Tonight's mid D run: 17mins

Shouldn't have ate so close to the run. Food kept coming out before I could hit the desired heart rate.



Impacted against a power box halfway during the run.

Perhaps there are some things that I don't have total control over yet.

The reaction to the pain from a blow still produces the same feelings.

The build up in the affected area and 'his' voice again.

Was quite difficult trying to silence him. Releasing some energy helped somewhat but didn't make him go away completely.

Sometimes I wonder how long it will take to snap out of the fighter's mentality.

Perhaps I need it. To provide the contrast as to how I want to live my life.

I imaged my hand stopping his heart, and the grasp on his head before the snap.

Looking at my hands after that, I woke up, and felt disgusted with myself.

I'm stronger than this, but sometimes my demons seem just as strong.

At times I wish that I could forget some parts of my past, forget the movements, forget the feelings, forget the pain.

Deal with it, Reu.