Was nice to see some of the ord'rs back for training today.

Also nice to see Den and JW.

When I see Den, I remember that my tag is still with him. I remember what kind of person I wanted to be before enlisting. The fear of becoming who I was in the past. I hated that cynical lonely bastard who would do anything to be at the top.

I remember that strength was something that could come from elsewhere, not only from the desire to be the best.

Most people think that it can only come from wanting to be the best, where the opposite would be complacency, but when I was with them, everything was so different.

I wanted to be strong for them. The pillar of support, instead of the usual arrow head.

I also remember how distant I am from my siblings.

Its a sick feeling, being so near yet so far at times.

It sucks when you childishly think that your Bro would be your best friend for forever. Until things change so much. And it hurts less to just keep away.

We did have some good fights though, one broken front tooth broken twice can attest to that.

And I didn't even go for Sis' wedding. Not that I disprove. Am I happy for her? Its the right thing to feel, I guess. But I can't because that would mean I admit to letting her go.

I am an unfeeling bastard after all.

Maybe that's why I loved the school team so much. It made me into another person. Someone that I liked much better. Someone who was strong yet not selfish and could depend on real brothers in times of need.

That's why I believe so strongly in the team. It may be a huge pain in the ass sometimes, but when you find the right people, people you can trust and depend on, then everything is worth it. I wish that all the guys will be able to feel this.

Lunch with some of the guys. Alot of conflict with uncle. This is what he wanted, after all. For him to be that character and me the other. Its a nice change. Although he isn't doing it intentionally, its working out like that. lol.

Gymed with Week and Wert. Weekwert wertweek.... Week tried a front kick. Not bad for someone who just learnt from people. Omg that fag wert uses finger nails to fight! What a pansy!


The gay agent is being a pain in the ass again. I'm really so tired right now and more fed up with him. Sometimes I feel like using that intent on him. It would be too easy to send him to the next world without even so much as to break a sweat if I use it.