Cheng Xun's ord'ing tomorrow.

I think this is the first time I'm feeling sad that someone's ord'ing. CX is probably my favourite running partner. Its so hard to find someone who is compatible for running. They're either too slow until you have to leave them behind, or are too fast until you can break into a fit trying to keep up with them. It was perfect because he was usually slightly faster than me, so I could push myself that extra bit to keep up. We also could also click well because we're two of the very few "ang moh pai" around camp.

Now, I guess I may be back to solo running again. Sigh.

Race this weekened. I really dunno what the heck I'm feeling. I've been racing for 5 years now, so its not like there's anything particularly new to be excited about. And its not the first time I'm going to call for the final charge for a race.

Maybe its because our trial set timings have been so poor that's been bothering me. Can I blame it on the current?

Maybe its because I kept calling too early for the final charge on saturday.

Maybe its because if the final charge is too early or too late, it could cost us that crucial split second to determine the winner.

Maybe its because I've never screwed up the engine boosts call before, so theoretically speaking, the odds are greater that I'll screw it up for the actual race?

Maybe its because the future of the team is so damn uncertain, yet I've placed so much into it. Stepping out of Nteam for awhile to concentrate on safsa. Though I know I still have much to learn from them, but I just will not be able to give 100% into both of them in the current state of things. And I know my big bros will understand, since most of them were in safsa before anyway.

Maybe I'm just worrying needlessly because I only got 3-4 hours of sleep last night because the cadets and trainees like to harrass me so late at night and so early in the morning, and the damn fire alarm went off at 3am, and the stupid reservists dunno how to keep their damn keys properly.