Training today was -_-;

I'm trying every alternative but I'm starting to think that some things just can't be taught with a nice guy attitude.

Too much thinking and feeling until they've lost the ability to let loose. Balance has been shifted too much to the complacent side for some. You can't jump over the hedge by calculating and feeling. You need to go out there, feel the rush, then just godamn jump.

Yes it is important to feel, but when you let it be a barrier instead of a guide, you'll never break new grounds.

I hate it. I hated myself when I lead like that in the past, because its so similar to so many utter failure case studies in leadership.

For new fighters, fighting spirit can only be evoked to its full potential by facing off with an opponent possessing an aura capable of threatening him.

Problem is for those who have lost it for so long, rekindling it may not be possible. For those who have an insufficient capacity, they may get overwhelmed. Especially possible if I am the one being the catalyst. For those who lack focus, they may exert on the wrong things, the wrong people.

But what I fear most is if the fire gets too big, until that side takes over again. It took too long to cool down the last time. Had to control like hell to reach a proper place, but in the end that poor door had to be targetted.

I dare not teach them something that I myself can not control fully. One is already showing symptoms of similar adherence, but whether it is an affinity or not, is still not known. Luckily his inherent capacity is not as great, and in turn is more balanced.

Perhaps its too risky.





Gym today. Moose was doing the eyebrown exercises again.... dog was very tired.

Moose was showing off his highly-defensive boxing stance, whereby any punch could be guarded easily... supposedly.

Until I landed 4 pecks past his arms in less than one second.

Screwed la... last peck was right at that point. Luckily they were just pecks.

I feel sleeping sickness coming again. Argh......