Where did the excitement of racing go to?

Guess I'm getting 'over-seasoned'. I was never one to get overly-jittery, but this level of numbness kinda sucks. Kinda difficult to pull myself away from the logical thing to do and follow my gut.

Results were as calculated again... despite the bloody variable. Even the sucky starts (why?! why?!).

The variable is really damn irritating, think I'll have to use a pos X trigger instead of a stateno trigger tomorrow.

Oh well, the best plan is a flexible one, with contingencies after all.

The stupid drug... seemed to amplify my godamn flu today la.


Saw the padawan today. Took the charm from him. I know he wishes I'd be around more often, but as long as I stayed there, he wouldn't have enough space to expand his wings.

It was the hardest lesson to learn. It may be nice to have them depend on you, but if they do too much, and you leave, then they're screwed. Dependancy is a weakness. And as much as it would boost your ego and make you feel more powerful, if you really give a damn about them, you won't screw them over like that. For me, you would be a much better leader if you would teach them how to survive. Teach them how to fish, right Ben? If you can do that, then screw the result, you've succeeded in deeper and more meaningful ways.

Thats why this system was formed. But right now, the future of this team looks to be even more challenged. Because unlike last time, the candidates are showing far less potential in a very critical area. Though that combination in the system just might work.



Tomorrow shall be interesting indeed.