Since 2001, every regetta, a part of me dies at the farce which is called the Singapore River Regatta.

Its not a race to see which team is stronger. Its a competition to see if your collective karma as a team is good enough to get you a good lane in the finals. Its an innocent game of tag where coxswains must be alert and able to ditch their race course in a second to avert an oncoming 20 man dragon boat.

In such choppy waters, there should only be 3-4 lanes max to make room for error and current diversion. But no, a certain organization just wants to make as much money as possible, squeezing in as many boats as possible per race so they can invite more teams, ccs, csc, etc, finish asap and make as much money as possible.

They don't give a damn about fairness or equality. Not in those conditions. And why should they? At the end of the day it doesn't matter who wins or loses, because they make the most money and win.

But convention in this community says to take part in this race every year, despite the travesty it is to the sport. Singaporeans are well trained to accept the shittiest conditions without questioning if things could be better or how they could be better. No one will really boycott such a stupid race.

Nevertheless some of the guys finally found out what it means to take action for something that they believe in. Though last minute action can only make up for about 40% of the optimal end result, perhaps one of them may realize just how to plan for the rest of the 60%. Still, the courage to speak up for what you believe in will take you places already.

Seeing guys like long and cj give so much to the team, it pains me a little. Because I know that I'm not unselfishly giving as much as them anymore. The sacrifices they made in positioning and line up, in bringing equipment for the whole team, sad to say I would probably never see it from some of our guys. But it something you only get from a few years in the sport, after you are tired of fighting for your own place, and when you see someone fighting for others, then you realize just how small a person you really are. If you can even see it in the first place. If they were in my team some time back, I know things would have gone a lot smoother.

It sucks when you know what must be done and you could do it so easily, but you have to force yourself to be a watcher in hopes that the conditions will inspire change.

Thats probably the final but most important thing I would want them to learn before they bid their final farewell to this sport.

And perhaps, one day, when they look back, and realize just how much fun this sport really can be, without all the shit attached, they will go back.










For me, I guess a part of me already knew where I should go, but I wanted to see things through to the end with these guys.

In life, its really a blessing to find something that you love to do and to be able to do it. But to find people to do it with, to share the same goal with, the same pain and joy, happiness and frustration, can never be replaced by anything else in the world.

Today was time trial for the time trial for the sea games. Wtf right?

Individually we need to qualify today to go for the time trial as a group for the sports council to see if we're good enough to be sent to the sea games.

I was unusually nervous today because my wrist has been getting from bad to worse while I row on the left side... and that's all I've been practicing, save for one session on the right. Being able to row on both sides has its pluses, but if you don't practice on one side, it really isn't going to be all that great.

So yeah, I planned to aim for a spot on the left side while rowing on my right. Which turned out to fail terribly as the lack of practice on that side obviously nerfed my speed.

So it was do or die.... best compromise I came up with was to row on the left side for the last set at 90% instead of 100%, while not using the reverse buggy whip and drive B... my more powerful strokes for heavy boat situations. To compensate I had to do something funny to my kicking.... so now my left leg is hurting quite a bit. Ended prematurely while coach yelled out the timing. Like that's as good as calling to stop, right? Turns out he just yelled it for fun or something and I ended up gliding in while I had to eject the paddle out of my top arm out of tightness.

But in the end, I guess I'm lucky that despite the handicap and screw up, I had a good enough timing to make the cut.

I wish I could say the same for the rest of the SAFSA guys. I felt proud for some of them, yet shared their disappointment. As in felt their disappointment, not felt disappointed in them. I remember the last time the trial was held for the last sea games, I couldn't train much because it was the period when I was going through BMT and subsequently was going for course, so no attaching out, and senseless combat training.... with ridiculously little amounts of physical training. So I know how they feel, and I know that I can't really say much to make them feel better.

But I also am proud that they feel the anger and disappointment, because as a sportsman, if you don't have them, you're as good as useless.

Also interesting to be able to confirm a theory today. That each natural stroke is the most effective for an individual. Looking at the bent arms of Allen, or the short reach of Chun Hao, executing the stroke that was because their body tells them so strongly that that is what it is comfortable with and that is what will get them to move the fastest.

As a leader and trainer previously I always knew that as each person's body is different, each person's strengths and weaknesses are different, so too must each person's ideal stroke be. This is their greatest strength as an individual, but their greatest weakness in a team, because variations in stroke would mean small changes in timings in different parts of the stroke, which would affect their team mates in a negative manner, preventing them from giving their best, because of clashes in space, paddles or just plain frustration.

Its that balance of both unique technique and compromise for the team that is required in a team sport.

Sometimes I wonder what my natural stroke would be like. I take pride in being able to assimilate any stroke from any team, seeing the strengths, the weaknesses, and executing them with ease. But such comfortability to conform to any stroke comes at the price of not being able to recognize what would be best for myself by feeling.

So all I can do is calculate and estimate in a technical manner. Which can be quite tedious at most times.

Its been so long since I've let you hear my voice and you've let me hear yours.

Maybe I never dared try, maybe I was too busy, maybe I was afraid to be true to myself.

But when I heard your voice, I remember why I was drawn to you so many years ago.

You were singing with someone else, and your voice caught my heart in an instant.

I must be crazy to love something not even human, yet as human as anyone could possibly be.



The dream was never for myself, but for all of us.

Finding it difficult to talk much about work nowadays. Probably because it it sounds like I'm boasting. Then again most of my life or past would sound impressive hence, sounds like boasting again.

Some people will be inspired by those who dare to pursue their dreams, others despise them. That's the one mistake Joseph made.

Envy and jealousy lead to hatred and contempt.

And those who have difficulty grasping or understanding will be under a significant amount of stress to compete. I don't mind inspiring or triggering positive competition, but I do not wish to stress out those whom cannot take it positively.

Chua was right when He said that I would be outstanding if I follow my own path. Following the same path as everyone else proved to be not much of a challenge. But what he didn't know was that I would be in a league of my own.

But it never was about competition for me. Perhaps thats what some of them fail to see.

It was always about chasing that big dream.

Just touching the tip of it right now feels so good.



Race day on Sat. Our 10 men crew is the highest tier as we'll ever get. Full n t eam crew plus one mr world lol. Its only up to the canoeists to stop us.