You know how easy it is to stereotype warrants.

Especially when one bullies my colleagues, bears grudges, or tries to act "big". There are those who seem to be stuck in a certain military organization due to contract or are bitter because they cannot renew, and they show it to the world by trying to make life miserable for those under them as if it would make them feel better out of their poor inferiority complex.

But today I am reminded of a particular one who thinks out of the box. One who put himself as an example first in a light hearted manner. One who would go the extra mile to show everyone that there isn't always the textbook way to do things.



Its not like my term is ending too soon anyway, but I can't help but to wonder what I have accomplished and need to accomplish by the time I do leave.

I want to be able to say that I used this time to live out my dream in this sport, which was my goal from day one, I completed quite a few impressive projects to act to my portfolio for design which will be one of my contingency job paths, and also that I used my time arranging music there to be a critical stepping stone for the rest of my career.

Kinda different from the usual: I went to learn how to chiong in the jungle, or slack away in some chao keng vocation. Maybe you can learn some form of leadership skills in ocs, but its not like I lose out in that aspect either.

On enlistment day, I knew that these three unique options would be possible, I thought that it would be nice to accomplish one of them. But never realized that accomplishing all three would be possible in such short times.


And for the next chapter, though still blurry, I think I'm getting a stronger feeling as to which path I must take.

During secondary school I played their game, I worked my way up, down, around, and over the system. Until one day I asked "Why the hell is everyone playing this game?"

Everyone following blindly, as if it was natural to do so. Yet you can see those whose potential lies elsewhere, and those who are only good for that system.

I saw a danger. A generation which will be indoctrinated by the goals of the ministry to form a resource for the country. They who will become so constricted, that when they think that they think off on a tangent, its actually still within the system because their mindsets have already been so cleverly attuned.

Its sad to see those who haven't bothered to ask themselves who they really are until its too late, those who are struggling to find out who they are, but cannot. And those who think that they are on the path to self discovery, but actually are just following the plan.

Why resign yourself to just be a resource, if you can be happier and have so much more?

There are conventions which should be followed. Conventions of morals and ethics. But a convention over how one should learn and live his life, is something that I cannot accept.

And even if I haven't reached the successful end that I hope that I will, I will continue this journey. Previous simulations have turned out successful when I following my gut, not my head. And if this turns out some other way, I will get up and overcome. Because those who turn away at an obstacle will never know what lies beyond it.

My first mentor once told me: "As long as you follow someone, you will always be behind him." He who helped me move up from the neighbourhood school group, and up to ultimate nerdy gp group.

Why do we have the goals that we set in life?

Perhaps for those who grew up in an environment where that new shiney thing proved their status among their peers, money would be the means to acquire those things and gain acceptance.

For those who grew up lacking recognition, status and power would be the means to soothe their embarrasing past.

I know that at some point of time I cared alot about these things, but yet somewhere along the line, it was lost.

Has my past screwed me up until the point that my life goals would differ so greatly to the rest? Maybe its true that a near-death experience changes your outlook on life.

Every fight I went into with a stranger, I knew the possible outcome. And after coming so close to losing everything, you're forced to reevaluate everything.

That new handphone, bag, bike, blades, shirt, jeans, suddenly seemed so unimportant. And all those people who looked up to you, what would they think of you now?


It is probably because of this, that I can never expect anyone else to understand. They are lucky, I suppose, to be happy living in the system. Or am I the lucky one to realize what is going on and want something better?