Been thinking about what the future holds for me.

Already, I seem to be moving up so fast, almost too fast.

Not sure if its preparation for the performance tomorrow night, but I've found myself going back to that insanely meticulous way of thinking.

To see things so clearly is truly a scary thing. Yet it is in this state that I can go out and play the most perfect performance.

It was in this state that I made some of the best decisions in my life.

I was listening to Ced, Nitec and Howe's conversation about studies and work, and I heard them talking about all the wrong incentives regarding their future paths.

Its sad that they will follow their friends to their meaningless jobs, planned carefully by the government. Human resources serving the purpose of the country's financial growth to survive. And once that need and senseless direction is no more, they do not know what direction in life to take.

Some people think that by making meaningless amounts of money they can console themselves for the meaningless day to day activities and years of their lives that they have lost.

Life is too short to waste on bullshit that people tell you to do.

But I also realize that it is not possible to expect them to see things as I do.

Unless you have stared death in the eye and have it take away something from you, you will never understand some things.

Nitec made a funny joke today that not everyone fuck care's the future like me.

But in fact, it is the total opposite.

It is them who have gone about the completely wrong way of thinking of things. Yet I have been planning my breakaway years ago, when they never even thought about what they want to do when the time to school is over.

Perhaps the only person that would understand me would be Louis. Unless you throw your 6 points away and actually have the balls to question what exactly will give you meaning and fulfillment in life, you will never find it. Unlike those who let their "achievements" be the limiting factors to their life. This is the greatest illusion that the brainless "geniuses" fall victim to. Completely oblivious to the truth.

And he is flying off soon to pursue that grand dream in the bigger ocean.

I will prove to him that it is possible to get it here.

Louis, we will see who gets it first.




Years from now, every score that I make will be a legend. My favorite past time coincidentally brings in the money, which I won't have to worry about in the first place. I will work on projects because of the challenge and love of music, and nothing else, because there would be no need for the financial aspect.

When they cry at my performance I will look into their eyes and see what I can never feel. I will share my experiences with them, the excitement, and they will live every second of it.



Fuck you death for killing a part of me that I can never get back.

But I will live my life to the fullest, to spite you every single day.

And show you, that I have won.

Because the day you take me will be one day.

But the day I really lived will be many.