Feel like crap.

Training was fine. Ben made us run around school and we yelled out loud outside the various canteens doing circuits as curious eyes were on us.

Then came weights. Ugh, I'm such an arrogant ass. Think that I have to be faster, more efficient, and have better form than everyone else. Maybe being near the top has brought out my over-competitiveness. Near the top? At the top? Sometimes I think that the team's standard has dropped since my first year. I keep thinking that there's no way that I can be at the top right now if Roy, Jingwei and Chunyi were around. Maybe that's true. Or I just have to overcome my achilles heal first - running.

Still no signs of returning pains in the knees, so It's all still good. Maybe when I overcome this aspect, then I'll be happy. Or I'll still be as pressurized.

Damnit, I should damn well be at the top. Training two extra days a week, with trainings during the holidays too. Even doing air-paddling infront of the mirror every damned day. The other guys don't know what kind of standard I'm forever trying to catch up to. I feel like I'm chasing a fading memory - of how I'd die every training with my yr1 seniors. How can they understand the amount of pressure I'm under? And they think that I'm a power-rower. I'm forever needing to catch up to weiwen, to jingwei - those were the power rowers.

Screw this. I'll fight my way up then screw them all.