Dead silence.

"Attention!" The loud speaker sounded the starter's voice from the floating platform.

"Paddles up!" Ben prompted us in a soft voice, but the tone and accentuation showed great urgency.

I stared blankly at the lifejacket of the rower infront of me.

"Focus..."

Tilted my head up a little to look through the course.

"Lets fly!"

"GO!" The starter yelled through the loud speaker.

All 6 boats exploded with their different starting procedures. The waters flying out from behind the boats and onto the starting platforms behind us.

I looked at the waves rise from the front of our boat from the right side. So high, like a T1 under a hyperactive canoeist. The boats here were lighter, their paddles were lighter too. So light that if the coxswain lifted the rudder from the water and the boat is at a slight angle, it will swerve a full 90 degrees in just a few seconds. It happened in an earlier race to another team, and as their coxswain attempted to pull them back on course, the whole dragon boat tilted to its side and capsized under speed and momentum.

"Build your walls." I said silently as I stared back at the lifejacket of the rower infront of me, hoping that somehow my team mates would do the same. Concentrating to match my every pull to hers. I glanced at the side. All the boats were on par with one another.

Halfway mark.

"5 Hard ready!?" Ben yelled out.
"Ready!" I called out as I heard my voice merge with the boat in unison.
"GO!" We did the move, then the check was called for and we went back to long pull.

Sudden slow down in the timing almost caught me off guard. "What the heck?" I thought to myself. Breathing harder, recovering...

I saw the other boats slowly inching away. And I started to pick up the power. To yank and throw out the water from beneath my paddle.

"Enjoy yourself." I looked up and smiled. Concentrating on each twist and pull. Diana's face on the drummer's seat. Urgency in her wide opened eyes as she yelled out something to the front rowers.

We were falling behind.

"Another 5 hard!" Ben called out again. "Go!"
We did the move again, trying so hard to catch up.

Arm, tired. Lactic acid build up. I snuck in a big heavy breath through the fast rythmic pattern, must pull on and subside this! This is the last race! Pull until we die!

The sensation went away, and I begun my charging pull. Pulling up the water at each recovery. Momentum build up, go harder, longer, faster! But the other boats weren't getting any closer.

Then I realized that the team lacks the willpower to make up in such situations. Its happened before during training. Some of them lose the drive. But how can it be? These are the selected 10 rowers out of the whole team for the mixed event.

"Damnit not now... don't you dare give up!" I screamed in my head. Hoping that Ben would yell out something to wake them up.

Pissed off. I pulled even harder, and managed to do 'that' stroke. The retarded stroke that I love to do during pool rowing, where the water comes up in a huge wave behind you.

Looked up at the markers, second last buoy.... its over.

We came in at about the same time as NTU.

We had lost. I hate to lose.

I heard the team cheering from the nearby hill. But there was no point. We had lost.

It was my best set though, never managed to do 'that' stroke in an actual set. But the conditions are probably more suitable for it here.

I wondered if there was more I could have done to urge the rest of the team to not give up when we were falling behind. Throughout the whole thing I was silent, except for the responses and timings. I wonder if it would be better to leave it up to them to psyche up, or did I have a responsibility as a team member to do it?

Not serious. Even before the last event, they were doing the kallang wave to welcome the team back. They could've been focusing and concentrating on how to win the race. Instead, they were too happy already, celebrating, to show all their "support".

Discipline. Get serious and concentrate. But they were distracting themselves and in the end it showed. Perhaps I should have stopped them. Told them to wake up. But didn't want to be a killjoy. Even the captains are doing the damned kallang wave. They're new too. Perhaps don't know the discipline the previous batches had.

Whatever, its over now. And I hate to lose. So as usual this period will be a pissed off training period for me. Who knows where I'll end up after this transition in terms of fitness. I guess its good to lose. It drives me to train even harder. I only wish the rest of the guys would do the same.

The girls won the womens event that day. I worry about the inequality of the girls and guys team.