Back to normal today. Thank god.

To think that I almost begin plans to utterly destroy him just because I suspected where his priorities lay.

Time trial today. Wish I could base any sort of standard from the timings, but mr current had to come and screw everything up! Good job!

I thought that my detail had some average competition. One ex nyp school rower for 3 years, another very medalled njc canoeist. But alas, I had to wait for them in the middle to see if they were still around.

The current plan seems to be working.


Anyway, was asked what I think about some girls.

I'm always very cautious about any sort of judgement of character, because I usually get the info from a very cynical and piercing side.

But since we're on the path of trying to understand that side, heck.

We all have certain walls of morals and beliefs of what is right and what is wrong. Things in our gut, to tell us what is the right thing to do.

But in life, depending on your interest, you can break down these walls.

Some people break walls to allow them to have more "fun", more excitement.

Some people break walls to give them more "power", more competitiveness.

And when these walls are down, you cannot feel the consequences of your actions. Until one day, its too late. It may take hurting one person, or many people. But I believe that eventually, that person will awaken, because she will never find true happiness.

When you get tired of the shallowness and facade of everything, you will start to question where the deeper things were. It is then we realize our mistakes.

And just like I was disgusted with what I have become in the past, I believe that she may one day realize and become disgusted with what she has allowed herself to become.

When that day happens, then she would be more ideal for him. The process of finding these truths in life is painful, but its a journey that everyone has to make. Because no great lesson is learnt easily. Its through pain, that we learn. Because the blade always looks nice until you cut yourself.

But I believe that ultimately, one should restore his morals as much as possible. Because you can break them down to get you where you want to be... but what goes around comes around.

It reminds me of a certain colonel whom is immensely smart and well achieved, yet everyone hates working under him. People quit working under him, and those who have to stay detest his leadership. You can see it everywhere. Not just in his subordinates, but his colleagues and peers.

At the end of the day, there are two routes to the same destination.

On one you can make enemies everywhere, have people think badly of you and hate you. You can be good at maintaining all your precious facades. But they are just facades.

On the other you can have inspired and motivated people, and helped more along the way. You can have genuine relationships, and people that you can really trust.