I just thought I'd leave a more positive note on my blog, since some people whom have been reading it think that I am utterly demoralised based on the results of the race.

Yes, I wake up everyday, psyched up and ready to run for training, then I realize that its over - I had the chance and I blew it.

In the previous dragonboat races, we could always blame our poor overall team attendace, we could blame those who were slackers, we could blame those who didn't turn up for training regularly, we could blame those who didn't have the passion.

But this time, its me, who trained 9 times a week, who did all the research, who did all the mental rehearsals and psyche prep and visualization, to just fail lost his top 3 placing due to a misestimation of current. And to think I even beat Benny at 3rd place before...

But I couldn't pull it together.

Then I look at Jason. His stroke and pull somehow, is miraculous. And I can tell you this, even if he fouled up his direction, and made a big S curve like I did, he would still be infront. And I know, that I want to achieve that edge.

To be able to row so well, that I could cough up a hairball in the middle of the race and still be infront of everyone else who is on par with each other.


Did quite alot of thinking early in the week. Athletes must be the most free people in the world. We train so many hours a day, so many days a month, so many months a years just for 1 or 2 minutes to do the same thing with other free people.

I went out with Hong on monday. We watched the Butterfly effect... damn awesome concept behind the show btw. And he talked forever during dinner.

We were bitching about the team's attendace as usual, like every year, blaming the previous batches for not recruiting enough and in turn setting of a chain reaction. Then I blamed his batch for only managing to maintain 1 rower out of the 120 who signed up that year.

Then he said something which totally blew me away. "I'd rather we found one which is eh gan (got balls), then so many which is beh gan (no balls). And that was the first time my bro said something positive about me... then he said "Imagine if we had more like melvin." And we broke out laughing (sorry Melvin).

Then I went out with her on Tuesday for dinner. We were supposed to go to the gym together but she was feeling tired. How I love the way she is so humble, yet open in a conversation. And I can imagine being with her forever, sharing with her, laughing with her. But then I remembered something Thomas told me before. "My dad just told me this: 'Can you support her if you love her?'" And I will not be like those naive secondary school couples whos parents are supporting their relationship. But in the end I don't even have the time for something like that now, not since a long time.

And working on the musical with the actors and pianists is a wild ride. Coaxing the pianists to compose and tweaking their songs with them has produced very pleaseing results. I'm suprised with what they have come up with as I'm sure they are too. And the singers are picking up the songs pretty well, and they love it.

Staff meeting tomorrow with the company again. Dom and Rob and damn funny, kept calling me the prodigy during the previous staff meeting.

I just want the game to make it big. I just want the musical to be a success. I just want to kickass in the canoeing nationals ni the middle of the year.

Here's to a bigger, better chapter.