Its quite sad that up to right now, I'm still not sure which path to take for the next chapter.

NTU is really mother far. Though by then I should have bike and it shouldn't be too big of a problem. Design there would help me further contacts and develop my music. But, I could do the exact thing and get paid just freelancing.

SMU is nearer, and can go shop. Workload is retarded. But, project work, research, reports and presentations are a breeze thanks to poly, so that would give me a huge advantage over those silly jc students :p. And even among the poly students, I could accomplish in several hours what the rest spent days working on... cause you can think out of the box for work processes and pipelines too. DMD had one of the heaviest workloads in all the faculties, frickin 3 out of 450 students for my batch were active in ccas because the vast majority couldn't cope. I was one of the three. And the other two only juggled one cca when I did three. I don't think they were all dumb... because the average l1r5 for our batch was... 8-18 points? Okay, some quite jialat, but the better ones still didn't shine much. Louis was an RI GP 6 pointer, yet he frickin dropped out of the course due to workload.

So this should give me a substantial amount of bandwidth to go and play around with ccas - which would be about my main reason to go to uni XD. Sad right? hohoho.

Downside here is, the course will probably only be useful 10-20 years down the road, after I'm done setting up presence in the industry and then only will I be able to set up my own production company to expand my share of the income.

So what now?

At the end of sec four, after calculating the time and energy expenditure and output of the usual routes, and wondering if there was any meaning in life in them, I broke out of the conventional cycle.

Now it seems, I can find meaning in more than one option, which is the cause of this complacency.

Perhaps the main reason why I would want to go to uni, is to stay in contact with people and friends.

It will be the lonely path of the genius again, should I go full swing into freelancing. I don't want to be alone again.

Which is more important?

If I was my old cynical self, the answer would be easy.

There's always a trade-off, sacrifices to be made if you want to achieve great things. This is one lesson that I'm all too familiar with. Yet I've already sacrificed so much, I don't know if I can keep doing it.

Parents aren't much help. Mom has always had high expectations in everything I do which kinda made me rebel in the first place... for Dad its all money money money, which is logical and realistic, but I need something more meaningful.

Deep inside, I know that I already have the answer. But a part of me is working so hard to block it out.

Perhaps there will be another option. Go full swing into freelancing, and join the canoeing team that I swore to beat.

Can do music, and got team to train with.

Ahh but I need my stupid boat first!