Last night's run: 12:10mins for the usual route.

Legs were kinda sore from leg extensions that day, and squats the day before... seeing my timing for the small run was demoralizing, but pushing on in the end helped abit, I guess.

Training today, dog's finally got the hang of my power starts. Was on par with me for the last few sets when I removed by resistance. If I hadn't been using the resistance for the sets before that, I'm sure it would have made a difference, though perhaps not by very much. If he manages to keep so close to me for the starts and overcome that one weakness, he might actually beat me for a sprint set. I've created a monster >_<

Nitec kia capsizing all over the place... undercurrent very strong, despite the surface current seeming relatively calm. I realize my muscle memory is abit confused from changing paddles... now at certain angles when I pull with the bracsa IV, I have zero catch, when I used to have catch for the other paddles, resulting in me taking a dip into the water.

Interview in the afternoon went well. I realize I'm getting better and better at interviews... haha. That photoshoot was one of the best so far.

Cycled tonight... made it to serangoon gardens in like 15 mins... wow. To Zeenath/prata house in serangoon in 12 mins. Awesome la. But the slope climb before that is terrible. Got lost for awhile after that, but that was okay, because I still had plenty of energy and spirit and could have gone on forever! Hohohoho.

Cycling past serangoon reminded me of Den. Sometimes I wonder if he is regretting his decision to sign on with commandos. Though, as much as possible I would strongly encourage him not to even think about regret, and only make the best of it, because this is what he set out to do.

It will be a very tough test of character, which if anyone would pass, it would be him. He has the strongest heart in all that I have encountered. My only regret is not teaching him to be more... cunning. I should have lent him the book, and taught him the side of things that would make things work. But perhaps I felt that it would affect his innocence. He relies on conscience and his naivety, to have a clear mind to follow his heart. That's why it is so strong. To teach him otherwise would be to throw him completely off tangent, which would be too great a risk.

Just like dog requires a certain amount of lack of emotional awareness and logic, to function so passionately.

Even for nitec kia, the same is true in another way.

Ironically it is the lack of something critical which allows for them to be strong in something else. Their strength is based on their weakness, just as in any balance, something must move drastically out of sync into chaos, for the forces of order to strengthen.

Somehow, I admire their weaknesses. Though I could never be like them, because I would sub-consciously never allow myself to have the same weakness as whoever I have come across. What would it be like to have such a strong heart? What would it be like to burn with fire for a goal?

I look at my strengths, and wonder, what are weaknesses spawned these strengths?

Truly it must not be possible for there to be any strengths without weaknesses, there must be both, as is the law of all things in balance.

Through my music, I can feel emotions that I have shut off for years. Feelings that as much as I want to feel, I can no longer. Even negative emotions make one feel alive. Perhaps that is what it is.

When I run with Nitec kia, I dare not push too hard, I dare not commit, because I know that if I get too competitive, a side of me will return that I hate.

I wish that I could give my all for a set emotionally and psychologically like dog, but if I did, and let myself function based on adrenaline and passion, there's no telling what I might do.

I have the weirdest weaknesses, I suppose. Comparable to that of an insane person? I have almost killed people, and shut off myself from the world. Pretty extreme, I suppose.

If weaknesses produce strengths, then the greatest, and most extreme weaknesses, produce the more awesome strengths.

Beethovan was deaf, each person who made a big difference in the world had a big weakness, but they built their strengths so high on them, that they shook history.

I've been called a genius, people say I'm talented, amazing, awesome, but they have no idea how much work I have had to put in.

Is anyone truly born a genius? If so, I pity them. Because being brought into the world with such a strong strength, will only mean that they will develop a strong weakness, instead of the other way around.


When will I make my mark in history?