Redwind and I did the most fantastic start.

But I had misread the currents. Almost went into the wrong lane which would have resulted in me getting disqualified, so I swept and swept. Back to lane 1. But the big S curve had slowed us down so much, I did another start, I chased after them.

But to no avail.

I had always known this was a possibly outcome. Walking to the race site I saw a canoeist, red eyed and sniffing, his friend trying to console him. Then walked by another pair, another despaired guy.

I remember Ben once told us "Those who come up from a unsuccesful race, with black faces, with sad expressions, are real losers."

I saw Jason and smiled. "Nice race." He said, as he smiled at me. The gold was his now. The probablity of the outcome for him was 99% based on my previous data and sets with him.

Was I naive to think that I could make it against these experienced canoeists, with just 8 months in the T1? No... I came so close....

Didn't go out to celebrate Samantha's gold and bronze. Sorry Samantha. Went to buy a new basketball and headed to the court to play in a long time.

I felt like a burden had been lifted from me.

Yet this anger.

Heh. I always get psyched up to train harder after losing. To go wild.

I remember having a talk with Yongqiang a couple of weeks back:

"Do you think God will help you in this race?" He asked.

I paused. "What if God doesn't want me to win." I remember telling him that I wanted to make this on my own. My own power, not his. My effort.

He laughed. "Why do you say such a thing?"

I didn't reply.



Because maybe that Ass may want to humble me through me losing.






But I haven't give up yet.

Nationals in the middle of the year. My next target.

Perhaps this may be the last entry for awhile.

I've started this blog in the hope to look back in the future and reflect, maybe learn from the past.

But there are many perspectives that I have to acknowledge. Too many to log down. And what better time to close a chapter, as I move on to a brand new one.





This was dedicated to Redwind. You were not as new or shiney as the newer boats like Bloody Mary, or Rouge. You were scratched and even had your floaters broken off. But you were always the most beautiful boat for me. May your new owner show you greater speed.

Love, your 2004 SICC 6th place finalist,

Reu.