FEJLB*~ >>>>> ·f0undeR☆ «´¨`•.¸¸*BadDies*.¸¸.•´¨`» says:
haha
~*FEJLB*~ >>>>> ·f0undeR☆ «´¨`•.¸¸*BadDies*.¸¸.•´¨`» says:
so can wear
**Tinkerbel** says:
ZZZ
**Tinkerbel** says:
CANNOt la
~*FEJLB*~ >>>>> ·f0undeR☆ «´¨`•.¸¸*BadDies*.¸¸.•´¨`» says:
reali
**Tinkerbel** says:
Will very chou!
**Tinkerbel** says:
LOL!
~*FEJLB*~ >>>>> ·f0undeR☆ «´¨`•.¸¸*BadDies*.¸¸.•´¨`» says:
aiyo
~*FEJLB*~ >>>>> ·f0undeR☆ «´¨`•.¸¸*BadDies*.¸¸.•´¨`» says:
muz hav confidence
~*FEJLB*~ >>>>> ·f0undeR☆ «´¨`•.¸¸*BadDies*.¸¸.•´¨`» says:
confidence den will look chio le
~*FEJLB*~ >>>>> ·f0undeR☆ «´¨`•.¸¸*BadDies*.¸¸.•´¨`» says:

Online shopping is quite scary.

They've been at it for the past 30 mins.

I'm proud of the guys. In a way it was s good move to push the guys to nt eam. Now they are representing the nation and are almost on par with myself.

Been thinking hard about the team and all. Perhaps I need to stop running away.

Perhaps when they are back from Macau I will be able to join them.

1 more song to go.


Woot!

still rem safsa that time..
'oUr hEarTs, OuR hOpeS, oUr aiMs R OnE~ says:
when u were new..
Reu says:
...........
'oUr hEarTs, OuR hOpeS, oUr aiMs R OnE~ says:
then u walk wif airs
Reu says:
lol
Reu says:
I did not walk wif airs la!
'oUr hEarTs, OuR hOpeS, oUr aiMs R OnE~ says:
lol.
'oUr hEarTs, OuR hOpeS, oUr aiMs R OnE~ says:
but got that kind of proud feelin la.
'oUr hEarTs, OuR hOpeS, oUr aiMs R OnE~ says:
we waited for u durin one of the weekdays...
'oUr hEarTs, OuR hOpeS, oUr aiMs R OnE~ says:
but i know u r not in control of that
'oUr hEarTs, OuR hOpeS, oUr aiMs R OnE~ says:
so i forgive u
Reu says:
.....
Reu says:
when I was late I ran in loh
'oUr hEarTs, OuR hOpeS, oUr aiMs R OnE~ says:
haha
Reu says:
I not super star
'oUr hEarTs, OuR hOpeS, oUr aiMs R OnE~ says:
ok gd..
'oUr hEarTs, OuR hOpeS, oUr aiMs R OnE~ says:
i know u ran.


Networking.

Some people used to tell me that you have to do it through friends first, then know your friends' friends. Then the contacts will spread and you will have more lobang.

This works out to a nominal degree.

However, I've found that on a professional level, there is a very unique short cut that works much better.

Of course it doesn't apply to everyone, though.

First there is that one critical secret step.

Then all you have to do is but flash your presence once.

And they will come to you one by one.


Even in the degree of networking have I gone off-tangent and created my own strategies.

Thinking out of the box is fun.

I can't wait for the next phase.

Nowadays there seems to be too much to log down, and when I actually get around to try to log them down, I forget a whole bunch of it.

Also doesn't help that I'm about to fall asleep any minute.

New dota out... all the guys are damn excited... including me haha. Nerds, yeah I know, its just that the new tag team combo possibilities are damn fun.

Rowing in the morning. Remembered what old school rowing is, pacing with Zhili. 1:1 ratio, best ratio for race set was 1:3. Overseas teams doing 1:5 or 1:6 la... gg.

Managed to row on my left side. It was always my stronger side, and the only side that I can use the A drop burst stroke on. Used it for one of the last charges, the power is incredible.

PDL module for the team seems to be working out. Army really makes you dumb and screws up what it means to lead. Its scary because its something that you really have to put into practice to stay sharp at, just like gym or pullups. You will be able to still do alot, but it will not be as much as before.

Jiaji's got a very interesting business proposal. Tho I'm still not very sure if its safe, because there hasn't been enough testing done, I'm glad to see him have a passion for something.

.... but what the heck is it with people having a passion for money.

Ugh I so don't want to go into that today.

I have composer's block.

Its damn challenging when I do get this, but its like the perfect excuse to go play dota and watch anime.

I now know why I became so blunt in thinking and methods.

Yet now I'm not sure if it was such a good thing to remember so much again.

For good, use it for good.

So the singular system wasn't suitable for them after all.

They still have too much to learn.

SSC council system works much better in this situation after all, and its the most fun too.

This way I can focus on bringing up more of them at the same time through their strengths and eventually find a better combination.

One is showing quite a high level of intuition. So high that there's only been another one of at this level in the past few years.

Only time will tell which one will be able to use his strength to arrowhead his development and pull his weaknesses up.

Ahhh now I remember how damn fun it is to perform infront of a live audience.

Gab, CZ, TK, Nic, Wil, JM took time off from dota to come and watch, which is great cause of celebration for mankind.

Charlizard, Alv and May came down too.

Despite the obvious travesty of judging, I'm satisfied just having performed my best.

Tonight will be used to catch up on much needed sleep.