Gym then canoed with the short vulgar nerd yesterday. Supposed to train with damien too but he thought that we were starting the week after. -_-

The small vulgar nerd is showing some semblance of speed at last. Can keep up with my long hard pull... for awhile at least before crashing and burning into the water in the most disastrous manner.


MOS with the nteam and safsa guys after that... fat people really take up too much space when its too crowded. And it was crowded to shit at the hiphop section. Ended up going to trance with dog and alvin.

Dance floor there wasn't too crowded at least. Its funny how the girls started crowding around... yet the one I went to had to go after awhile. Sad....

The ex was there.

She still feels so warm, like last time.


Training today.

Dog has matured so much. I now feel the same pride that I felt when I saw Den lead my team. Its different, but they are both different anyway. He may be finally ready.

He's managed to finally see the things that I've been trying to open his eyes to, yet maintain his heart and desire. One thing that I don't know if I will recover.

WZ is able to communicate with him much better and plan the trainings.

And even now as they come to me to solve the problems between them, I know that soon, they will be able to do that on their own.


Rowing with the old nteam guys is nostalgic. There's a certain sound you hear when you do the flip during recovery at a certain angle, and the water whisks off in a curve pattern, as the rower behind you catches every single drop on his blade. That gentle sound of water pattering on the blade between the heavy swosh of each pull.

Yet I feel more compelled to row my own boat out in the open waters. Vulnerable to the waves yet at peace with them.



Perhaps my future db races will be with n tu canoeing. I don't know.

Right now I'm just too tired from 5 hours of training.

Some birds are just meant to fly higher than the rest, to be free among the crowds.

I wonder what it would be like to get into the swing of school again. The normal flow is something that I tried so desperately to get out of.

Resources for the government. Overworked, underpaid, that's what the people in this country are. Underpaid perhaps not in money, but in other things. They console themselves with the figures that they make, the cars that they buy. They think that what little autonomy they have in their daily routine is a life.

How good it is to be naive.

How good it is to just be able to accept things like the way they are like a mindless drone.

But that is society, convention. If you challenge that, people will call you weird or crazy.





Den got enlisted already.

I remember the day I enlisted, he and JW were there to see me through all the way to the terminal. And I handed Den my tag right before we parted, keeping the "long" part.

It was to be a reminder to me to who I had come to be, and who I wanted to be, because I knew that being in the army may make me face that person whom I was so long ago, and I might need an extra reminder to remind me of my goals.

I wish I was there for him when he enlisted. But I was in China. One of those missed calls was probably from him. But I know those from the team that I passed down to him were there for him.

Den, Jonny, Louis... all the captains I've trained or mentored ended up in the commandos somehow.

Those whom I was close to in high school are overseas, or I have distanted myself from.

The old squad isn't in contact. We meet once a year or so, but nothing more. Perhaps there's something among us that can never be put to rest. There is always a state of tension among fighters even if they are friends. And we really don't need such a reminder anymore.


Is there no bond that can last? Friends come and go, family comes and goes, girls come and break your heart.

Sometimes its better off being naive.

Its better off just following society blindly.

Everything is as it should be according to convention.

A typical day at the cro wne plaz a resort:

Wake up

Wash up

Open door, greet security, take elevator down to cafe

Walk around the 50 metre buffet just to get 3 eggs, 3 hotcakes, 3 chicken/veal sausages, maybe a bowl of chicken porridge or miso soup

Avoid the paparazzi while going to the gym for first session.

Greet the gym girls at the gym, work out.

Head down to the business centre to check emails and etc after greeting the girls working there.

Go up to room, shower, change for the day's events/shooting.

Gather at reception and wait for the buses and police escorts to arrive.

Play psp on bus with bryan and francois or sleep.

Random event scheduled for us.

Head back to the resort for lunch.

Walk up and down the 50m buffet to plan what to eat.

Go back to start of buffet and start picking food that I want to eat.... knn.

Wave to waitress, get orange juice.

Go for second round of protein.

Head up to room to change.

See room in perfect condition since housekeeping has been there already, jump on smooth sheets and enjoy aircon for awhile.

Random event scheduled for us or go to gym again.

Go to business centre.

Go to the japanese restaurant for teppanyaki with Francois.

Gym if haven't yet, or play psp or sleep.

Go down for dinner...

Repeat steps from lunch for dinner.

Go to gym if haven't yet or go play psp.

Go to business centre to check email/etc.

Go play psp or go to the red peppe r club.

Go back to room, washup.

Sleep.




Yeap that's about it.

Was supposed to go to Zou k last night but... lost to the manual override sleep function on the bed instead.

Sometimes sleep is better than the.... alternative anyway.

Ehh... still sleepy for some reason.