Fever's back, feel like crap, sprained my back rushing through a warmup set.

>_<

I'm just glad this nonsense hit me today and not during the race. But in the evening when we went to marina south for steamboatbbq, could feel it coming already... but what to do, won't miss this last dinner with some of the team.

Alot of stuff happened yesterday... The races, the analysis, the speculation. But when it came down to it, the team bonded together in the boat like never before, so I guess I'm happy for that. But unfortunately it was too late. This year is lucky number 4 for us I guess. When we came up and I saw Roy there with Boon San, Jing tien and Weiwen, I couldn't look him in the eye, I couldn't talk to him.

Heh, I guess I shouldn't be blaming myself, but in ways I should. I can't help but feel that I should have done more to help try to forge the team together as a senior. I'm always reminded that I'm the sole survivor out of the 120 who signed up for the guys team that day. The rest of the year 3s came in later, they didn't see alot of the stuff that we did.

But I didn't want to become some senior who was constantly kao-peing at the team, that should've been left to the captains, those who the team wanted to lead instead of me.

So yeah. I shouldn't blame myself.