Had a long talk with the moose just now.

Should I really be feeling sad?

It would be normal to, wouldn't it?

There are times when I know I should be sad, but what I feel instead is just numbness.

Then there are times that I should feel ok, but feel a lingering familiar feeling... is that it?

I try so hard to find this feeling, through the saddest melodies that can brush my heart, ever so slightly, but all I acquire is a sad journey, with no result.

Maybe the only way that I can cry is through the piano.


"Any feeling that pulls your attention away from the battle is an invitation for weakness to set in."

But by blocking out the weakness, isn't that the same as never overcoming it?

And now I have tuned out something that I may never find again.


He once asked me, "how much are you willing to give up to achieve your goal?".

I once thought that I knew the answer, perhaps out of desperation, and foolishness I I thought that I would give up everything.

But as I draw closer and closer to that goal, the total cost seems to be accumulating.